A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing
by Kristen Bealer
Daria Morgendorffer and
“This is
pointless,” she complained in a whisper.
“I’ve probably read every urban legend ever told, but I still haven’t
found anything on what purpose they serve.
What do they do other than frighten the gullible?”
“They’re
educational,” Jane whispered back. “Do
you know how many new stalking tips I’ve picked up by listening to you this
past week? I’m still trying to decide
which celebrity to practice number thirty-seven on.”
Daria only shook her head, opened another book,
and turned her notebook to a new page.
The words “But, baaabe,” invaded
the silence of the library and caused Daria to press
down too hard, breaking her pencil lead.
The voice whined, “I was just talking
to her!”
“Do you think I’m
stupid?!” An even shriller voice caused
the remaining lead to tear a small hole in the page. “You were drooling all over her!”
“I was hungry,
babe! She was holding a piece of pizza!”
“Yeah,
right. That wasn’t the only piece you were thinking
about!”
Daria glanced around the library. The
librarian picked a perfect time to go on break.
Fine.
I’ll handle this myself. She
slowly closed her notebook, stood up, and walked over to the arguing couple.
“
They stared blankly
at her. “What do you mean?”
“The ghost,” she
replied.
Kevin’s eyes
widened. “Tommy Sherman is here?” he
exclaimed. “Where?”
“No, Kevin, the
library ghost. Haven’t you ever heard
about her?”
More blank stares
answered her.
“It began many
years ago, with a girl who spent most of her time here in this very library.”
“Aww, this is a story about a brain?” Kevin’s attention span visibly began to fade.
Thinking quickly, Daria added, “A girl who wanted to be popular.” Seeing that she had their interest again, she
continued. “She wanted to be just like
the jocks and the cheerleaders and the other popular people, but she didn’t know
how. So she spent all of her time in
this library, trying to study popularity.”
“Study
popularity? But how would studying make
you more popular?”
“Well,
“Oh,
yeah.”
“Anyway, the girl went
from book to book, reading as many as she could in her quest. She became smarter and smarter, and therefore
the popular people spent even less time around her, making her even more
unpopular than before.”
“That’s so
sad!”
“Yes. Very sad. So finally, an old librarian heard about her
persistent—er, I mean, not-giving-up—search and told
her that there was a special book that could unlock all of the secrets of
popularity.
“The girl asked the
librarian to let her see the book, but the librarian said that the book was too
dangerous to ever let anyone read. She
told the girl that the book was cursed, and anyone who read it would have
really bad luck all their life.
“But the girl
didn’t care. She wanted to be popular
more than anything in the world. So she
begged and pleaded for the librarian to let her read the book. At last, the librarian brought the girl to a
dusty shelf in the library and pointed to a book just within reach.
“The librarian warned
the girl one last time against reading the book, but the girl ignored her. She reached her hand way, way up, and grabbed
the book. The librarian ran away,
afraid, as the girl opened the book and began to read.
“She read every
single secret in the book. She learned
how to make her hair bouncy, how to make her voice high and squeaky, and how to
push all the smart thoughts out of her head.
Thanks to that book, the girl knew that she would be the most popular
person in the whole world.
“But she should
have listened to the librarian. Because the book was, in fact, cursed.”
Kevin stared at Daria. “What
happened to the girl?” he asked.
Daria didn’t blink. “When she tried to put the book back on the
shelf a whole pile of books fell on her head and killed her. Her ghost still lives here.”
“Wow,”
Kevin laughed
nervously. “Aw, that’s silly. I’ve never heard of this library being
haunted!”
“Well, the ghost
doesn’t haunt everyone. She was so angry
that she never got to be popular that she spends all of her time
making bad things happen to the popular people who come in.”
“What kinds of
things?”
“Don’t you remember
the first time you guys came into this library?” Daria
replied.
Kevin and Brittany gasped
at the same time. “The
roof!” Kevin cried. “It fell on
our heads!”
“That’s right,
Kevin. But the roof didn’t cave in until
after I left. She only wanted the roof
to fall on you two.”
“But that means the
ghost already got us!”
“Babe, don’t be
silly. We’re inside. Lightning only hits stuff outside. So we’re safer inside!” Kevin grinned at his spectacular command of
logic, but the grin disappeared as a shower of paperback books rained down on
him and Brittany.
“The
ghost!”
Kevin was already
halfway to the door.
Daria watched the pair flee the building, barely
stopping to open the door. She turned,
and then smirked as she looked through the book shelf that they had been
standing in front of. A pair of gray
boots, standing on a ladder, confirmed her suspicions.
“Nice touch,” she
said.
Jane stepped from
behind the shelf. “I prefer stories that
are interactive.”
The girls sat at
the table once again, and Daria pulled a new pencil
out of her book bag. “Well, that answers
that question.”
“What’s that?”
“Urban legends do
serve an important purpose, after all.
They make life a hell of a lot easier.”
Thanks to Ranger
Thorne, RLobinske, and Mr Orange
for beta reading.