Story ©2007 by The Angst Guy
Daria and associated characters and their images are ©2007 MTV Networks
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Feedback: Feedback (good, bad, indifferent, just want to bother me, whatever) is always appreciated. Please write to: The Angst Guy.
Synopsis: A musical spin-off from a much better fanfic by E. A. Smith (“Good Intentions”), this bluegrass-music ballad works best if sung to the tune of Grandpa Jones’s famous “Mountain Dew,” with banjo accompaniment.
Author’s Notes: While reading E. A. Smith’s “Good Intentions,” about Daria Morgendorffer and Stacy Rowe’s disastrous attempt to collaborate on a story for Mr. O’Neill’s class, this song came to mind. I posted it, and it became the first fanfic I ever wrote that received no comments at all. It was completely ignored by everyone. I was so amazed that I have decided to post it anyway, because I am a boogerhead. Check online to find the music for the bluegrass song “Mountain Dew” (about the alcoholic drink known as moonshine, not the carbonated-and-caffeinated beverage), and enjoy! Yaaa-hooo! The illustration of Mystik Spiral as a bluegrass or old-time music band came from MTV Daria website, in a group of alter egos.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to E. A. Smith for being a good sport about my stupid song even when I was being a boogerhead. I still loved your story—it’s loads better than this trash!
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The Mystik Mountain Spiral Boys present . . .
The Ballad of Stacy Rowe
(sung to that lively tune, “Mountain Dew,” by Grandpa Jones)
Trent:
Oh, once there was a girl with teeth as white as pearl
And her pigtails, they hung long and low,
And she loved to write, you see, ‘cause what she wanted most to be
Was a world-famous author, Stacy Rowe!
All:
Yeah, she wanted to write, poor Stacy Rowe,
The sweetest little gal you’ll ever know,
She shouldn’t never orta talked to Daria Morgendorffa,
Oh, that poor, poor, poor Stacy Rowe!
Trent:
Stacy gathered up her prose and stuck it right under the nose
Of a brain that she thought would make her glow,
But Daria, it seems, put an end to all her dreams,
By sayin’ that she sucked, Stacy Rowe!
All:
Yeah, she wanted to write, poor Stacy Rowe,
The sweetest little gal you’ll ever know,
She shouldn’t never orta talked to Daria Morgendorffa,
Oh, that poor, poor, poor Stacy Rowe!
Trent:
Now you’d know that I be lyin’ if I said she wasn’t cryin’
Oh, those sorrowful tears, they did flow,
She ran home to her bed where she lay down her head
And she cried herself to sleep, Stacy Rowe!
All:
Yeah, she wanted to write, poor Stacy Rowe,
The sweetest little gal you’ll ever know,
She shouldn’t never orta talked to Daria Morgendorffa,
Oh, that poor, poor, poor Stacy Rowe!
Trent:
Then poor Stacy came unhinged as she dreamed about revenge,
And she woke up and she plotted out the blows,
So when Daria disappeared, it was commonly feared
That the last face she saw was Stacy Rowe’s!
All:
Yeah, she wanted to write, poor Stacy Rowe,
The sweetest little gal you’ll ever know—
Unless you tell her she can’t write . . .
. . . then she’ll show up in the night
With a loaded gun and shovel, Stacy Rowe!
With a loaded gun and shovel, Sta-cy Rooooowe!
YEEE-HAAAW!!!
Original 03/02/07, modified 03/05/07
FINIS
