MTV's Daria Morgendorffer, that sarcastic, slacker chick we all know and love, gives up her secrets for a successful school year. Use them at your own risk.

1. Never make eye contact with a teacher who utters the words "school spirit" or "extra credit."
2. If something seems really stupid, it probably is.
3. Avoid dating guys whose names are verbs, such as Rip or Slash.
4. It's okay to swap outfits with your friends... but not during class.
5. Whatever that smell in your locker is, it's not going to improve with time.
6. Never accept a collect call from a prison inmate, unless it's one of your former teachers.
7. Teachers prefer book reports that are neatly typed on a computer over those scrawled in lipstick on a supersized Mr. Goodbar wrapper.
8. Nail polish is meant to be applied externally.
9. Avoid after-school jobs that involve mopping up blood.
10. No matter what pressure is brought upon you, avoid the Salisbury steak.