The characters in this story are not my own. DISCLAIMER: Daria and all related characters are the property of MTV productions. DISCLAIMER: STARGATE SG-1 and all related characters, weapons, and exerpts are the property of MGM studios. This is my first fanfic so please don't judge it to harshly. written by Steve Mitchell THROUGH the GATE SETTING: Monday may 11,2000 The Lawndale seniors arrive at the Lawndale museum of science and archeology on a field trip for their history class. Dimartino is about to rip his hair out once again because Kevin and Brittany keep tripping the alarm system when they try to touch the exhibits. Dimartino: KEVIN!!....(eye looks like its about to explode) what part of do not touch does that atrophied cluster of cells you call your BRAIN..not understand? Kevin: uummm....the don't part?? Brittany: Oh babe...you actually got the question right! Kevin: Cool. Maybe I am learning something here after all. Dimartino:(trying to calm himself down but still speaking through his teeth) Kevin...walk to the center of the hall and stay there for the rest of the day without moving. Can you do that Kevin? Kevin: umm..I guess so. (Walks off) (A man walks up to the class as they are standing around in groups of two and three. (The man is dressed like he went out on safari and got back just in time. Dimartino: CLASS LISTEN UP.....THIS is Mr.Pelias..he is the director of this museum and will be giving us an extensive tour of the place so make sure you PAY attention because you will have to write a six page report on what artifact you found most interesting and why. BY THE WAY.. Did I mention that this paper is DUE tomorrow. Have fun. (Dimartino walks off to talk with one of the other teachers on the trip (Moans and sighs come from the students) Daria: Great Just what I need a major report on a bullshit subject that's due tomorrow. The day has already taken a dark and sinister turn on us and it's only 9:00 in the morning. Jane: Yeah, bummer... do you think it's possible that the day could get better? Daria: Not likely, unless maybe all the exhibits fall over and come crashing down on Mr.Dimartino. Jane: (grinning) Daria the optimist. There may be hope for you yet. (MR.PELIAS has gathered the class together and has begun to guide them on the tour through the (museum. He stops to point out each and every exhibit, where it was found and when. (During the tour daria stops from looking at an exhibit with Jane to spot a familiar face wandering through the museum. Daria: Aunt Amy????? Amy: Just Amy. Daria: what are you doing here?? Amy: I was about to ask the same of you but I guess I'll go first. I managed to get the day off after the building where I work sprung a gas leak. So I was stuck at home and bored out of my skull so I figured I'd come here and check out their new exhibits. Jane: So THIS is the infamous Amy you've been telling me so much about. (Daria casts a fierce scowl at Jane that could have easily burned a hole clean through her. (Amy just raises an eyebrow in interest. Amy: SOOO.. At any rate have you girls seen the exhibit at the end of this hall? Daria: No why, is it the mummified remains of an ancient school teacher? Jane:(smirking) undoubtedly killed when his students went berserk after to much homework. Amy: Not quite, but you might like it Jane, it looks like a modern art sculpture but according to the plaque its over ten thousand years old. It actually looks kind of cool. Daria and Jane: Ten thousand!!! Daria : Wait but according to recorded history humans only go back for five thousand years. That doesn't make any sense. Are you sure you read the plaque right? Amy: (in an irritated voice) I can read Daria. Daria: ( sensing she has offended) sorry, I was just searching for a rational explanation. Amy: it's cool. Anyway come see it. (They get to the end of the hall and see the exhibit. It is a large metal ring standing upright about (thirty feet high. There are markings evenly spaced around the outside track. Fifteen feet in front (of the ring is what at first glance appears to be a sundial with a red ball in the center. Upon closer (examination they see that the same markings they saw on the ring are engraved on keys around (the top of this thing. Daria: what the freak is this thing it looks like a giant Egyptian donut? Amy: uhhh..don't mention donuts I must have ate a whole box at breakfast. Jane: (chuckles) Breakfast of champions eh? Daria: ummm...okay so where did they find this thing ? Amy: In Peru, somewhere around the old Aztec cities. Jane: cool, maybe they used it as a giant Hula-Hoop. (Daria looks at Jane with a smirk) Jane: what?? Aztecs had fun once in a while to. (Amy looks at Jane and begins to laugh). Jane: WHAT!!? (Daria and Amy regain their deadpan expressions and continue to examine the exhibit.) Daria: This thing isn't supposed to be open to the public is it? Amy: No, but they left the door open, my curiosity got the better of me, and well here we are. To be honest I don't think they are even finished researching this thing yet. Jane: Feeling a touch sneaky today are we, or is it devious? I can never tell the difference. Amy: damn straight. (Outside some commotion can be heard. It sounded like a small army of combat boots along (with the aggravated voice of the museum director Jane: You get the feeling we've been discovered Daria? Daria : Or rescued from this field trip. Mr. Pelias: DAMMIT COLONEL, you can't simply walk in here declare that you are going to confiscate something and simply walk out with it. Colonel O'neal: YES, Mr. Pelias I can. (Pulls a set of official papers out of his jacket that have the presidential seal on them and hands them to Mr Pelias.) Colonel O'neal: Mr. Pelias, This artifact as you call it poses a significant threat to national security and I am under direct orders from the president of the united states to confiscate It and ship it back to Cheyenne mountain for research and observation. now step aside. MR.PELIAS: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF THREAT COULD THIS THING POSSIBLY POSE??? Colonel O'neal: Captain Carter, if you would be so kind. (Captain Carter. raises her weapon and chambers a round) Captain Carter: The use of deadly force has been authorized Mr. Pelias so move your ass. (Mr. Pelias steps aside and O'neal and the rest of the SG-1 team walk into the room at the end of the hall only to find Daria, Jane, and Amy checking out the gate themselves.) O'neal: what are these people doing here? They don't look like they are part of the museum staff. Pelias: I don't' Know I...they... Daniel Jackson: My god Jack, they have this thing all hooked up. Someone could have come through at any time. Pelias: What the hell do you mean come through? Come through what from where? O'neal: How the hell did you know how to assemble this thing. Pelias: It was like that when we found it we just dismantled it for shipping and then reassembled it for shipping. We have been researching it for the past month and we still have no Idea what it is. Can you tell us? O'neal: That's classified. Daria: Does anyone want to tell US what's going on?? And what's with this ogre with the gold tattoo on his forehead? Jane: Leave the ogre alone Daria, the tattoo looks cool. O'neal: . Jackson, Til'k get started on dismantling this thing I want to have it on the truck within the hour. (While O'neal is giving orders only Daniel Jackson has noticed that the STARGATE has begun to dial on its own) Jackson: JACK...Off world activation of the STARGATE!!!! Daria: What the hell is a STARGATE?? O'neal: SHUT UP..and get down. (Grabs Jane and daria by the arm and tosses them behind a marble sculpture. Amy has already ducked behind the gate control console. Amy: (vo) somehow I seriously doubt this was the best place to hide. Jackson: Did anyone beside me see this coming?? (Jane raises her hand from behind the statue) Jane: I did. It's things like this that usually manage to find their way into our day. Daria: (Mona Lisa smile) This is true. O'neal:(realizes that the gate has already locked chevron five) Shit, everybody chamber your weapons but hold your fire unless I give the order. (Everyone cocks their weapons and Til"k snaps open his staff weapon) Jane: Listen before you guys shoot the shit out of the giant donut can we get the hell out of here? O'neal: stay right where you are. Jackson: chevron seven is locked!!!(the STARGATE explodes into life emitting its signature water like light. Jane:(peering out from behind the statue) COOOOOOOOOL!.....Daria you've got to see this. Daria: (peering out from her side of the statue) I see it...what the hell is it? Jane: Damned if I Know. Wait, maybe it's a space age swimming pool. Wish I had a video camera with me. Daria: SOS artist overboard. Jane: I hate you (Daria smirks at this) (Moments pass until finally large lumbering figures covered in armor and with helmets shaped (like a snakes head begin to emerge from the STARGATE. Each figure carries a staff weapon exactly (like til'ks. (Finally, a lone figure emerges from the gate and it closes behind him. He is not like the others. (His armor is gold and he does not wear a helmet. O'neal: OHHH goodie, it's our old friend opoffice. (Shouts)Sorry about your ships but hey shit happens when you screw with humans. Jane: Daria, do you think he means that figuratively or literally? (Opoffice eyes glow expensively displaying his anger at encountering these people every time (he turns around. (Suddenly Trent and Jesse enter the room Trent: Hey Daria. Janie said you guys would be here this morning. Stops, looks around. Whoa what's going on?. Jesse: Yea? Carter: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE FAST!!!! (Opoffice snaps his head around to look at Trent and Jesse (and points at them as if they were sg-1's reinforcements Opoffice: JAFFA..CREE (The Jaffa soldiers snap open their staff weapons and level them at Trent and Jesse Trent and Jesse: HOLY SHIT!!!!!! (Trent and Jesse take off running just before the Jaffa open fire and blow the door behind them to splinters. (Another Jaffa sees Amy hiding behind the console, grabs her and pulls her out and shows her to Opoffice. Amy: (struggling viciously) Let me go you overgrown hood ornament! (Amy tries to bite the Jaffa's arm) Opoffice: yes, very nice ( stuns her with that hand weapon of theirs and she goes limp) Daria: Let Amy go you son of a bitch Opoffice: (to the Jaffa soldiers) LO sheia cree chiappa-eye (The Jaffa soldier holding Amy turns around to shield her, another walks to the console and (begins to dial out. Til"k: (loudly) Let her go false god. You are a coward to hide behind a hostage. Stand and face us. (The gate again explodes to life and opoffice accompanied by the one Jaffa carrying Amy (quickly duck through the gate before the gate closes behind them leaving five remaining Jaffa (behind to deal with the humans. As soon as the gate closes the remaining Jaffa level their staff (weapons at sg-1 and begin to advance toward them. Daria: Jane, do you ever get the feeling your screwed Jane: only around Jesse. Daria: THAT I did not need to know. O'neal: Okay people drop them (Upon hearing this Daria reaches into her boot and pulls out a 9mm bareta) Daria: I knew I would end up needing this thing some day. Jane: where the hell did you get that thing? Daria: Found it in the trash at my old school in highland...It's amazing what drug dealers will throw away. (Automatic weapons fire erupts in the room and as usual most of the bullets bounce off the (Jaffa's armor. after about fifteen seconds of continuos fire one of the Jaffa finally drops. (Til'k levels his staff weapon at a second Jaffa and fires blowing a hole right through him. (The remaining three Jaffa level their weapons at the statue Jane and daria are hiding behind. Daria: HOLY CHRIST Jane:(grabs daria by the jacket and pulls her out of there) Must run.!!!!!!! (The three Jaffa fire simultaneously and send the statue exploding into splinters of smoldering (rock. (The three Jaffa turn their attention back to sg-1 only to see TIL'K level another Jaffa. O'neal: two to go (two gunshots are heard and then silence. Sg-1 in complete surprise looks up to see the remaining two Jaffa dead. Apparently shot clean through the Heart and Daria standing five feet away from them holding a smoking bareta. Daria: GODDAMN I love armor piercing rounds!!! O'neal: (looks at Carter) Kay, check that...coast is clear. Jane: I have GOT to get myself one of those. (Trent and Jesse come walking out of the shadows) Trent: Is it over? What the hell are those guys and what did they want anyway? Jesse: Yea what the hell just happened? (Daria snaps back to reality) Daria : dammit they've got Amy! You, Umm.... army guy, where did they take her and why? Jane: Yea.. man start talking. O'neal: The name is colonel Jack O'neal and we will tell you what you need to know later but for now you will all need to come with us. Don't worry we'll get her back TIL'K, Jackson I need you to dismantle that thing as quickly as possible before someone else tries to come through. Carter and I will escort these four to the truck. Trent: (as he is being escorted out) This is bullshit!!!! Jesse: YEA!!! END SCENE 1 BEGIN SCENE 2 (Sublevel 27 conference room , inside Cheyenne mountain) (Daria, Jane, Trent and Jesse are seated at a large conference table.) Jane: well, now we Know where all our tax dollars go Daria: yea, they get sucked through a metal ring called the STARGATE and get abducted by snake people . Jane: okay, actually I was thinking They get wasted on this hole of a facility and the bureaucracy within but I guess that was close enough.(gives Trent a are you going to help me or what look) Trent:(realizes he has missed his cue) Don't worry love, well get her back. Daria: (perks her head up) what was that? . Trent: Alive....well get her back alive. Daria: oh. I hope so. (Jane just rolls her eyes at Trent who is blushing at his slip of the tongue.) (Daria puts her head down in her arms and sighs) (Jane inaudibly mouths the words "are you going to tell her or what" while looking at Trent) (Trent scowls and mouths the words not now dammit) (Enter sg-1 accompanied by General Hammond) (all take a seat) General Hammond: Okay people I realize that you have already met our sg-1 team but for the sake of formality I will introduce them to you and explain the situation. Here goes, Over here we have Captain Samantha Carter, next to her is Dr. Daniel Jackson, across from him is TIL'K, and of coarse leaves colonel Jack O"Neil the head of the sg-1 team. Any questions? Jane: Yea, I have one. TIL'K what the freak are you? Til"k: (deadpan voice) I am a Jaffa (TIL'K explains what a Jaffa is, who the goa'uld are, and how he came to be with sg-1) Daria: So you have one of those things inside you? TIL'K: That is correct. Daria: Can I see it? (TIL'K stands up pulls his shirt up and shows her) Daria: ughhh Jane, Jesse, Trent: WHOA!!!!!!! (Til"k explains how infant goa'uld incubate inside a Jaffa until they are old enough to take a host.) Hammond: Okay people that's enough show and tell lets get down to bushiness.. Fortunately Dr. Jackson was able to see where they took your aunt. Trent: So.... where the hell did they take here? TIL'K: It was not to chulag. That is for certain. Trent: Well thank Mr. Freaking Spock, where did they take her? Jackson: They took her to planet ps319alpha Daria:(deadpan voice) say that three times fast. (Jane,Trent,and Jesse all chuckle) Jesse: so...what kind of planet is that? Carter: were not sure but we believe it to be a new base for opoffice to rule from. (Carter explains about chulag and what opoffice would want with Amy) Trent: So when do we leave to go get her? Hammond: SG-1 will be leaving within the hour. You however will be staying here. Daria: MY ASS!!! I'm going with you and I'm going to kill that bastard myself. Hammond: Look I am not about to let a bunch of teenagers go traipsing off to some god forsaken world to die. You have no Idea what you're going up against. (TIL'K interrupts) TIL'K: General, colonel O'neal May I speak with you. (They exit to the hallway for fifteen minutes and then return to the conference room.) Hammond: TIL'K has explained to me how you handled the goa'uld at the museum, and after siting a few other examples such as modern high schoolers being able to handle high tech weaponry, and then the circumstance of Dr. Jackson, I have reluctantly agreed to allow you to join the team on this mission, but make no mistake Colonel O'neal will be in charge. You follow his orders or you don't go. Got it? Darians in unison: you got it chuckles. Hammond:(grimaces at his new nickname)sg-1 will brief and equip you. Heed my warning though, If any of you breath a word of this to anyone... (Hammond is cut off by daria) Daria: yes, yes, we all saw that one coming a mile away. You'll find us no matter where we are and make us disappear. Jane: BUT.. Not before you drag any information out of us using advanced tickle torture. (Everyone in the room gives Jane a bizzare look) Hammond: (rolls his eyes) Teenagers. What is this military coming to? END SCENE 2 BEGIN SCENE 3 (Enter the STARGATE holding area.. The STARGATE is seen idling in the background.) (Teams SG-3, and SG-12 are waiting for them) (The Darians enter accompanied by sg-1 and stand about twenty five feet from the STARGATE wearing all their gear) (TIL'K walks up with a hand truck loaded with a variety of weapons. He begins to issue them to the darians.) TIL'K: (deadpan voice) Trent Lane.(Picks up a submachine gun and a semi auto pistol along with several clips of armor piercing ammo and hands them to Trent) Trent: That's the name don't wear it out. (No reaction from TIL'K) TIL'K: Jesse Moreno Jesse: yo bud. (TIL'K issues him a sub machine gun, a semiauto pistol, the corresponding ammo and a stinger missile which he straps to Jesse's pack) (Til"k issues the same assortment of weapons to Jane) (TIL'K steps over to Daria but instead of the usual weapons the others received he issues her a semiauto pistol with armor piercing ammo and a staff weapon which he shows her how to use.) (TIL'K walks back to stand with sg-1 ) O'neal: TIL'K why did you hand Daria a staff weapon? Typically you're the only one who uses those. TIL'K: It will give her a better chance of survival against the Goa'uld. Carter: Better chance of survival???.......Oh my god you like here don't you. TIL'K: She reminds me of my wife..strong willed and never afraid to speak her mind. Carter: Have you thought about telling her? Til"k: It would not be prudent. Leave it at that. Carter: okaaay then. (O'neal signals that they are ready to go) (the computer technicians initiate the dial out sequence and the STARGATE comes to life.) Daria: Soooo..colonel what will this feel like? O'neal: Take it this way I hope you didn't eat a big breakfast. Jesse: Don't mention food, I'm still hungry. Carter: with everything you ate a couple of hours ago? Boy, that's not a stomach you've got. It's a bottomless pit. Jane: you haven't seen him eat at home. Jesse:(elbows Jane) Hey! (Daria and Trent chuckle.) Jane: we're ready to enter the donut colonel. O'neal: okay here we go. HEY, no stalling. (shoves the Darians through the gate and then SG-1 follows) END SCENE 3 : BEGIN SCENE 4: ( The Darians emerge from the other end of the STARGATE tumbling head over heals. SG-1 emerges on the half step with no problems.) (There is nobody insight of the gate) Carter: Guess they don't have their gate legs yet. (TIL'K gives her a "say what"?? look) (The darians are attempting to get up but the are all shivering as if they are freezing to death) TIL'K: It is best if you move about. It will pass soon (Daria walks slowly over to TIL'K places her hand on his shoulder for a few seconds as if for support then lowers her head quickly and vomits.) Jane: well, something sure passed. Trent:(chuckles) good one Janie. (Looks at Daria) You okay? Daria: Peachy. Umm...sorry about your boots. (TIL'K sighs heavily and walks toward the other members of SG-1) Jane: looks like you made a lasting impression. Daria: (scowls) If we run into trouble remind me to use you as a shield. O'neal: okay people that's enough, by the look of these tracks it looks like they took her to the south. Trent: How can you tell that these are the people who actually took her? TIL'K: Look at the tracks . One of the foot prints is staggering as if the person where carrying something that was resisting heavily. Jesse: Ladies and gentlemen, sherlock TIL'K TIL'K: (looks at Carter) What is a sherlock? Carter: we'll tell you later. Colonel, these tracks are awfully well defined. You would think they wanted us to know where they went. Jackson: I'm no tracker but I have to agree with Carter. O'neal: Your probably right but since we don't know the lay of the land or where they could possibly be taking her, I think following the tracks is our best bet for now. TIL'K: I concur. (O'neal turns to face the other two teams and begins to issue orders.) O'neal: Okay, listen up. Everyone set your radios to frequency CHARLIE-mike and set your message encoder. SG-12 will stay here to guard the gate and set up defenses in case we need to make a hasty retreat. SG-3 you will be our backup. If we don't radio in within three hours tune into Carter's iris control transponder and come find our ass's. Everybody got that? (Everyone responds in unison) yes sir! (SG-1 departs down what looks like a dirt road) (After walking for about an hour they stop for a minute) Jesse: does anybody hear that? (Everyone listens and hear people talking in ancient Egyptian) Jesse: What language is that? It sounds like their constipated or something. Jane: Dammit keep your voice down, it sounds like their over there. (They walk through a thick grove of tree's to a clearing with a stone building in the center) (Outside Amy is seen bound and gagged while two Jaffa stand nearby.) (SG-1 crouches down and begins to speak in hushed tones.) Carter: colonel this makes no sense, the last few times the Gould kidnaped someone they tried to make hosts out of them and even the ones that were rejected were pretty well guarded. I mean she's out in the open with only two guards. Daria: Does anyone besides me smell a ....(sound of staff weapons snapping open comes from behind)...trap. Jane: Just had to open your mouth didn't you. Daria: At least I saw it coming! Jane: yea.. At the last minute you glory hound. Daria: doushbag! Jaffa: (yells in English) silence or you die!!! (Daria gives a get ready look to Jane) (Daria swings around snaps open her staff weapon and fires several shots at the feet of the Jaffa effectively staggering them. Then while they are blinded she takes off running back into the grove) (the Jaffa recover and quickly knock the other team members to the ground, tie them up and place them in line with Amy. By this time she has succeeded in working the gag out of her mouth.) Amy: (sarcastically) so are we having fun yet? O'neal: Oh god another cynic, just kill us already. Amy: I take it you met Daria and Jane. (TIL'K smiles at this, so does Amy)(sort of) (Amy leans forward to look at Jane) Amy: hi Jane, thanks for coming after my ass and getting yourselves captured. Jane: Hey any time, we do this kind of stuff for kicks. Amy: So what happened with that scuffle over there, all I could see was you guys taking a beating. O'neal: Your niece deserted us. TIL'K: (in defense of Daria) colonel do you not smell the filth which you are shoveling, she ran to get help. O'neal: she could have gotten us all killed, she should have waited for SG-3 to come after us. Amy: Oh I think they mean to kill us before that happens. Look over there. (Shows Opoffice entering the clearing) Jackson: so all they wanted you for is BAIT! Amy: very good Einstein. You go to the head of the class. (Meanwhile Daria has been talking to SG-3 on the radio to send the reinforcements.) (Pan back to SG-1) (Opoffice orders the team to be moved in front of the base of a large hill, it is clear they are to be executed.) Trent: Wait! Don't we get a last request or something. (The Jaffa snaps open his staff weapon and moves it slowly from side to side as if trying to decide whom to kill first.) Jesse: guess not. (Without warning automatic weapons fire erupts from above and behind them killing that Jaffa and the two guarding opoffice. Daria levels her staff weapon at opoffice and fires but he has already erected an energy shield around himself.) Daria proceeds down the hill and begins to untie everyone. Strangely opoffice stands idle with his eyes glowing periodically.) Daria: daria to the rescue as usual Jane: (impersonated voice of scarlett o'harra) Our hero! Daria: yea,yea,yea. Hold still already. (After untying everyone, they all reclaim their weapons. Daria again levels her staff weapon at opoffice but this time he raises his hand and uses that palm weapon to send her flying about thirty feet.) Daria: (grunting) THAT........HURT (Opoffice raises his hand again but O'neal remembers the last time this happened and quickly grabs his knife and tosses it through opoffice's palm disabling the shield and the weapon. (Opoffice looks like he is about to drop a load in his armor.) Carter: He's all yours Daria Daria: no, I believe Amy should definitely have this honor. (Picks up one of the dead Jaffa's weapons and tosses it to Amy) Daria: Know how to work it. Amy: I've seen it done enough times. (Snaps open the staff weapon and fires it hitting opoffice square in the head.. His body falls to the ground.) (Amy with TIL'K along side walk over to the body. Amy looks at it and then begins to kick and swear at it furiously. She stops and leans down to yell at the body.) Amy: How's it feel asshole. (While she is doing this the goa'uld that is opoffice appears from the body's mouth and lunges at Amy, fortunately TIL'K was expecting this and caught the little bugger and killed it.) TIL'K: You almost became a host Amy. (Amy stands there looking pale over what almost happened.. Suddenly multiple shots fly past them. In the distance what looks like every Jaffa on the planet can be seen running toward them .) Trent: no wonder he was so calm he was expecting company any minute! O'neal: forget your goodbye's already, everybody fall back to the STARGATE and feel free to shoot as many of them as you can. Jane: running I can do. Amy: dammit, I knew I should have taken gym class seriously. (Everybody fires a volley at the approaching Jaffa before turning and running. Jackson: did we hit any of them? Amy: I don't know, I didn't stop to ask. (Shots are continuing to fly past them.) (As they are running, one Jaffa almost catches up with Trent when he suddenly stops, whips around and emptied a clip into the Jaffa. He then continues to run while attempting to replace the clip.) (Daria and TIL'K are running at the back of the group now occasionally laying down cover fire. TIL'K who is thirty feet in front of daria suddenly stops, swivels around, drops to one knee and from darias pov appears to be leveling his weapon at her. She skids to a stop) Daria: (yelling) NO, TIL"K WAIT (TIL'K fires. The shot flies straight between her legs nailing the Jaffa behind her dead in the groin. The Jaffa falls to the ground, while TIL'K leaps past daria and finishes the Jaffa off. The both of them resume running occasionally turning to fire.) Daria: Thanks TIL'K but next time FREAKING WARN ME FIRST!!! (SG-1 and SG-3 return to the STARGATE with the Jaffa hot on their heels. As soon as the two teams pass the perimeter SG-12 begins to lay down cover fire. ) O'neal: (yells) Jackson dial us home!! (Daniel begins to dial out, but as he does so a glider appears from seemingly no where and begins to make strafing runs.) Amy: gee, you'd actually think they were pissed at us. Carter: you think? We only Just killed their deity. Amy: I was being sarcastic, you don't have to take it literally. (The glider strafes again) O'neal: This is wearing thin, Jesse hand me that missile your carrying. (Jesse hands it to him) (O'neal snaps it onto the pistol grip and inserts the battery) (when the glider begins it's next run O'neal locks onto it and fires but it is just out of range and the missile falls short.) O'neal: shit, everybody duck. (The glider fires and circles around for another run) ( in the meantime the Jaffa have reached the perimeter of the Stonehenge type structures at which point SG-12 begins to set off claymores. Suddenly the STARGATE opens and Carter begins to send the iris control code.) O'neal: okay people lets go home. SG-3 your first. ( they begin to go through) Til"k: the glider is closing in for another run. Daria: this guy is seriously beginning to piss me off. (Daria snatches the other stinger off Janes back readies it, locks up the glider, waits until the glider is almost on them and fires. The missile flies off and knocks the glider out of the sky. Daria: now that's how it's done (she drops the empty tube) Jane: You have to show me where your learning to do all this. Daria: My dad still has all his instruction manuals from when he went to military school. Jane: and you red all of them, why? Daria: remember after that thing with family court and I was penned up in the house for a month bored out of my skull. Jane : Damn, you must have been bored. O'neal: okay SG-12 go through we'll cover you. (Sg-1 takes up positions and begins firing. Amy with her new found staff weapon doesn't even bother to aim, she just shoots everything in front of her that moves.) (Trent while firing is hit in the shoulder and falls to the ground) (Daria and Jane begin running toward him) Daria and Jane: (yell) TRENT!! O'neal: SG-12 is through everybody else fall back through the STARGATE now. (TIL'K shoots the Jaffa about to finish off Trent. He then picks Trent up and carries him through the STARGATE followed by the rest of the team and then a few Jaffa) (After the team arrives through the STARGATE ) Carter: (yells) CLOSE THE GODDAMN IRIS!!! (the iris closes behind her and the thumps of the Jaffa following them are heard. Finally the STARGATE shuts down.) ( a medical team comes in bandages up Trent's shoulder and carts him off to the infirmary) ( The team gets cleaned up and is debriefed by general Hammond. After the debriefing Trent rejoin's the group and is addressed by General Hammond.) ( at the entrance to the mountain) Hammond: Before all of you return home I would remind you once again the constraints you are under. Amy : we saw nothing, we heard nothing, we remember nothing. We got the picture. Hammond: good. (Daria turns to Trent) Daria: How's the arm Trent? Trent: shoulder actually..it's okay, the doc. Says it's only a flesh wound and I can take the bandages off in about a week. Daria: cool, Guess it's a good thing that your parents are out of town. Trent: yea, mom would flip. Jane: or throw her old pottery at you. ( Trent snaps her a look that screams do you mind) Jane: (looks at Trent for a moment) I see. ( Jane walks away with a smile on her face) Amy: what's with those two? Jane: I'm waiting to see myself, but for now lets give them a few minutes of space. (Return to shot of Daria and Trent) Daria: what was that about? Trent: who knows.(smiles) Anyway I'm Glad we got Amy back. Daria: I don't think I'd be able to explain to my mom how her sister was abducted by snake people. (Both stop talking for a moment and just look at each other.) (In the background SG-1 looks on) Jackson: so what's up with them? TIL'K: do you not see it in their eyes? Jackson: see what? TIL'K: they are tak sho' (everyone looks at Jackson waiting for a translation) Jackson: soulmates O'neal : TIL'K how can you tell something like that? TIL'K: before we left on this mission I saw it in their eyes as I was issuing the weapons. Carter: Okay, well that's enough romance for me let's go back inside before I puke. (Return to shot of Daria and Trent) Trent: Listen Daria, there's something I'VE wanted to talk to you about for a long time and it seems that every time I try, something weird happens. This little adventure is a pretty good example. I'm not sure I can tell you, I'm afraid something else will happen. Daria: (thinks for a second) Okay is there a way to show me what you wanted to talk about?(not realizing how that sounded) Trent: (looks confused for a second) Ah the hell with it.(quickly leans forward and kisses her) Daria: (looks startled at first, her face turns a beat red. Then she calms down a little) Oh my god, I never thought you felt that way, I always thought you were oblivious to me. Trent: I was at first, until we went to alternapalooza and the tank broke down. Daria : I remember, we were stuck on the side of the road for hours. Trent: Yea, It was one of the best days of my life. I saw things in you that I had never seen in any of the other women I've met in my life. Daria: (blushing heavily) really Trent: seriously, I dream about you almost constantly now. How about you? Daria: (pauses to think) well there was one time this Past July . In that dreamed you said I was your muse. Trent: (looks astounded) You........heard that? Daria: What? Trent : I was writing a song that month and something you had said to me had inspired me and I actually remember saying out loud to myself Daria you're my muse. Daria: Now that's messed up. Trent: yea, isn't it great. Daria: but not as great as this. (Kisses Trent) (Voice from behind) Jane: I hate to interrupt you two love birds but our ride is getting impatient. (Daria walks to the car) (Jane smiles at Trent) (all get in the car) Jane: have fun? Trent: you'll never know. Jane: ooh la la Jesse: Hey Daria, what did you say to that TIL'K guy after the debriefing? Daria: I asked if I could get one of those staff weapons. I'd love to turn it on Quinn's room. Trent: what did he say? Daria: he said he doubted it would be possible ( the staff car leaves the base and begins to drive them all home) Jane: (looks at Amy) Amy, are you okay, you've been pretty quiet. Amy: I'm okay, I'm just real tired. Thanks for coming after me. darians's in unison: no problem. (The staff car drives to each of their houses and drops them off. Daria is finally the last to be dropped off) (Daria enters the front door of her house only to be seized by her mother and hugged vigorously.) Helen: THANK GOD YOUR HOME. I was going out of my mind. First there was a broadcast on t.v. about a terrorist incident at the museum and then you don't come home for two days. Where the hell where you? Daria: (thinks quickly) Um... I was held over to give a deposition of what happened.. Helen: for that long? Daria: well there where a lot of people and I was the last one they got to. Helen: you would think they would at least let you call home to say your all right? Daria: (to herself) if I were actually in the vicinity of a phone, maybe. (Outloud) um....I'm kind of tired. I think I'll head off to bed. Jake: sleep well kiddo. Helen: Jake for gods sake I'm trying to get some information here. (Daria heads upstairs while Jake and Helen are arguing) (Next morning) Jake: hey kiddo, a Package came for you. Daria: a package? (Jake hands a long package to daria) (daria opens it and reads a note reading " It has been an honor to serve with you") Daria: dad, did you see who dropped this off? Jake: yea, big dude with a weird tattoo on his forehead.. So Daria what is that? It looks like a walking stick. Daria: um.. Yea, um... pretty cool huh? (Daria takes it up to her room) Daria: ( now in her room snaps open the staff weapon) definitely a cool walking stick. (Daria gives her signature Mona Lisa smile) Roll ending credits......... You shook me all night long by ac/dc is heard in the background