There's Something Furry In Denmark


Daria sat on Jane's bed. She was staring disgustedly at the blank notebook. Her frustration began to show on her stoic face. Jane, hearing a long sigh, turned around.

"So how's the story coming? Or does it disturb you if I talk while your writing?"

"It would disturb me if I was actually doing any writing."

"What's the problem? Take the people you know and have them do whatever you want. I'd make them crawl I'll tell you. CRAWL!" Jane raises her fist into the air.

Make them crawl...hmmmmmm... Daria picked up her notebook and pencil and began writing.

---

Jane headed down the usual path for her nightly jog. She heard what she thought was a person screaming and several dogs growling. She decided to find out what was going on. As she approached the commotion, a hand reached behind her and covered her face.

Jane tried crawling out of the woods before collapsing. She woke up the next morning with the sun blaring in her face. She stood up and began walking home. She tried to recall what happened the night before. All she remembered was leaving for her run. She opened the door to Casa Lane and headed straight for the shower.

"Ouch!" She stared at the large scratch on her arm. "How in the hell did I get that?"

After a couple of hours, Jane heard a knock at the door. Once she realized Trent wasn't answering it, she headed downstairs. She opened the door to see Daria turning to leave.

"Wait up, Daria. Come in."

Daria entered and handed Jane the tapes. "My turn for bad movie night. I chose 'Krull' and 'Popcorn'." She looked over at Jane. "Are you okay?"

Jane tried her best to explain what happened the night before. She showed Daria the giant scratch. Daria examined it carefully. "Probably was one of the dogs. Have you had a rabies shot? I don't want you foaming at the mouth." Daria smirked.

Over the next couple of weeks, Jane noticed odd changes in her behavior. Her leg would start bouncing whenever she had an itch. She felt the urge not to use a spoon when eating something out of a bowl. If Trent played a high pitched note, she would have to cover her ears. She tried to block the strange occurances out of her mind.

One afternoon at lunch, Daria and Jane were walking through the line. As Daria picked up a plate, Jane stopped her.

"You might not want to eat that.. The meat inside the lasagna has gone bad.. really really bad."

"How can you tell?"

"I can smell it.. it reeks."

"Okay then." Daria sat the plate back down.

The next day, they were sitting in Mr. O'Neill's Engligh class when the door opened. Jane's eyes widened as she watched the new student take his seat. His grey eyes met her blues. She spent the rest of the class with her concentration shot. She didn't even hear Mr.O'Neill as he made his announcement.

"Now class, I had a wonderful idea. Instead of just reading Hamlet, why don't we put on the play?"

"Mr. O'Neill.. remember "The Canterbury Tales" fiasco? I don't think that putting on the play would be a good idea." Daria grumbled.

Mr. O'Neill shuddered. "Perhaps your right.. or better yet.. why don't we put one of you in charge. Daria.. you're going to direct it. You can even hold auditions."

"Auditions? Oh no.. I've got a better idea." Daria grabbed the skull off of Mr. O'Neill's desk. She then grabbed a sheet of paper and started tearing it. She stuffed the pieces of paper into the skull. "Okay all the guys need to grab a name from the skull."

She wrote down the names of the roles and who would be playing them.

"Since there are only two women roles that matter, I'm going to make it easy. "Brittany and Sandi both tried out for Canterbury Tales and didn't get it. So, Brittany.. you can be Ophelia and Sandi can be Gertrude, Hamlet's mom. Everyone else can be extras. Andrea.. you're in charge of lighting. Jane can be handle set design. Jane, hearing her name, snapped out of her daze. Jodie, I want you to get the seats full. Even if that means getting Ms. Li involved.

As the bell rang, Jane turned to Daria. "So, Ms. Director, what do you want the stage to look like?"

"Dark, gloomy.. you know.. just think of gym class."

"Can do.. sorry I wasn't paying attention.. who gets to play Hamlet."

"The new kid, Alexi.. I think he would be a good fit. I am worried though about some of the other parts."

"Really like who?"

"All of them but Horatio. Mack is playing him."

"Yikes."

"Oh it gets better... Upchuck gets to play Laertes. That should be an intersting duel scene."

"Sounds like it. Ok.. well I am going to work on set ideas. Later amiga."

"Later."

The rest of the week flew by. That Thursday, Daria was walking to school. Alexi was following her. As Alexi passed by one of her neighbors houses, their bulldog went ballistic. The noise startled Daria. The next morning, Daria found the animal dead.

Jane met Daria at school. Daria told her what happened. Daria checked out the set. She was impressed with Jane's work. Jane told her she had gotten most of her ideas from Alexi. It looked like it was ready for the dress rehearsal in front of the faculty being held that evening. Jodie had convinced Ms. Li to make going to the play mandatory by telling her she could use the funds to install the inner locker security cameras.

Quinn went up to Daria. "I still can't believe you gave Sandi the role of Gertrude instead of me. That should have been my part."

"I'm surprised you're not griping about not being Ophelia."

"Ewww. She drowns.. I hate getting my hair wet without a dryer nearby."

"You'll get over it. Besides, you're Sandi's understudy. If she can't go on opening night, it's all yours. Just make sure you get all the props ready for tonight's rehearsal."

An evil look came over Quinn's face. They will be ready. Especially the drinks at the end. Quinn headed for the science room.

That night, the faculty gathered in the auditorium. Daria looked at the "costumes" the cast was wearing. She stared at Jane very perplexed.

"Umm Jane.. why is everyone dressed up like werewolves?"

"It was Alexi's idea. Sandi and Brittany agreed with him. Kinda our own spin on the play."

"Okay. Ummm.. I like it?" Something really is rotten in the state of Denmark. "I just hope Mr. O'Neill doesn't wig out." She turned to the stage. "Allright then... is everyone ready? Andrea.. Lights."

As they began to go through the play. Everything was going smoothly until the scene where Kevin's character, Polonius is killed. Mr. DeMartino starts clapping. After Hamlet "kills' him in front of Gertrude, the stage goes dark. Daria could swear she heard the sounds of a body being dragged off and chewing and growling. She heads backstage. She sees Alexi and Sandi wiping off their mouths.

"Where's Kevin?"

"He's busy with Brittany. Don't worry. She will be ready for her next scene." Alexi replied.

The play continued. Then came Ophelia's death scene. Granted it was just a kiddie pool. As the set was shifted, Brittany went to get out of the water. Sandi was waiting for her.

"Now that your precious Kevvie is dead, I figured you would want to join him. I am going to be Alexi's chosen one." Sandi held Brittany's head under the water until she drowned.

Jamie and Jeffy, who played Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were next on the menu. She heard the exact same noises. Daria quickly put two and two together. Great.. just what I need..actual werewolves on stage. In between acts, Daria pulls Upchuck over to the side. She shakes her head at what she is about to say.

"Look.. when it comes to the fight scene, I need you to actually cut Alexi."

"But the swords aren't real.. are they?"

"Umm... let me worry about that.. just make sure you draw blood. If you pull this off..I'll even go out on a date with you."

"RRRRRRRRRRR fiesty. Consider it done Ms. Director."

Daria grabbed his "sword" and took off with it. She saw Quinn pouring the drinks for the ending fight scene. She saw Quinn put something in Sandi's cup. "What are you doing?"

"Well you said if she couldn't perform that I would. So I took some of the leaves of that plant in the science room and I figure it will at least give her an upset stomach."

"The plant with the purple flowers?"

"Yeah.. why?"

Daria began to sharpen the plastic sword so that it would cut skin. "Quinn, stir that really good then pour some of it on this." Quinn nodded.

Daria returned and handed the sword to Upchuck. "Don't misplace this."

She headed back out into the audience. Jane looked over at her nervously.

"Is everything okay?"

"No.. you haven't been feeling weird or anything tonight have you?"

"Not really."

"Good. Cuase I just realized you weren't attacked by a dog. You were scratched by a werewolf or someone in the middle of the transformation. That is why you haven't changed yet."

Jane looked at her. "You're serious aren't you."

"Yep."

Daria got up and pulled Mr.O'Neill to the side. "Look we have a huge problem."

"Why do you say that? I think the play is going great. I even like the costume idea."

"Umm.. Some of those costumes are real."

"What do you mean?"

"I think that Alexi and Sandi are werewolves."

Mr.O'Neill ran out of the auditorium. Good move Morgendorffer. Daria returned to her seat. This is going to look really good on my college application.

Then came the final act. Daria watched Upchuck carrying his sword. He at least remembered to grab the right one. First though, Gertrude had to go down. Daria cringed as she watched Sandi pick up the cup. Sandi began to writhe in agony on the stage then she collapsed. The faculty was impressed with the death scene. Then came the big fight scene between Hamlet and Laertes. As the "duel" started, Upchuck made his move. He ran his sword across Alexi's arm. He was able to barely break the skin, but it was enough. With the wolfsbane running through his system, he to began to writhe on the stage. Finally he collapsed. After the last words were uttered, the curtains were drawn. The faculty stood up and gave a standing ovation.

---

Daria put her pencil and notebook down. She reread the story. Better not show this one to Mr. O'Neill. As she went to crumple it up, she hesitated. I might send this one to Musings. She folded the pages up and placed them in her bookbag. She headed home and began to write another story.

A couple of days later, Daria and Jane are walking to school.

"So, do you think someday I can read your story?"

"No.. but you can read the one where you almost get turned into a werewolf."

"WHAT!"