"Them's The Breaks: Part 2" By NuitCouer - NuitCoeur@aol.com; http://members.xoom.com/DegaStreet and Melissa - w_lorraine@mailcity.com; assilem_@hotmail.com (Black screen background is shown for a few moments. Suddenly, two unidentified girls walk onstage; one dressed in regular blue jeans and a comfy grey hooded sweat shirt, wearing glasses and has long straight light brown hair. The other is dressed in black jeans and a plain black tee shirt, with long curly darker brown hair and stands a bit taller than the other girl. Both girls say nothing at first, then smirk simotaneously in pride.) FIRST GIRL: I bet you guys are pretty ticked that we held off the second part of this for so long, aren'tcha? SECOND GIRL: Yeah, I bet you all are wondering what we're doing here too, huh? I mean, first we go and leave you hanging while Quinn is crying her pretty little mascara running eyes out at Daria's hospital bed with no real inclination to what's going to happen to the lead character and now here's the second half where everything is revealed and you get us, standing here, wasting your precious time. FIRST GIRL: You are so overdramatic. SECOND GIRL: It's for effect! Sheesh. Fine, then maybe we should just throw the entire grand finale at them? FIRST GIRL: Nah, we want them to suffer. (both smirk) Well, now that we're here and all, we should prolly tell you guys what happened *last* time so you'll know what the hell's going on. SECOND GIRL: Really. It's been months since you first read the story, hasn't it? Well, when you finish this at 3am tonight you'll see exactly *why* it took us so long. Oh, and there was that little *ahem* problem. (glances at the first girl sternly) FIRST GIRL: Shut up, I don't wanna hear it! SECOND GIRL: (smirks) I didn't say anything... but I suppose I should. Well, let's see... (backflashy thing shows silent scenes of the last fic, starting with Brittany and Kevin at the party. Brittany slaps Kevin and he walks out of the closet, rubbing his cheeck.) SECOND GIRL: (VO) Brittany throws this huge party, and guess what? Kevin gets drunk! FIRST GIRL: (VO) There's a big surprise. Anyway, so Brittany kicks him out and everyone cheers for Brittany's power to stand up for her morals! Wouldn't want Kevin to be taken advantage of, would she? (Next scene shows Kevin being stopped by Mack, then getting mad and driving off.) SECOND GIRL: (VO) Course not. Now Mack tries to do the right thing and stop Kevvie before he goes and hurts someone. (smirks) FIRST GIRL: (VO) 'Tries' is word you want to emphasize there, people. Well, to make a long story short, because we all know that's what you guys want... (Scene shows Kevin hitting Jane by the edge of the bumper, causing her to fly off into the street, and running Daria over completely.) FIRST GIRL: (VO) Kevin hurts someone. A couple of someone's actually. SECOND GIRL: (VO) Namely, Daria and Jane. Ms. Defoe gets them to the hospital in time, thankly. FIRST GIRL: (VO) You guys can breath now. Anyways, the rest is just basically everyone getting used to Daria and Jane being hurt and going through their own little tramas. Fun, isn't it? (Shot goes back to the two girls standing behind the black screen.) SECOND GIRL: Isn't it amazing how we can drag this plot into a 50+ page story? Well, without any further stalling... FIRST GIRL: No more stalling? SECOND GIRL: Nope, no more stalling. (Both pause.) SECOND GIRL: Okay, that's all. We give you: BOTH GIRLS: "Them's The Breaks: Part 2"!! FIRST GIRL: Hey, we agreed that I'd get to say it. SECOND GIRL: No, we agreed that I'd say it! FIRST GIRL: Nuh uh! SECOND GIRL: Yuh huh! BOTH: Bitch! (Both look at each other and giggle like little girls.) SECOND GIRL: **GO ALREADY!!** (Scene fades out and fades back into: SCENE 21: (A few days after the whole crying mess in the hospital room. A few people are still sitting in Daria's room, waiting, and weeping. Mack, Jane, Trent, Amy, Helen, Jake, Quinn, Stacy, and Amanda are all either sitting or pacing, or standing. Amy and Amanda are trying to have somewhat of a conversation, while Jane and Trent are still watching Daria, neither of them speaking, and crying off and on. Mack is sitting by himself in a corner, and Stacy is beside Quinn, who is standing her ground at the side of Daria's bed. Helen and Jake are still sitting beside each other opposite Quinn.) AMANDA: This is all a little heartbreaking. I never actually KNEW Daria, but Jane can never stop talking about her when I'm home. I just don't know how Jane and Trent will get over this, if it takes a turn for the worse. AMY: I know what you mean. All the emotion in this room is about to drive me crazy. I never knew Quinn felt so strongly toward her, either. AMANDA: Quinn? AMY: Her sister. They're total opposites, but it really takes a crisis for them to get along. Who I'm really worried about, is that boy in the corner. He's been here almost as much as Jane and Trent, and he doesn't say much unless those other girls are here. AMANDA: I see. (The door suddenly flys open and Mrs. Thompson walks in, looking a little perky. Too perky. She looks around at the miserable group of people and stops smiling.) HELEN: (sniffs) Who are you? MRS. THOMPSON: I'm Mrs. Thompson, Kevin's mother. He asked me to check up on the girls. He said he's real sorry, and he'd never want them to get hurt. (Jane gets a pissed off look on her face and clenches her teeth.) JANE: Kevin?! You mean that goddamn bastard?! I never want to hear that fucking name again! (high pitched screaming) Tell him that I want him to rot in hell where he belongs! The fucking MURDERER!!! (Mrs. Thompson gets a hurt look on her face and covers her mouth with herhand in horror. Trent embrasses his sobbing sister, and hugs her fiercly. She burries her head in his shoulder, while everyone watches her.) MACK: I think you'd better leave, ma'am. MRS. THOMPSON: I'm sorry. Did I come at a bad time? SCENE 22: (Helen is sitting at a lawyers bench, with Jake and Quinn. Around her is a courtroom full of friends, and classmates. Down one bench is a sobbing Mr. O'Neill, being comforted by Ms. Defoe. Ms. Barch next to Ms. Defoe, obviously there to see a Kevin "get what's coming to him." Upchuck, Andrea, Jodie, Mack, Amanda, Amy, Brittany, and Stacy sitting on a couple other benches behind the Morgendorffers. Kevin is sitting next to a lawyer across the room from the Morgendorffers; behind him is his mother and father, with other assorted family members of his. The jury files into their places and sits down. A man on the end stands.) JUDGE: Has the jury come to a decision? MAN: Yes, your honor. We the jury, find the defendant, Mr. Thompson, guilty of criminal negligance. (Everyone on the Morgendorffer's side of the room cheers, and hugs are shared. Helen and Jake smile, while Quinn shares a self satisfying smirk with herself.) JUDGE: Case dismissed. Bailiff, take him away. Court is now adjourned. (The police officer takes Kevin away in hand cuffs, while his mother starts bawling. Helen and Jake stand, then hug. Everyone stands and exits the courtroom, expcept Kevin's family, which have stayed to pay their respects to Mr. and Mrs. Thompson.) SCENE 23: (Ted's room, inside the DeWitt-Clinton house. He is sitting on his wood-and-wool bed, staring a picture in his hand. The picture is a black-and-white version of Daria's school photo, like the ones used in the yearbook. Ted is sniffling. Slowly walks over to his desk and sets the picture in front of him. He sits and begins writing.) TED: (writing) Daria was really nice to me, the first one at Lawndale High to really talk to me, and the first girl who ever liked me. But I left her for the popular crowd, which is actually hollow and without depth. Twenty-twenty hindsight. And now, I'll never be able to tell her that I was wrong, that I still care for her, that I'm sorry. (Ted looks for long moment at the picture of Daria. He doesn't look so much sad as dispairing, lacking any sort of hope.) TED: (continuing writing) The world is nothing like what my parents taught me. It's a bad place. Daria knew that. Maybe she could've helped me understand how to cope. There's no real chance of that now. This accident really opened my eyes to how hopeless and awful and just plain *wrong* things are in the world. This is all I have left. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone. Ted DeWitt-Clinton. (On Ted's windowsill is a rather large herb garden. He walks over to it and cuts off a piece of a flowering plant: foxglove.) (Several minutes later. Atop Ted's desk, the foxglove plant has been dessicated. Ted is stiring something into a glass of water. He stares at the glass for some time. Then he stands straight, as if steeling himself, and downs the glass in one glup. He then turns off the light, picks up the note and picture of Daria, and sits on his bed. He clutches the two bits of paper to him as he lies back.) SCENE 24: (Daria and Jane's hospital room, around seven a.m. Amy, Quinn, and Trent are all dozing in the horribly uncomfortable visitors' chairs. Jane is alseep, though she is tossing and turning fitfully. Helen and Jake, exausted from the trial, are getting some sleep at their home. Mack runs in, brandishing a newspaper.) MACK: Hey! (sees that everyone's alseep; to himself) Oops. (Jane is the only one who wakes at this brief noise.) JANE: (rubs her eyes) Mack? What time is it? MACK: It's about seven. I came before school. JANE: What's so important? MACK: This is. (hands her the paper) Ted DeWitt-Clinton *killed* himself last night. Got ahold of a lot of digitalis or something. JANE: God! They've printed the suicide note? (These exclaimations rouse the others, who sleepily look at Mack and Jane.) MACK: Yeah. Seems there was a journalist tagging along with the cops who investigated. (Jane reads the article, and grows increasingly more astonished.) TRENT: What's up, Janey? JANE: This guy Ted killed himself last night, and said in his suicide note that it was Daria's condition that finalized his decision. (Trent, Amy, and Quinn all make noises of surprise. Amy rises and takes the paper from Jane. She scans the article.) AMY: It's sad. He couldn't cope, so he ran away - from *everything*. (Everyone nods a little, mostly to themselves.) MACK: I've got to get to school. I just thought you'd want to know this. JANE: (sadly) Yeah. (Mack exits, leaving the sombre occupants of the room to themselves and their own thoughts.) SCENE 25: (Lawndale High School. As Mr. O'Neill enters his classroom, he notices very few students actually showed up for class. He frowns and looks straight to Jodie.) MR. O'NEILL: Where is everyone? JODIE: Well, after yesterday, Michael wanted to stay in the hospital with Jane and her brother. Daria still hasn't woken up. Kevin's in jail, and Brittany is at home, crying. Ted committed suicide, and his friends are staying home today because of it. (Mr. O'Neill blinks a few times, then puts his head in his hands and cries at the bad news. Jodie sighs, then slumps over her desk and puts her head on her desk, thinking of it all, and how little she actually supported those who are suffering. Suddenly, she gets an idea.) JODIE: Mr. O'Neill? Could I suggest something for class today? MR. O'NEILL: (refrains from crying for a second; sniffs) Um, yes? JODIE: Could we make cards for Ted and Kevin's family, and maybe visit Daria and Jane at the hospital tomorrow? MR. O'NEILL: (brightens a little) That's a wonderful class activity! Making the best of a bad situation. Would you like to go get permission slips for the whole class? JODIE: Okay. SCENE 26: (Jane is sitting in a wheelchair next to Daria's bed. She now sports a black cast on her right leg. Quinn is sitting in a chair beside her, and Trent has gone home to turn all the raw emotion into a song. Mack is sitting on the other side of Jane, hanging his head in sorrow, and holding Jane's hand. The soft beeping of the heart monitor is the only noise in the entire room. Mr. O'Neill walks into the room, getting the attention of Jane, who alerts the other two. His class soon files in slowly, filling the room.) MR. O'NEILL: Oh dear. JODIE: We came by to show our support. We thought you guys might be a little lonely. (smiles nicely) JANE: (smiles slightly) Thanks everyone. QUINN: (a little cheery) She moved this morning. I felt her squeeze my hand. JODIE: That's great. MR. O'NEILL: Oh Jane, your leg. JANE: Yeah, hurts like a bitch. But I'll live as long as she does. (motions to Daria, then smiles) (Mack hangs his head again, after flashing a half attempted smile. Jodie walks to his side and puts a hand on his shoulder. He looks up and smiles. She hugs him, half knowingingly he needed it. A few minutes go by, and soon, the class has to leave to make it back to the school on time. Before Mr. O'Neill leaves, he glances back in the room, looking at the trio.) MR. O'NEILL: I'll pray for her. JANE: Thanks, Mr. O'Neill. Thanks a lot. (He then leaves, feeling like he helped at least a little.) SCENE 27: (A cell in the juvenille detention centre, late afternoon. Kevin is sitting on a bench much like the one in the cell at the police station in which he was held earlier. He has a three-year pocket calender in his hand and is turning through the pages. One month, two months, three months, and on the last day of the fourth month, "released" is written in red ink. He again turns the page. The first Monday of the fifth month has "begin social service." Six months, seven months, eight-nine-ten, all sprinkled with "check in with parole officer." A year later, next Christmas, Valentine's, Saint Patrick's, Easter, all tainted by red ink. Almost three years later, the calender reads "Free" in blue ink. Kevin stares dismally at the distant date on the calender. The date, of course, remains immutable. With a sigh, Kevin sets the calender aside.) SCENE 28: (Jane and Daria's hospital room, around three a.m., the morning before Jane will be checked out of the hospital. Quinn and Trent, like sibling fixtures, are in chairs next to their respective sisters. Trent is dozing; Quinn seems to have developed a case of insomnia and with obvious melancholy is watching her sister. Next to Quinn sits Jake, snoring softly. Quinn looks incredibly weary,and much older than she did before the accident. She rubs her eyes, then lets her head rest in her hand for a moment. Because of this, she does not notice that Daria stirs slightly.) DARIA: (waking) Uooohhh... (Quinn quickly looks up at the soft noise, to see Daria sleepily blink her eyes. Daria blinks at Quinn, able to tell that it is her sister even without her glasses on.) QUINN: (loudly and joyfully) Daria! You're awake! DARIA: (somewhat weak but with her usual tone) Quinn. You're yelling. (And Quinn's yelling rouses the others in the room. Jake awake with a sort-of snort; Jane starts; and Trent first barely opens his eyes, then is suddenly wide awake when he sees and hears Daria. Everyone rises and crowds around Daria.) JAKE: You're all right! Thank God. DARIA: I *will* be all right if I can get some asprin. JAKE: I'll go get the nurse. And call you mother; she's been so worried. DARIA: (a little confused by the gushing) Uh...okay... JANE: We didn't know if you were ever gonna wake up. DARIA: Huh? QUINN: You got run over. DARIA: ....I remember that. (looks at Jane) Are *you* okay? TRENT: Janey's doing really good. You saved her, Daria. (heart-felt) Thank you. (Daria blinks at him.) QUINN: An' you were in a coma. DARIA: A coma? For how long? JANE: Almost two weeks. DARIA: Two *weeks*? JANE: Hey, it coulda been two *years*. Dr. Phillips said that they couldn't tell when or *if* you would come out of the coma. (wryly) And of course you choose three a.m. DARIA: Anything earth-shattering happen while I was unconcious? JANE: Kevin was convicted for running us over. QUINN: That guy...Ted?...killed himself. DARIA: *Kevin* ran us over? Ted *killed* himself? TRENT: See? You leave us alone and we screw up. We're glad you're awake, Daria. (pause) *I*'m glad. JANE: Yeah. What would I do without my partner in crime? (Daria seems a little overwhelmed - emotion is not something with which she's comfortable. Quinn takes her sister's hand her her own, promting a confused look from Daria.) QUINN: Daria? I...I'm really glad you're okay, too. (softly) And I'm sorry. DARIA: (confused) Sorry? For what? QUINN: I'm just...sorry. (Daria looks quizzically at her sister, but no explaination is forthcoming. Quinn simply keeps her death-grip on Daria's hand.) SCENE 29: (Helen pushes through the hospital doors, running to the elevator to her daughter's room. She presses the button, but while waiting, gets impatient and runs to the staircase. Reaching the top, she slams open the door and runs to Daria's hospital room. The door is open, and the light is on inside. Tears well up and she bursts in the room, crying like a baby.) HELEN: Daria, sweetie! (Daria looks up at her mother and her eyes widen in astonishment from her mother's outpour of emotion. A nurse is taking her blood pressure, and the doctor on call is going over her medical information. Helen pushes past them and embraces her daughter.) DARIA: Stop! Stop! I'm okay! HELEN: I know. That's why I'm so happy. DARIA: What is it with all you happiness freaks? Even you, Jane. JANE: What'd ya know. People actually care you live. DARIA: That's what scares me. Esspecially when one of those people is Quinn. QUINN: You're my sister. DARIA: So now you want to admit it. JAKE: We're just glad you're gonna be all right, kiddo. HELEN: She is gonna be all right, right? DOCTOR: From what I've read, yes. All her conditions are temporary at this point. She should be back on her feet and good as new in about two weeks. In fact, she can leave the hospital within a few days, but some rest is definately required after that. HELEN: Of course. I don't know who I'd get to watch over you for a few days though. JANE: Trent'll be happy to do it! DARIA: Uh, that's okay. I don't want to impose. TRENT: Sounds fine to me. Call it pay back for saving my kid sister. JANE: I have a name! DARIA: Right. Trent's sister. (smirks) SCENE 30: (Jodie walks to a gloomy Mack in English class the next day, beaming.) JODIE: Michael, good news! Daria woke up last night! She's going to be okay! MACK: (brightens considerably) Really? That's great news! Let's visit her after school today. JODIE: Okay. Are you still feeling guilty about all this mess? MACK: Yeah. If I had pulled Kevin out of that damn jeep, he'd be in class, and Daria wouldn't even be in the hospital to begin with. JODIE: You can't carry the weight of this on your shoulders forever, Michael. Let's go get passes to see her now. I have connections in the main office. MACK: Since when? JODIE: Since it's none of your business. All information is strictly confidential. I can't reveal my sources. (Mack gives her a funny look, then returns to normal and follows her out the door, excitedly.) SCENE 31: (Lawndale High, a little while after Jodie and Mack's departure. Quinn and Stacy are exiting Mr. O'Neill's class.) MR. O'NEILL: I'm so glad you've come back to school, Quinn. QUINN: (muted) I couldn't come until my sister woke up. (Mr. O'Neill nods. Stacy puts a supportive hand on Quinn's shoulder, and Quinn looks at her friend gratefully. Even a cursory glance reveals that Quinn seems different. There is a look of weariness on her face that has not been totally effaced by Daria awakening. The dark circles under her eyes are still visible through her make-up, which is not as meticulously applied as it had been before Daria's accident. To use Quinn's own phrase, it seems as if Quinn has ceased "bouncing from the inside"; her expression is sombre and she looks as if she's aged years in the past three weeks.) (The two girls do what they always do during the breaks in-between classes: they go to the restroom. Stacy touches up her powder, but Quinn simply stares at her reflection, as if surprised to see such a melancholy being staring back at her.) STACY: (with genuine concern) Quinn, are you okay? QUINN: (shrugs) I'm...better. (The "but not okay" is left unsaid, but Stacy seems to hear it.) STACY: Do you want me to come with you to the hospital after school today? (Quinn nods, grateful for a friend that stands by her.) STACY: How's your sister doing? QUINN: (brightens a little) Lots better. She, like, will have to use a wheelchair for a while 'cos she broke both her legs and stuff, but she's gonna come home in a few days! An', in just a month or something, she'll get one of those casts you can walk in. (The bathroom door opens and Sandi and Tiffany walk in. Quinn and Stacy do not cease their conversation.) STACY: Wow, cool! Don't those cast things come in cute colors? QUINN: I dunno. But if they do, maybe I can get Daria to get a green one. She likes green. STACY: Green is cute. SANDI: But, like, *so* out this season. (Quinn's countenace becomes as melancholy as before.) STACY: I thought green was one of those colors you could *always* wear. TIFFANY: You *thought*? That's *funny*. (Stacy looks hurt. A spark of anger flashes in Quinn's eyes.) SANDI: God, Quinn, you look *awful*. TIFFANY: Really, *really* bad. Couldn't you cover those dark circles with concealer or something? SANDI: You've both, like, missed the last Fashion Club meeting. Maybe you want to start your own club or something. (Stacy is bewildered. Quinn is really getting pissed off.) TIFFANY: And *I* heard that that girl that got run over isn't your cousin, she's your sister. (Quinn explodes.) QUINN: She *is* my sister, damnit, and I'm *proud* of her! (The other three are taken aback for a moment. Sandi is the first to recover.) SANDI: You're *proud* of that fashion disaster? TIFFANY: Isn't she a brain? STACY: God, she's at Quinn's house almost every time we meet there and you don't even know she's smart? (Sandi glares at Stacy, who cowers behind Quinn.) QUINN: Yes, I'm proud of her. She, like, does whatever she likes and says "screw everything else." TIFFANY: (shocked) You're proud of *that*? STACY: (timidy) Why are you picking on her? She's had a tough time. SANDI: *Shut up*, Stacy! (Stacy looks like she's about to comply...then something seems to snap. It's felt by everyone in the bathroom, and they stare at Stacy.) STACY: I will not shut up! You're always so mean, Sandi. Not like Quinn; she's nice to me a lot. And Tiffany - you just say whatever will make a person like you, even if it's totally different from what you think! I can't believe I've hung out with you two for eleven years. Well, it stops now: I quit the Fashion Club. (Quinn looks at Stacy proudly. Sandi and Tiffany are dumbstruck; they never thought quiet, timid Stacy able to say such things.) QUINN: I quit, too. You know, Sandi, that was really a good idea. Me and Stacy'll start our own club. One that isn't, like, shallow and stuff. (Sandi sputters but cannot say anything. Tiffany is still dumbstruck. Quinn grabs Stacy's hand and smiles widely at her. The two emancipated girls exit the bathroom, leaving the other two staring after them.) SCENE 32: (A little while after the previous scene, in the halls of Lawndale High. A blonde and a brunette are leaning against some lockers, chatting.) BLONDE: Really? BRUNETTE: Oh, yeah. It's all over school. Quinn is starting this really cool club. They're gonna stay fashion-concious and stuff, but they're also gonna, like, form study groups and do volunteer work and stuff. BLONDE: Wow! That is *so* cool. You think we could get in? BRUNETTE: I hope so. Every girl in school wants to join. And they've already filled three officer positions. BLONDE: How'd you find *that* out? BRUNETTE: From Kara, who heard it from Mike, who heard it from Jeffy, who was listening to Quinn talk to Stacy. BLONDE: What positions? By who? BRUNETTE: Quinn's president. BLONDE: Of course. BRUNETTE: Stacy's vice-president. BLONDE: What's the other position? BRUNETTE: I don't know the name, but Joey told Brooke who told Steffan who told Elana who told *me* that Quinn's gonna ask her sister. BLONDE: But whatever happened to the Fashion Club? BRUNETTE: Who? BLONDE: Nevermind. (Andrea tromps up to her locker. The blonde is leaning against it.) ANDREA: Get the hell off my locker. (The blonde starts. She and the brunette quickly leave, casting several nervous glances back at Andrea.) ANDREA: Stupid bimbos. (Andrea opens her locker and starts pulling out one book, putting up another, and such. She closes her locker, then looks to the side, almost as if expecting to see Daria at her nearby locker. Andrea's eyes narrow slightly. She then heads off to the parking lot, having decided to skip class to go visit Daria.) SCENE 33: (Andrea walks into the hospital room and up to the side of the bed, opposite Jane and a sleeping Trent. Jane watches her for a few seconds, until Andrea looks at her. Daria is napping.) JANE: Andrea? ANDREA: Hey. JANE: Um, hey. Aren't you suppose to be in class? ANDREA: Didn't feel like it. JANE: Okay. ANDREA: How's she doing? JANE: Pretty good. I considered going home and resting. But who would she wake up to if I did? And I didn't feel like having to deal with Trent for over an entire day by myself. (Andrea says nothing, but looks back down at Daria. She sits down in a chair beside the wall and stares at the wall behind Jane and Trent. Jane awkwardly looks at Andrea for a minute, then takes out a pad of drawing paper and sketches something.) SCENE 34: (Approximately thirty minutes later. Jodie and Mack have arrived and have been talking quietly to Jane. Trent, now awake, listens to the conversation as he watches Daria. Andrea has moved her chair closer to Daria and is staring into space, deep in thought. Daria is still napping.) JANE: (to Mack) So have you given up this guilt thing now that you know everything's gonna be fine? MACK: I guess so. I mean, I still feel bad, but... JODIE: Not like Atlas? (Mack nods.) JODIE: When are you coming back to school, Jane? JANE: Soon. Now that I've got this *lovely* cast I can walk in (taps her cast) I'll be able to maneuver the halls of Lawndale High. Provided I don't have to do so at passing period. I'd get trampled. (Jodie and Mack share their infamous "that's-true-but-I-wish-it-weren't" look.) JANE: I think I'll paint my cast. Something cheerful. Like Kevin's mangled corpse. (Daria opens her eyes and sits up.) DARIA: (grabbing her glasses from off the nearby table) Did someone mention a corpse? (puts her glasses on) JANE: Shoulda know that cheery thought would bring you back from dreamland. (Daria glances around the room. She's a bit surprised to see Jodie and Mack, as the clock on the wall reads 1:13. She's very surprised to see Andrea.) DARIA: Andrea? ANDREA: Yeah. You feeling better, Daria? DARIA: Uh, I guess so, in that I'm awake to feel anything *at all*. (A waaaaay too perky nurse brandishing a hypodermic enters.) DARIA: Including annoyance. PERKY NURSE: Time for your antibiotic! This will be the last one! DARIA: (under her breath) She sounds so proud, like she did that for me all herself. (Trent, who was close enough to overhear Daria's remark, chuckles but quickly covers it by coughing.) ANDREA: Turn that down, damnit. There are people trying to recover in here, and they *don't* need you raising their bloodsugar. (The nurse looks scandalized. Jodie and Mack looked startled, but more from hearing Andrea speak than from what she said. Jane, Trent, and even Daria attempt to surpress chuckles. The nurse quickly and wordlessly gives Daria her shot and leaves.) DARIA: (to Andrea) Thank you. I wasn't sure how much sacchrine my system could handle. ANDREA: (almost smiling) No problem. SCENE 35: (Lawndale High, the next day. A series of shots establishes what happens during the school day: (Jane is helped into the school by Trent, who quickly leaves as soon as she's entered; (Jodie and Mack are talking between classes. Mack looks infinitely better; (Quinn and Stacy are surrounded by a group of sychophants wanting to join the new club; (Jodie is attempting to keep Jane from getting trampled during passing period, with minimal success; (Mack is sitting in Ms. Barch's class, looking at the empty seats where Kevin and Daria used to sit; (Andrea yelling for people to get out of Jane's way, and succeeding in clearing a path from Jane; (And Amanda Lane helping her daughter into a car.) SCENE 36: (The next day, late afternoon, in Daria's hospital room. Jake, Helen, and Quinn are listening to Dr. Phillips. Daria is affecting disinterest.) DR. PHILLIPS: She shouldn't be left alone for any long period of time. (Daria scowls at this.) DR. PHILLIPS: As I've said, head injuries are tricky things. There may yet be consequences of the accident that we've been unable to assess. QUINN: (blankly) Huh? DARIA: My brain may resemble a scrambled egg, but they can't tell. DR. PHILLIP: (looking at Daria) Well...yes. DARIA: Well, I'm not suddenly dislexyic, I can write my name, and I remember everyone who I've seen since I woke up. What's left? DR. PHILLIPS: There are several neurological diseases that can develop from head injuries like yours, including epilepsy. (Daria pales slightly.) HELEN: Epilepsy? Isn't that the disease that causes seizures? DR. PHILLIPS: (nods) But once diagnosed, it can be treated. Most neurological disorders can be nowadays. Anyway, things look good. As far as we can tell, there's no chemical imbalance. I honestly don't believe there's anything to worry about. This is just saftey precautions. Will someone be able to watch her for the next week or so? HELEN: (studying her shoes) There's.. I mean, we can't.. well, both Jake and I have to work. Jen's brother- DARIA: Jane, Mom. And his name is Trent. HELEN: -well, Trent has agreed to take care of her when neither Jake nor I can. (looks up) That will be enough, won't it? I'm certain my sister Amy could stay in town a few more weeks... DR. PHILLIPS: I'm sure it will be enough, Mrs. Morgendorffer. DARIA: (thought VO) Assuming Trent is able to stay awake. (The perky nurse enters. She sees Daria and looks nervous.) PERKY NURSE: (quickly) The paperwork's all done, you can go now. (Daria smirks at the nurse's nervousness. Oddly, Quinn does too.) SCENE 37: (Later that day. Helen pulls the car to a stop, gently, and gets out. Daria, Quinn, and Jake are in the car with her. All are smiling happily, except Daria, who has on her usual expressionless facade. Jake and Quinn get out; Jake walks to the trunk and helps Helen get out the wheelchair and assemble it. Quinn helps her sister out of the car and into it, then pushes her to the door. The entire time, Daria looks at her family, obviously a little uneasy from all the extra attention.) DARIA: Quinn, you still haven't given me a reason for your sisterly compassion. QUINN: I had a change of heart. DARIA: Oh. Um, what kind of a change? QUINN: One of those Brady Bunch, happy 50's family ones. BOTH: Yuck. DARIA: (raising an eyebrow at the similar reaction) Weird. HELEN: I, for one, am very happy to see you two getting along. BOTH GIRLS: Yeah, whatever. JAKE: Yeah, it's great! HELEN: Daria, we're so sorry that we couldn't stay home during the weekdays to take care of you. DARIA: That's okay, Mom. Work comes before family. HELEN: Daria, please stop it. I already feel guilty about the whole thing. DARIA: I know. QUINN: (trying to get everyone cheerful again) Guess what? The club Stacy and I made already has, like, forty members. We're thinking of branching it out a little. You know, make it two or maybe even three clubs with positions and everything. DARIA: Whatever happened to the Fashion Club? QUINN: Um, last I heard, Sandi got one other girl to make up the difference. Some foreign exchange student that can't speak English and sews her own clothes. They're trying to do some fundraising and give her a makeover or something. I didn't feel like paying attention to Tiffany after that while she was sucking up *again*. DARIA: So the world is back off its orbit. QUINN: Basically. (Both girls smirk at the joke. Quinn wheels Daria to the living room and turns on the TV to Sick Sad World. They both watch it, side by side, like zombies.) SCENE 38: (Helen and Jake are sitting in the living room with Daria asleep upstairs. Quinn has already left for school, and the pair of overwhelmed parents are awaiting Trent. A knock at the door announces his arrival, and both Helen and Jake jump to get the door.) HELEN: Oh good, you're here. TRENT: Sorry it took me so long. I had to take Janey to school and help her to the door. HELEN: That's very nice of you. JAKE: Yeah! HELEN: I can't thank you enough for helping us with this. TRENT: It's okay. JAKE: I've got a business meeting in...(checks his watch) Oh my god! (runs past Trent and gets in his car, speeding off) (Helen sighs and shakes her head.) HELEN: We should be back around five thirty. Oh, and the doctor said she shouldn't be left alone for very long, so she should come downstairs after she wakes up. If it's not too much trouble. TRENT: Nah. I can handle that. HELEN: Great. Have fun! Daria knows where everything is, so ask her if you need anything. Bye! (walks past him and into her car. Trent steps inside the house and closes the door.) SCENE 39: (Daria slowly opens her eyes, then sits up slightly. She puts on her glasses and looks at the alarm clock. It reads 10:06.) DARIA: Wha? Oh yeah. That means...oh no. (Trent knocks on her bedroom door and opens it slightly.) TRENT: Daria? DARIA: Hmm? TRENT: (opening it all the way) Cool, you're up. DARIA: Frigid. TRENT: Your mom said you had to come downstairs after you woke up. Something about not being left alone for long. DARIA: Oh. Um, how? TRENT: How what? DARIA: How am I going to get downstairs? I can't walk yet. TRENT: How did you get upstairs? (A picture of Quinn helping her up the stairs and to her bed flashes, memory style. Daria's eyes widen and she frowns.) SCENE 40: (Seconds later. Trent looks at Daria expectantly.) DARIA: (thought VO) Let's see. I can either ask him to just stay here, which would be awkward for the rest of the day, or I could tell him that I practically need to be carried to navigate the stairs, which would be awkward for a few minutes. Damn, this is why I hate choosing the lesser of the two evils: they're still both evil. (aloud) I...was helped up the stairs. By Quinn of all people. TRENT: Quinn? Oh, yeah, your sister. (shrugs) Cool. I can help you. What do you want me to do? DARIA: (thought VO) If only you knew. (aloud) Just make sure I don't fall. (Trent half-carries Daria to the top of the stairs, where she sits, already blushing seven shades of red. She moves herself down to the next step, then the next, wincing each time. Finally she reaches the bottom.) TRENT: (helping her up) Janey and I use to do that when we were kids. We'd see who could get to the bottom of the stairs first. We stopped when Janey pulled a muscle. DARIA: (thought VO) What do you say to something like *that*? (aloud) Uh...remind me to ask Jane the gruesome details. (Trent chuckles.) TRENT: Where do you want to sit? DARIA: Uh, the couch is fine. (Trent again does the half-carry thing to get Daria to the couch, then sits down next to her. For several moments, there is awkward silence.) DARIA: Will you be picking Jane up today? TRENT: Nah. Amanda picked her up yesterday. Janey said this morning that she's getting a ride from...uh, some girl. DARIA: Oh. TRENT: Uh, you want some breakfast? DARIA: Is there any toast left from this morning? TRENT: I *can* make toast. That all you want? DARIA: Um, some tea if we have some. TRENT: Cool. (heads off to the kitchen) DARIA: This is gonna be a long day. SCENE 41: (Lawndale High, mid-morning. Jane is just leaving one of her classes, and is met outside the door by Andrea.) ANDREA: Hey. JANE: (hesitantly) Hey. (The halls are congested, as per usual during passing periods.) ANDREA: Get the hell outta our way or I'll feed you your livers! (Like Noah and the Red Sea, the crowd parts for Andrea and Jane.) JANE: It's, um, really nice of you to help me. (Andrea shrugs.) JANE: After school, you think you could just drop me at Daria's? My brother'll be there, and he'll give me a ride home. ANDREA: (shrugs) Whatever. I was gonna see how Daria was doing anyway. JANE: I didn't know she knew you. ANDREA: (glances back at Jane) She doesn't, really. But I know her. JANE: (completely confused) Huh? (Andrea just shrugs again and continues tromping down the hall, keeping a path clear for Jane.) SCENE 42: (Trent and Daria are now watching TV in the living room, in an awkward silence. As Daria mutes the television while the commercials are on, Trent's light snoring is heard. She looks at him, sitting on another couch, sleeping like a baby.) DARIA: Well, now how do I wake him up? Wait, do I really want him to wake up at all? This works out for awhile. At least until lunch. (A time lapse shows Trent now laying on the couch, still asleep. Daria turns off the TV after flipping through channels endlessly. She puts the remote down and realizes something.) DARIA: Oh no. Please let it be my stomach. Aw hell. Trent. Trent! TRENT: (groggily) Do it yourself Janey! DARIA: Trent, wake up. TRENT: Huh? Oh, hey Daria. How long was I out? DARIA: A few hours. TRENT: Sorry. DARIA: Um, that's okay. I just, um, need some help. TRENT: With what? SCENE 43: (Trent is standing outside of the downstairs bathroom door. Daria opens the door while leaning against the counter, obviously in pain. He goes to her side and half carries her back to the couch. Daria is blushing the entire time. He sets her down and sits down at her feet, which are propped up at the end.) TRENT: You need anything else? DARIA: Um, lunch. If it's not too much trouble. TRENT: Nah. What do you want? DARIA: Turkey sandwich please. TRENT: Mayo? DARIA: Yeah. And lettuce. TRENT: No problem. Be right back. (leaves to the kitchen) DARIA: I've experienced the worst. I just have to keep reminding myself that. Like it'll magically make everything easier. I'm in hell. I'm in pure hell. SCENE 44: (Fifteen minutes or so later. Daria is still sitting on the couch. Trent walks back in from the kitchen and again sits at her feet. After several minutes of awkward silence, Daria flips the television back on.) DARIA: There's got to be a news program on *some*where. TRENT: News? Why would you wanna watch that? DARIA: (thought VO) Maybe so I know what the hell's going on in the world? (aloud) It'll cheer me up, seeing pathetic people in situations worse than mine. Besides, _Sick Sad World_ won't be on for a few hours. (continues clicking through the channels) TRENT: Oh, yeah. _Sick Sad World_'s cool. (Finally, Daria finds a news program.) TV ANCHORPERSON: ...and gasoline prices continue to soar. DARIA: There we are. TV ANCHORPERSON: Coming up when we get back: drunk driving and the heartache it causes. (Daria winces at "drunk driving" but doesn't change the channel. One of those really stupid commercials for Alkaseltzer comes on.) COMMERCIAL: ...there's no other medicine like it... DARIA: (mutters) And there's a very good reason for that. (Trent does that laugh/cough thing. A commercial for "feminine napkins" comes on. Trent looks decidedly uncomfortable for the duration of thead. He looks relieved when an ad for one of the station's new sitcoms comes on.) DARIA: The only humorous thing about these new sitcoms is that they expect viewers to *like* them. TRENT: (chuckles) Good one, Daria. DARIA: (quickly) Yeah, um, thanks. (The news program comes back on.) ANCHORPERSON: Welcome back. Our feature story: the pain drunk driving causes. (The image on the television of the Ancherperson switches to a news corresondant...and Mrs. Thompson.) CORRESPONDANT: Tell us, ma'am, how drunk driving has affected your family. (Daria stares at the screen with a deer-caught-in-headlights look. Trent glances at her, concerned.) MRS. THOMPSON: (weepy) It was just awful. My boy - he's a *good* boy, really, he just doesn't always make good decisions - anyway, my boy ran over two girls, and now he's in jail, and I'm all alone - I'm a widow, you know. (starts sobbing a little) He just made a mistake, and now he's-- (Trent grabs the remote and turns off the TV. Daria continues staring at the now-black screen.) TRENT: (worried) Daria, are you okay? (Daria doesn't respond. He kneels down next to her and puts a hand hesitantly on her shoulder. He looks a bit surprised at how tense she is.) TRENT: (to himself, sotto voce) I'll take that as a "no". (to Daria) Daria... (She finally turns and looks at him. Her expression is as blank as it normally is, but her eyes are bright with unshed tears.) DARIA: (almost sounding shocked, as if only now realizing this) He could have killed us. (She looks past Trent and swallows the lump that has curiously formed in her throat.) SCENE 45: (Lawndale High. Jane is in study hall, attempting to catch up on the work she missed while in the hospital. Every now and then, she looks over at Daria's empty chair. Jodie walks over, sits in the desk in front of Jane, and turns around to face her.) JODIE: How are you? JANE: I've been better. JODIE: How's Daria? I haven't been able to visit her recently. JANE: She's doing okay, I think. My brother's over there, helping her out. (Andrea tromps in and walks over to Ms. Barch. The two begin conversing, but what they say is too quiet to discern actual words. Jodie looks at the scene with some confusion.) JODIE: That's weird. (nods at Andrea and Ms. Barch) JANE: (shrugs) I guess. (Andrea walks over to Jane.) ANDREA: Come on. We're getting out of here. (Jane looks quizzically at Andrea. Jodie is more vocal.) JODIE: At one-fifteen? (Andrea gives Jodie a "what-the-hell's-YOUR-problem" look that only a Goth could do so well. Jane gets up, and Andrea wordlessly helps her gather her books. The two leave.) JODIE: That was...weird. MS. BARCH: Shut up, Mack! SCENE 46: (Andrea is driving Jane to Daria's house. Both are completely silent for the first five minutes of the ride.) JANE: Why are you doing this? ANDREA: Doing what? JANE: Helping me with all this? And visiting us and everything. ANDREA: It's a long story. JANE: Spit out the short version. ANDREA: I hit a couple of kids when I went drove home drunk from a local club. JANE: Oh. Are they okay? ANDREA: Yes, thankfully. I spent two years in a mental institution because I was only twelve when it happened. JANE: Oh. (The rest of the ride is silent.) SCENE 47: (Daria is still in a state of shock. Trent is rubbing her upper back and trying to get her to say something more, or do anything more.) TRENT: Daria, say something. (pause) Daria! (At the tone of his voice, she jumps and gasps a little.) TRENT: (softer) Sorry. DARIA: S'okay. TRENT: Are you all right? DARIA: No. He could have killed us, Trent. I could be dead right now. I was that close to death. (She holds out her hands with her index finger and her thumb close together, then lets her arm drop.) DARIA: Do you have any idea how scary that is? TRENT: No, but I do know how scary it is to almost lose my baby sister and a really good friend. (At that momment, Daria begins tearing up and sniffling. Trent hugs her gently, as to not bring on any pain from the broken ribs, and rubs her back comforting. A knock on the door makes him look behind her.) TRENT: Should I get it? (Daria sniffs and shakes her head no. Trent nods with concern at her answer and hugs a little tighter.) TRENT: Okay. Whoever it is can't be very important anyway. It's only one-thirty. DARIA: Um hm. (sniffs) Thanks. TRENT: I'm here whenever you need me, Daria. DARIA: Nice to know. SCENE 48: (Outside Chez Morgendorffer. Jane is glancing around, and Andrea is glaring at the door.) ANDREA: Your brother isn't stupid enough to have taken her anywhere, is he? JANE: No. That why I'm looking for the spare key. I *know* there's one around here somewhere. Daria told me that she keeps one out here for her father, 'cause he forgets his house key at least once a week. (Andrea narrows her eyes and leans against the door while Jane tries to remember where the extra key is kept.) JANE: (abruptly) You were driving when you were *twelve*? ANDREA: My ride had passed out. JANE: Oh. (Jane examines the nooks and crannies near the door.) JANE: It's really nice that you're helping me and all... ANDREA: (scowls [moreso than usual]) I hear a "but" coming... JANE: ...but that doesn't explain your comment earlier about knowing Daria. ANDREA: No, it doesn't. (There is a long pause.) JANE: You're not gonna explain that, are you? ANDREA: Got it in one, Sherlock. SCENE 49: (Meanwhile, inside the Morgendorffer residence...) DARIA: (pulls back from Trent, wipes eyes) It was strange, when I saw Kevin's jeep heading toward me and Jane, I wasn't worried that I was going to be killed. I was afraid Jane would be. (sniffs) *Me*, worrying about someone else. The world *is* going to end at the end of the millenium. TRENT: Give yourself a little credit Daria. You're a good person. (Daria just looks at him for a while. She looks like she's about to say something when the door opens.) JANE: Hola! TRENT: Janey?! DARIA: Jane?! TRENT: What're you doing here? It's one-thirty! ANDREA: I got us outta class. DARIA: Andrea? (Jane and Andrea walk over to Daria and Trent. Jane sits on the loveseat. Andrea just stands, and almost-smiles at Daria.) JANE: This is starting to sound like something out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. DARIA: Exactly how *did* you get out of class? ANDREA: (shrugs slightly) I know people. TRENT: Better question: why? (Andrea gives Trent a "damn-you're-dense" look.) JANE: We were worried about Daria. TRENT: Uh, good reason. SCENE 50: (Quinn is in the bathroom by herself, trying to avoid her newfound admirers and get a momments rest before class. Sandi walks in unnoticed by everyone and taps her on the shoulder.) SANDI: Quinn. QUINN: Huh? Oh, hi Sandi. SANDI: Like, hi. So where is everyone? What's the most popular girl in school doing alone in the bathroom? QUINN: I wanted to be alone. I see why Daria likes it so much. SANDI: Who? QUINN: My sister. SANDI: Oh, that weird girl that got run over, or something. QUINN: (eyes narrow) Yeah, that weird girl. Did you want something or shall I leave you alone, like everyone else has? SANDI: Um, I...just...well...I'm sorry. Can I please join your club? QUINN: Are you really apologizing? SANDI: (sighs; looks away) Yes. QUINN: Why should I take you back? All you ever did was pretend to be my friend when you didn't even like me. I *should* walk away to leave you wallow in your self pity. SANDI: (looks down) Yeah. QUINN: But I won't. SANDI: (surprised) What? QUINN: I'm above that. I'm willing to forgive and forget. Are *you*? SANDI: Why are you being so nice to me? QUINN: Because I learned that being nice is something I should be doing instead of keeping track of dates and outfits and other shallow stuff. If everyone was nice like Daria, maybe lots of kids wouldn't be so unhappy and quiet. SANDI: But, like, why does it really matter what those other unpopular people do? QUINN: Why does it matter what we do? No one in the school ever cared what the fashion club ever did except us. SANDI: If no one cared, how come we were so popular? QUINN: Because we're cute! We had chests, waists, hips, and no opinion whatsoever. The guys loved it! And if the guys liked it, the girls liked it, cause they wanted to like what the guys liked. But no one *cared* when we did anything. Like when we helped raise money for those safe goal posts, they thanked us and no one said a word beyond that. Didn't you realize anything? SANDI: Um, well... QUINN: Open your eyes, Sandi. Nothing is the way either of us thought it was. Grow up and then consider asking me again for a membership. (And with that, Quinn walked out of the bathroom and back into the adoring crowd. Jodie walks out of the bathroom stall and stopps beside Sandi. She smiles sweetly and walks out, also leaving Sandi to herself. Sandi turns to face herself in the mirror. Her expression changes to that of Daria's usual deadpan look as she goes deep into thought over what Quinn said.) SCENE 51: (Jake has gotten home, but the Lanes and Andrea have insisted on staying for awhile longer. Trent is now sitting beside Daria, not her feet, and Jane is sitting on another couch close to Trent with her foot propped up. Andrea is sitting at Daria's feet, not saying much at all. Jake is sitting on the remaining couch with his head in the paper.) DARIA: Have I told anyone that I hate attention? JANE: Yes? DARIA: Why can't I just crawl into my room and return to my vegetable state? TRENT: Because you can't crawl. DARIA: Quit reminding me. TRENT: Sorry. JANE: Um, Andrea, could you maybe take me home? I'm getting tired from all this extra effort I have to put in just walking around, and I need to take a nap. ANDREA: Have him take you. JANE: I kinda wanted Trent to stay with Daria. TRENT: Um, that's all right. I'll come back and help Daria after I drop you off, Jane. She can stay here if she really wants. JANE: All right. Sorry I can't hang around some more Daria. Daria? (Daria has fallen asleep against Trent while they were talking. Jane smiles, Trent chuckles quietly, and Andrea doesn't say or express anything. Trent lowers her to the couch cushion gently and helps Jane to the door. As the door shuts, Jake lowers his paper and looks around.) JAKE: What happened? (Andrea scowls at him, making him cower back to his paper without another word.) SCENE 52: (Inside Trent's car. He is driving Jane home. Jane is scowling.) TRENT: What's wrong, Janey? JANE: (thought VO) I wanted to scam some quality time alone with you for Daria, and for some reason Andrea decided to screw it up. (aloud) Nothing. TRENT: Then what's with the scowl? JANE: Oh. Um...nothing. (flashes him a false smile) TRENT: And you say *I*'m the strange one. SCENE 53: (Jake has relocated to the kitchen. Daria and Andrea are in the same positions as before.) DARIA: (cocks her head to the side) Why did you decide to stay here? ANDREA: (shrugs) I didn't have anything better to do. (long pause) And I thought I might convince you to let me read some of your writing. I got a kick out of your story at the coffeehouse that had nothing to do with the fact that I'd had a bottle of Jack Daniel's. DARIA: (blinks) Oh. (looks as if she's concentrating) "I'm here, but where are you? Sure, I see your body. Anybody home in that rotting bag of flesh?" ANDREA: (actually sounding a little pleased) You remember. DARIA: I tend to remember poetry with such vivid phrases as "rotting bag of flesh". ANDREA: (not asking) You like Poe. DARIA: (nods) "The Tell-tale Heart" is one of my favorite short stories. ANDREA: I like "The Cask of Amontillado". DARIA: The one where the guy's buried alive. ANDREA: Right. You know-- (Andrea is cut off by the sound of the doorbell. Looking royally pissed, she tromps over to the door and opens it. Trent looks somewhat started to see Andrea glaring balefully at him.) SCENE 54: (Trent finally makes it through the door and is sitting on the couch, in the same position he was before Jane wanted to leave. Andrea is sitting on another couch, not speaking, but still scowling at Trent.) TRENT: Um, you want anything, Daria? DARIA: Uh, how about my book? It's upstairs in my room on the nightstand. TRENT: All right. Be right back. (leaves the two girls) ANDREA: Why do you like him? DARIA: Like him? Who said I liked him? ANDREA: It doesn't take a friggen rocket scientist. DARIA: *Fine.* (mumbling) I like him. ANDREA: Why? DARIA: I dunno. I just do. It's not like I asked for it! If it were *my* choice, I wouldn't. Believe me, it's the last thing I want now. TRENT: What is? (Andrea scowls at him for interupting once again.) DARIA: Um, Quinn's speech capabilities. TRENT: Yeah, the world could stand to be without that for awhile. Here's your book. (The front door slams and Quinn walks into the living room, perky as usual.) QUINN: Hi Daria. Hi Trent. Hi, uh... DARIA: Quinn, this is Andrea. Andrea, my sister. QUINN: Oh yeah, I remember you from when they took the sleeping stuff out of Daria's IV. Anyway, you guys can leave now. Mom said I can take care of her until she gets home. TRENT: Okay. (Trent and Andrea walk out the door, Andrea *still* scowling at Quinn and Trent raising a confused eyebrow at her.) SCENE 55: (The Morgendorffers are all seated around the dinner table, attempting to eat some dinner. Quinn is trying to get off the phone so she can talk to Daria, but calls keep coming in about the club.) QUINN: Good bye. (hangs up) When will they *stop* calling? DARIA: When time stops ticking. QUINN: (laughs) Thanks. (phone rings; sighs) Hello? (pause) Oh, hi Jane. Daria, it's for you. DARIA: Hey Jane. JANE: Hey. DARIA: How was your nap? JANE: My what? Oh, good. DARIA: So why did you call me? JANE: Well, I was talking to Andrea earlier today and she said something about her knowing you. You got any idea what she was talking about? DARIA: Oh, um...(call waiting beeps) Hold on. There's another call. JANE: Okay. DARIA: Hello? Jodie, hi. Yes. Tomorrow's fine. Uh huh. Bye. (hangs up) Jane? JANE: Yeah. DARIA: Hey, so what was it you wanted to know again? JANE: How does Andrea know you? DARIA: Well, it all started back when- oh for the love of... Hold it Jane. Another call. JANE: You know what, I'll just call tomorrow or ask you after school in person or something. Okay? DARIA: All right. See ya. (hangs up) Hello? Oh, it's you. Quinn, its Sandi. QUINN: Again?! How many times does she have to call me in one night? (takes the phone) Hey Sandi. SANDI: Hi Quinn. I wanted to say that I was sorry for earlier. And I'm ready to put the past, like, behind me and everything. QUINN: All right. I guess I can let you into one of the clubs. But you have to be just a regular member. SANDI: Okay. QUINN: Hey, whatever happened to the Fashion Club? SANDI: We broke up after the foreign girl transferred to that other high school and Tiffany wouldn't show up to the meetings because we never *did* anything anymore. QUINN: When did we *ever* do anything, Sandi? (Daria smirks) SANDI: Like, good point. I guess. QUINN: See you at school tomorrow. SANDI: Yeah. QUINN: Bye. (hangs up) Why the hell did I ever like her before? DARIA: You didn't. QUINN: Point taken. HELEN: It's so nice to see you girls getting along finally. QUINN: Better late than never. DARIA: I see it as I only have two years to put up with it, so it doesn't bother me all that much. SCENE 56: (Casa Lane. Jane is in her room, seated on the floor before a 'sculpture' of miscellaneous junk glue-gunned together. Her leg is proped up on a pile of pillows. The phone rings and she picks it up. Cut to a split screen of Jane and Andrea. Andrea is in her all-black room, sitting on her bed.) ANDREA: Can you find another ride for tomorrow? JANE: (thought VO) Hello to you, too. (aloud) Uh, sure Andrea. (cautiously) Why? ANDREA: I won't be going to school tomorrow. JANE: Oh. Are you sick? ANDREA: No. (There is a long pause.) JANE: *Why* aren't you going to school tomorrow? ANDREA: I'm gonna stay with Daria. JANE: (confused) Why? Trent'll be there. ANDREA: (darkly) I know. (There is another long pause.) JANE: Um...well, I guess I'll see you when I visit Daria tomorrow. ANDREA: Whatever. JANE: 'Bye. (Andrea hangs up without saying anything. Back to just a shot of Jane.) JANE: This is getting really confusing. (She shakes her head, then looks around and grabs a slip of paper out of her backpack. She picks up the phone and dials. Cut to a split screen of Jane and Jodie.) JODIE: Landon residence, whom shall I say is calling? JANE: Hey Jodie, it's Jane. JODIE: Jane? Hi. JANE: I know this is kinda last-minute, but can you give me a ride home tomorrow? I'd ask Amanda, but she's in her kiln, and there's no way in hell I can reach that place with this cast. JODIE: Sure, no problem. I was gonna leave right after school to visit Daria anyway. JANE: In that case, I'll just come with you to Daria's. My brother'll give me a ride home from there. JODIE: Okay, great. See you tomorrow. JANE: Later. JODIE: 'Bye. (Jane hangs up. Cut to a shot of just Jane.) JANE: Well, it's gonna be a regular party at Daria's tomorrow afternoon. Me, Trent, Jodie, Andrea, and probably Princess Grace. And Daria thinks no one likes her. SCENE 57: (The next morning at the Morgendorffer household. Everyone--including Daria--is finishing breakfast in the kitchen. The doorbell rings and Quinn hops up to get it. She opens the door and her jaw drops when she sees not Trent, whom she expected, but Andrea standing there, looking surly.) QUINN: Uh...hi? ANDREA: Is Daria awake? QUINN: Yeeess... (Andrea pushes past Quinn and tromps over to the kitchen. Daria, Helen,and Jake look at her with varying degrees of shock/surprise/confusion. Quinn trails Andrea into the kitchen and sits back down.) ANDREA: (ignoring the parents) Hey Daria. DARIA: Hi Andrea. What're you doing here? ANDREA: Thought you might like some *real* company today. HELEN: Excuse me, but don't you have school? (Andrea glares at Helen. Helen interprets the look as a "no".) HELEN: Well, I really ought to get going. (to Daria) Have a good day, sweetheart. DARIA: 'Bye. (Helen grabs her briefcase et al and leaves.) QUINN: I gotta go, too. I'm supposed to meet Stacy before school. See ya after school, Daria. DARIA: See you, Quinn. (Quinn grabs *her* things and departs. Jake looks blankly at Andrea, then nervously at the clock, then questioningly at Daria.) DARIA: Go on, Dad. Andrea will make sure I don't swallow my tongue if I have a seizure. JAKE: (concerned) You sure, kiddo? DARIA: I'm sure. I'll see you tonight, Dad. JAKE: Well...okay. I *do* have to meet with a client at nine. Call me or your mother if you need anything. DARIA: Right. (Jake leaves, then comes back in for his briefcase and leaves again. Things are quiet for several moments.) ANDREA: You wanna go in the other room? DARIA: Yeah. (pause) But I can't get there without help. ANDREA: No shit. C'mon... (Andrea helps Daria onto the couch. Andrea then moves the coffee table over so Daria can set her feet on it. She then sits down next to Daria.) DARIA: You're not going to have any trouble because you skipped school, are you? ANDREA: No, I never do. I can do the schoolwork in my sleep, and no one in the office ever messes with me. DARIA: Why, do you have some dirt on them? ANDREA: (almost-smiles) Yeah, actually. Blackmailing for fun and profit. DARIA: (sounding vaguely impressed) You have something on Ms. Li? ANDREA: No, I have *many* things on Li. And DeMartino, and Barch, and the secretary, and several others. DARIA: I don't suppose you'd care to share one of those secrets about Ms. Li? (frowns) I owe her. ANDREA: (frowns also) What did she do to you? DARIA: Well, when the school had that "Student Life-- (The doorbell cuts Daria off. Andrea scowls menacingly as she goes to open the door. Upon opening the door and seeing Trent, she scowls even *more* menacingly. Trent blinks and looks at Andrea, confused.) SCENE 58: (Trent is standing in the doorway, trying to find a way out of Andrea's death scowl. Daria watches, quite amused, from the couch.) DARIA: It's okay, Andrea. Retreat the death stare. (Trent chuckles nervously and Andrea walks back to the couch. Trent enters and stands beside the sofa, trying not to make eye contact with Andrea.) TRENT: So, um, is she gonna stay here all day? DARIA: Probably until Mom or Quinn gets here. TRENT: Oh. Do you, uh, still need my help, or can she handle it all by herself? (Daria glances at Andrea, seeing her nod with approval at his leaving. Daria sighs, knowing she has to do what her parents would approve of.) DARIA: Um, I don't think my mom would like it if you left. Over-protective as she is of late. (Andrea now scowls at her, but she ignores it. Trent smiles.) TRENT: Okay then, do you want breakfast? DARIA: Um, sure. Andrea, you want something? ANDREA: You got any alcohol? DARIA: Um, you want any food? ANDREA: No thanks. TRENT: The usual? DARIA: Yeah. (Trent walks to the kitchen and Andrea now realizes Daria's ploy to keep Trent in the other room longer, making her breakfast as well.) ANDREA: (mummbles) Damnit. SCENE 59: (Everyone has eaten, and Andrea hasn't really gotten to talk with Daria alone that much. Daria sees her anger and gets an idea.) DARIA: Hey Trent, why don't you go get your guitar. Might as well practice since nothing's going on. TRENT: Good idea. Be right back. Don't die on me, 'kay? DARIA: There goes my afternoon plans. (Trent laughs and walks out the door.) DARIA: Okay, that should give us a few minutes to talk. ANDREA: Yeah. So what about that Student Life thing you were talking about? DARIA: You remember that poster contest, "Student Life at the Dawn of a New Millenium?" ANDREA: Yeah. I entered the one with- (The phone cuts her off. She scowls again and Daria answers it.) DARIA: Hello? HELEN: Hi sweety. I just called to see how you're doing. DARIA: Fine mom. HELEN: How's Trent doing? Can I talk to him? DARIA: Um, Trent's busy mom. Andrea is keeping me company until he comes back from whatever he needed to do. HELEN: Oh. Well, as long as someone is watching you, hon. DARIA: Mom, you do know that I've grown out of my toddler years, right? HELEN: Well of course, Daria. The doctor ordered this, and we have to follow his instructions. Hold on Daria, I have another call. (Daria sighs and rolls her eyes, knowing this call was going to take a little while.) SCENE 60: (Daria sits in the couch, portable phone in hand.) ANDREA: Your mom has a secretary. DARIA: Yes. . . ANDREA: And all incoming calls go to this secretary first. DARIA: Right. . . ANDREA: Hang up, then dial the secretary's number. (Daria looks like she's about to protest or at least ask what's going on, but she ends up just shrugging and doing as Andrea asked.) DARIA: Now what? ANDREA: (takes the phone) Wait and see. (Daria shrugs again, and watches Andrea with some amusement.) ANDREA: (into phone) Yeah, this is Andrea. I'm keeping her daughter company. I just want you to tell Helen that Daria's looking tired, so I'm making her take a nap. (pause) Because she put her own, *ill* daughter on hold to talk to a client. (pause) Right. (hangs up) DARIA: (amused) You're making me take a nap? ANDREA: Hell no. I just wanted to talk to you, and I couldn't do that while you were on hold. Now she won't call back till later either, and we can talk till (scowls; same tone Helen uses when she says Linda's name) Trent shows back up. DARIA: I wouldn't worry. This is about the time yesterday he fell asleep, so I don't expect to see him before one or one-thirty. ANDREA: (angry) He *fell asleep* when he was supposed to be-- DARIA: It's not a big deal. Trent can fall asleep while talking. ANDREA: (sits down next to Daria) How can you tell the difference? DARIA: Do you have a problem with Trent? ANDREA: (breif pause) No more problem than I have with anyone else... (sounds like she could have continued her sentence but didn't) (Daria looks at Andrea. After a few moments, she capitulates.) ANDREA: He's a loser. What do you see in him? DARIA: (sighs) I'm not sure. He's handsome, but I'd like to think I'm no so superficial that looks matter much. He's not stupid, really, and that's rare in Lawndale. ANDREA: And everywhere else. DARIA: (smiles a little) True. ANDREA: Anyway, I'd rather not waste time talking about *him*. You still haven't told me what Ms. Li did. DARIA: Jane and I collaborated on a poster. Jane painted a really good potrait of a pretty girl looking in the mirror. I wrote the caption: "She knows she's a winner/She couldn't be thinner/So she goes in the bathroom/And vomits up dinner." Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Li objected to the caption. Long story short: she changed the poster without our permission, so we destroyed it. I would've been in deep if Ms. Li hadn't made the mistake of calling my mother the lawyer. ANDREA: It'd be a kick to help you get even with her. I even have the perfect bit of dirt to use. DARIA: (curious) What? ANDREA: I'll show you tomorrow. DARIA: You're going to stay with me tomorrow, too? ANDREA: I couldn't leave you with just Sleeping Boy to help you. DARIA: But why? Why cut school just to help *me*? ANDREA: (shrugs) I like you. And here I thought I would never feel anything but contempt for anyone around me...but you're different. You think for yourself. DARIA: (blinks) Oh. (wryly) Now I have *four* friends. Mom will be so proud. (Andrea almost-smiles.) SCENE 61: (About half-past noon in the Morgendorffer living room. Daria and Andrea are siting on the couch, finishing bowls of tomato soup. The two chat in-between mouthfuls of soup.) ANDREA: *You* were involved in school activities? DARIA: That's not the most ironic part...I was *fashion editor* of the Highland High newspaper. (smirks) And I was very careful to avoid all current fashions. ANDREA: You mentioned something else? DARIA: Right. I was active in Highland High's gay and lesbian group. Which was also ironic, as I'm not a lesbian. ANDREA: (looks down at her soupbowl) Then why help? DARIA: No one else would do it. This was before I developed an immunity to guilt trips. ANDREA: (stirs her soup; still not looking up) How? I mean, a hetero as part of a homo support group? That's-- DARIA: Stupid? Yeah, I thought so, too. It's all bunk anyway. ANDREA: (finally looks up) what do you mean? DARIA: If you *really* fall in love with someone, it's because of the kind of person they are. Gender, age, and such--that's what someone prefers for...intercourse. ANDREA: Oh. (thoughtful) You know-- (Andrea is cut off when the door opens, and a hurried-looking Trent walks in, toting his guitar. Andrea scowls with such fervor as to make her previous death-glares seem harmless.) TRENT: God, Daria, I'm sorry. I feel asleep, and...(trails off when he notices Andrea's glare) DARIA: Don't worry about it. Andrea was here. TRENT: (casts a nervous glance at the glaring Goth, then looks at Daria) That's cool. I *am* sorry. ANDREA: She *said* she forgave you, stupid, so just shut the fuck up. (Both Daria and Trent look at Andrea, confused by her vehement outburst.) TRENT: Uh, right. I'll just...get something to eat. In the kitchen. (Trent beats a hasty retreat to the kitchen. Daria continues to look at Andrea. Andrea just shrugs.) SCENE 62: (Trent is rummaging through the fridge, looking for something to eat. Andrea walks up behind him, scowling. Trent turns around with some lunchmeat and bread in his hands, and bumps into her.) ANDREA: Open your eyes, moron. TRENT: I didn't hear you come in. Sorry. ANDREA: Whatever. TRENT: What *is* your problem? ANDREA: You. TRENT: What have you got against me? Did I do something while comforting Janey when you were in the hospital room? ANDREA: You fell asleep yesterday while watching after Daria. TRENT: She's a big girl. She can take care of herself for an hour or two. Besides, she knows I do that. She probably expected it to happen. You know she likes to be alone. ANDREA: Yeah, well, the doctor said *not* to leave her alone. If you can't do it, then *I* will. TRENT: I can do it, thankyouverymuch. ANDREA: Just forget about it. I'm gonna watch her from now on. TRENT: No you aren't. *I* am. Her mom wants me to do it. She trusts me. ANDREA: I can change that quite easily. TRENT: You wouldn't. ANDREA: Blackmail is my hobby, Trent. I would and I will. TRENT: I don't care. I'll come anyways. I owe it to her for saving Janey's life. ANDREA: You *owe* it to her? What is she, some obligation to you? TRENT: No. That's not what I meant. ANDREA: I don't care. I can take care of her better than you could any day. TRENT: Oh really. Is that a fact? ANDREA: Yes, it's a fucking fact. TRENT: Whatever. I'm going to go back and talk to Daria. ANDREA: Do you care for her? TRENT: What? ANDREA: You heard me, idiot. TRENT: Yeah. She's a great friend. And the last thing I want to see is her hurt. ANDREA: I thought so. TRENT: What's that suppose to mean? (Andrea walks out of the kitchen, scowling.) SCENE 63: (Quinn is sitting in Stacy's bedroom, flipping through papers and going over stuff for the club. She has a huge three ring binder and a couple of small folders in front of her. Stacy has a notebook for notes and a pencil.) QUINN: Okay. So now we just need a meeting place and weekly fee. Any ideas? STACY: (glad that she's being included in the decisions) Well, we could have them at the school, in the cafeteria or at one of our houses. QUINN: Good idea. Hey, why don't we rotate houses? So that, like, no one has the meeting at their place two weeks in a row. STACY: Oh yes! That's a great idea, Quinn! You're so smart. QUINN: Thanks. But it was your idea. (Stacy smiles) What should the fee be set at? STACY: Five dollars? QUINN: Hmm. What about kids who can't get that much every week? STACY: Well, maybe they could work off the fee with extra volunteer work or something. Maybe they could clean up after parties for compensation! QUINN: That's a good idea. Write it down under the meeting place idea. STACY: Okay. QUINN: I think we're all done now. How many applicants did we have total? STACY: Umm, forty-seven total. I hope we didn't let down a lot of people while choosing the members. QUINN: Maybe next year we can have two branches. You and I could be president of each. STACY: (in awe) But I've never been president of anything. Do you think I can do it? QUINN: Stacy, I *know* you can do it. STACY: (absolutely glowing) All right. QUINN: I would say we should do it this year, but I figured we should get used to everything first, ya know? STACY: Definately. When's the first meeting? QUINN: Umm, (flipping through papers) in two weeks. Every Saturday from 5:30 to 8:00. So that everyone can get their homework done before and get home not too late. STACY: Yeah, that makes a lotta sense. QUINN: Hey, you wanna spend the night at my place tonight? I could use the extra help with Daria tonight. STACY: Hmm. It's a school night. QUINN: Oh yeah. I almost forgot it was Thursday, not Friday. STACY: But I'll stay over tomorrow! QUINN: Okay, cool! What time is it? STACY: Umm, 4:00. Boy, we got a lot done. QUINN: Yeah. I should probably go home before Mom gets there. Ta help with Daria and everything. You wanna come over to my place after school? STACY: Sure! QUINN: (giggles) Cool. SCENE 64: (The Morgendorffer living room. Andrea has seated herself next to Daria. Trent walks in from the kitchen, stuffing a sandwich into his face. Andrea favors him with her "you're-a-loser" glare. Daria looks from one to the other, and shakes her head slightly, amused.) ANDREA: (stands) You want another soda, Daria? DARIA: That's okay, I-- TRENT: (around the last bite of his sandwich) Awh'm uop, Awh'll geht eht. ANDREA: Not even, you mannerless neanderthal. (moves closer to the kitchen) TRENT: (narrows his eyes) I *said* I'll get it. What kind d'you want, Daria? DARIA: Actually-- ANDREA: If you weren't so fucking oblivious, you'd know what kind she likes! TRENT: Maybe she'd like a different kind! DARIA: Ex*cuse* me. I don't even *want* a soda. I'd really just like a glass of water. TRENT & ANDREA: (in unison) I'll get it. (Trent and Andrea both turn and go into the kitchen. Daria watches them leave with confused bemusement.) DARIA: Maybe there *is* uranium in the drinking water here. SCENE 65: (Outside the Morgendorffer home. Jodie's car stops and Jodie climbs out. She helps Jane out of the car, and the two go up to the house. Jane reaches for the doorknob.) JODIE: Shouldn't we knock first? JANE: No. (opens the door) TRENT: (annoyed off-screen vo) I've got it. ANDREA: (pissed vo) Fine. But don't lose her place. TRENT: (vo) How would I do that? ANDREA: (vo) Fall asleep, drop the book, and the bookmark falls out. (snidely) Knowing you, it's a good possibility. TRENT: (angry vo) I'm getting real sick of-- JANE: (calling) Hey! (Jodie walks and Jane hobbles into the house. They see Daria sitting on the sofa, looking - with not a little amusement - at Trent and Andrea. Trent and Andrea are glaring angrily at each other.) JODIE: What was *that* about? DARIA: (amused) They were deciding who would get my book from upstairs. ANDREA: (glares at Trent) This numbskull woulda screwed it up. TRENT: (glares back at Andrea) I would *not*. JODIE: *I*'ll get the book. DARIA: My room's upstairs, the last one on the left. (Jodie nods, and heads up the stairs. Jane looks at her brother and Andrea, then at Daria.) JANE: Well, you look like Daria...but, from their (motions to Trent and Andrea) little argument, I'd say you're Quinn. (Andrea and Trent turn their glares on Jane, who just smiles innocently.) DARIA: Jane, you're my best friend, but if you ever compare me to Quinn again, I will hurt you. JANE: Nevermind, you're *definitely* Daria. (Jodie chooses this moment to come back, Daria's book in hand. She looks at the scene before her with confusion: Trent and Andrea have turned their death-glares back at each other, Jane is leaning against the couch, smirking, and Daria looks almost like she's surpressing laughter.) SCENE 66: (Jane and Daria are now sitting in Daria's room, trying to get some privacy while Trent and Andrea battle it out downstairs. Jane is sitting at the end of the bed while Daria leans against the head board and flips through a book.) JANE: I bet it's weird having those guys fight over you. By the way, why *are* they fighting over you? DARIA: (sighs) I have no idea. Andrea's getting protective of me because she likes me or something, and Trent... well, I don't know about him. JANE: Maybe Andrea's not the only one who likes you. DARIA: Maybe you'd better shut your mouth before I throw the book at you. JANE: Ha. That small thing wouldn't hurt. (Daria smirks and chucks it at her head. Contact!) JANE: Ouch! Hey, that hurt! (Trent and Andrea burst into the room, panting slightly.) TRENT: What happened? I heard something. ANDREA: No, I heard it, you moron. TRENT: I said stop calling me a moron! ANDREA: Quit acting like one and I'll quit calling you one. TRENT: Ugh. Daria, what happened? DARIA: (smiling slightly) I threw my book at Jane. JANE: (rubs her head) It hurt, too. DARIA: You doubted me. TRENT: So, Jane was the one who yelled? JANE: Yeah. You guys can go back to your fighting downstairs. We can manage for awhile. ANDREA: I better stay up here in case someone gets hurt. JANE: No, really, it's okay. ANDREA: I said, I better stay up here. (scowls at Jane) JANE: Um... DARIA: It's all right, Andrea. Jane can take care of me for a little while. We were kind of having a private conversation. ANDREA: Okay. (leaves) JANE: How do you do that? (Daria shrugs.) SCENE 67: (Jane and Trent are sitting at their dinning room table, eating pizza. Jane takes a bite of her slice and remembers something she wanted to ask her brother.) JANE: Trent, I meant to ask this earlier, but what is it with you and Andrea? TRENT: (stops eating) What do you mean? JANE: I mean, why are you two always fighting? Did you do something to offend her? TRENT: I dunno. She just doesn't like me. JANE: Uh huh. Right. How'd you tick her off? TRENT: Um, I didn't do anything to her. She keeps saying I'm gonna screw something up while helping Daria out. And she threatened to blackmail me. JANE: What has she got on you? TRENT: I fell asleep yesterday while Daria and I were watching the news and she said she's gonna tell Helen. JANE: And that'll make Helen's trust in you sink faster than the Titanic. I see. But, the question is, why is she being so damn protective of Daria? TRENT: Search me. JANE: Hmm. Why don't *you* ask her tomorrow? TRENT: Um, why don't you? JANE: Cause you can get her alone and confront her without Daria knowing what the hell you're doing. TRENT: Uh, all right. Maybe it'll get her to shut up or somethin'. JANE: Hmm. Whatever. Just do. I want to get to the bottom of Goth Girl's motives. TRENT: Jane? JANE: Yeah? TRENT: Quit sniffing paint thinner from now on. SCENE 68: (The next morning at the Morgendorffer household. Daria is seated on the couch, a half-empty glass of milk in one hand. Around her the other Morgendorffers rush about, grabbing this and that, preparing to leave. The doorbell rings, and Helen answers. She looks only mildly surprised to see a Goth grrl standing there.) HELEN: May I help you? ANDREA: (matter-of-factly) I've come to look after Daria. HELEN: (brow furrows) But that nice boy Trey-- DARIA: (calls) Trent. HELEN: --Trent is looking after Daria. (Andrea smiles a very tiny, almost evil smile.) ANDREA: Mrs. Morgendorffer, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone? HELEN: I suppose... (Andrea follows Helen to the kitchen. As Andrea passes Daria, Daria looks at the Goth with some concern.) ANDREA: (to Daria, sotto voce) Don't worry, I'm not going to totally ruin (spits the name out) Trent's reputation. (Daria watches Andrea as the Goth grrl joins Helen in the kitchen. Inside the kitchen, Helen sits down at the table. She motions for Andrea to join her. She doesn't.) HELEN: Now, what's this all about...uh... ANDREA: Andrea. I just thought you'd want to know that Trent has a medical condition. It causes him to fall asleep at strange, *inconveniant* times. It would make more sense for me to watch Daria, since *he* could easily bungle the job. HELEN: Hmm. I hadn't been aware of his condition. It's too late to tell him not to come today...I'll discuss this with Daria this evening. And you don't mind staying the day with Daria? ANDREA: (almost-smiles) It'd be my pleasure. I like your daughter. She has a mind of her own. HELEN: (not sounding particularly pleased with that last fact) She does, doesn't she. (brightens) But it's nice that Daria's making new friends. ANDREA: (eyes narrow a bit) And I can tell Trent he's not needed today when he shows up. HELEN: He might as well stay for the day, at least. ANDREA: (with all the enthusiasm Daria had for her bridesmaid gown) Great. SCENE 69: (Aproximately twenty minutes later. Jake, Helen, and Quinn have all departed. Andrea is sitting next to Daria on the couch. Daria looks a little tired.) DARIA: You really don't like Trent, do you? ANDREA: Not at all. He couldn't even stay awake to watch you. DARIA: (shrugs) I expected it. I didn't even mind that much--I do like to be alone. ANDREA: (less hostile, sounding almost worried) But if there had been something wrong, what then? He would've slept through you having a seizure, or something worse. DARIA: But nothing went wrong. (blinks hard, as if fighting to stay awake) ANDREA: (noticing that Daria looks tired) Why are you even up this early? You should be the one sleeping. (frowns) Not that moron. DARIA: (yawns) I guess I am a little tired. ANDREA: Well-- (The doorbell cuts Andrea off for the umpteenth time this week. She tromps over to the door and opens it. Seeing it's Trent, she graces him with her "you're-a-moron" glare. Instead of looking surprised, Trent gives Andrea his "you're-a-bitch" glare.) ANDREA: (enjoying herself) Well, you might as well come in and enjoy Daria's company while you can. This is your last day on the job. TRENT: (eyes widen) You didn't. ANDREA: (moves aside with mock cordiality to let Trent in) Well, not per se. I told Mrs. Morgendorffer that you have a medical condition that causes you to fall asleep. (whispers) I would've told her you fell asleep just because you're a lazy, selfish moron, but she (nods her head at Daria, who is dozing on the couch) didn't want your rep smeared. (The two go over to the couch. Daria is half-asleep. Andrea quickly grabs some sofa cusions and sets them at the end of the couch. Then, gently and almost tenderly, she moves Daria so that the sleeping girl is prone on the couch. Trent watches this entire scene with some confusion.) TRENT: (whispering) Can I talk to you for a minute? (Andrea frowns at him, then goes to the kitchen. Trent follows.) ANDREA: Well? TRENT: I want to know just what's up with you being so protective of Daria. ANDREA: What the hell do you care? TRENT: I care because your attitude is really annoying me. ANDREA: (seven shades of pissed off) Listen, you bastard-- TRENT: Shh! Daria's trying to sleep. ANDREA: (quieter again) Look, you moron, why I'm here and why I give a damn about Daria (gives Trent a look that says she doubts *he* cares about Daria) is none of your fucking business. TRENT: It is when you blackmail me! ANDREA: All you need to know is that I care about Daria, a helluvalot more than you seem to, Sleeping Boy. (With that, Andrea turns and returns to the living room. She sits on the other sofa and watches Daria. Trent stands where he is along moment, looking somewhat puzzled. He then sighs and returns to the living room as well.) SCENE 70: (Trent is perched at the top of the stairs, watching Andrea and Daria, who is still asleep on the couch. Andrea is writing in some sort of notebook to pass her time, as well as having the radio playing softly, as to not wake the sleeping beauty. Andrea sets her notebook on the table and gets up quietly, walking towards the kitchen and disappearing around the corner. Trent quirks a brow from the staircase and stands to walk down and retrieve the notebook, when all of a sudden Daria sits up and grabs the notebook, reading over the page and setting it back down calmly, laying back down on the cushion and pretending to be asleep.) TRENT: Huh? SCENE 71: (The day is about half over; it's around 2:00ish. Daria is now awake and all are watching TV in the living room. Commercials start up and Andrea stands.) ANDREA: I need to use the toilet. Mind staying with moron for a couple minutes? I'll be as quick as I can. DARIA: Take your time. Don't wanna rupture anything and hurt yourself. ANDREA: (almost smiles) All right. Be back. (Andrea leaves) TRENT: I, um, saw you earlier today. Reading her journal. Mind if I ask what it says in there? DARIA: (smirks) No, but I'm not going to say right now. TRENT: Did it say anything about why she hates me? DARIA: No, but I think I get the jist of it. TRENT: Oh. It isn't that she thinks I don't care about you enough to take care of you, is it? Because you know that's not true. DARIA: (a bit shocked) Uhhh... TRENT: It is, isn't it? I knew it. DARIA: No, Trent, it isn't that. But thanks. For saying you cared and all. TRENT: No problem. It's true. ANDREA: What's true? (Trent and Daria jump and turn to see Andrea behind them. They calm themselves a bit and turn back around as Andrea takes her seat next to Daria.) DARIA: Trent was just making sure I knew that he cared about me. ANDREA: Touching. For a moron. (Trent rolls his eyes and gets up, annoyed and pissed.) TRENT: You want anything, Daria? I need a soda. DARIA: Um, no thanks. (Trent nods and walks off to the kitchen.) DARIA: I read your journal this morning. I think we should talk about it. ANDREA: Oh shit. I need to leave. DARIA: Andrea, just talk! ANDREA: I don't think so. This crap isn't me. DARIA: At least stay so I can thank you for helping me. ANDREA: (stops short, thinking for a moment) My pleasure. DARIA: I also wanted to say that if you still want to hang out, I won't mind. ANDREA: Uhh.. sure. (furrows her brow) Why are you being so nice? DARIA: Umm.. why wouldn't I be? ANDREA: Cause normally when a straight girl finds out a goth girl likes them, they go running for the hills. DARIA: Yeah, well, people are weird. And I'm not normal. I make it a point not to be. ANDREA: (almost smiles) That's one of the reasons I started liking you. (Daria returns the almost smile, then turns as Trent walks back into the room, soda in hand.) TRENT: (notices Andrea just about to walk out) What's going on? ANDREA: I was just leaving. (scowls) Moron. TRENT: (returns the guester) Bitch. (Andrea leaves the house, slamming the door behind her. A car engine revv's in the background and screetching tires signal her leave. Trent sits back down beside Daria and takes a quick swig.) TRENT: Sorry about that. I've been holding off the urge since the day I met her. DARIA: It's all right. I don't think she'll be coming around anymore. TRENT: I didn't hear any yelling.. what did you say to her? DARIA: (smirks) Girl stuff. SCENE 72: (A few weeks later. Daria is hobbling out of the doctor's office on crutches, her new green cast being admired by her friends and family surrounding her.) QUINN: It looks really cute, Daria. DARIA: Then I should go back and getting a different color. JANE: (smirking) There's the Daria I missed. When do you go back to school? HELEN: Doctor Phillips says she can go back on Monday, provided she feels up to it. And the downstairs guest room is where you'll be sleeping from now on, Sweetie. It's just easier that way. TRENT: Cool. Don't be afraid to call me if you don't feel up to it on Monday, Daria, all right? HELEN: I'll make sure we work it out, Trent. Thank you so much for helping us through this. You don't know how much we appriciate it! JAKE: Yeah, man. If you ever need anything, you know where we'll be. DARIA: At work or sleeping. (Quinn, Jane, and Trent snicker and smirk at the comment. Daria smiles at the reaction.) DARIA: I'm not good at this mushy stuff... so I'll just skip it and we can all pretend it happened, all right? Good. Now... can someone help me into the car?? (Jane smirks and pushes Trent towards her, whom gladly obliges and helps Daria into the car, then motions for Jane to get into the Trentmobile and follows her.) TRENT: (smiles) Seeya Daria. DARIA: Bye Trent. SCENE 73: (A few weeks after the homecoming. Daria and Jane step out of the Trentmobile and stand up, while assistance of their crutches. Jane smiles and Daria and the two start walking side by side towards something. Back at the car, Trent gets out and opens the back, taking out a boquet of flowers and catching up to them. A few seconds pass, the trio walking completely silent, then stopping. Shot widens to show the three in a neatly mowed cemetary. The tombstone below them displays the ornamently carved name of Ted Dewitt-Clinton. Trent hands the boquet to Daria, who carefully sets them down on the tombstone and stands again.) DARIA: Sometimes I wonder... how these things always seem to happen to us specifically. JANE: (looks up at her friend and shrugs, not knowing.) Them's the breaks, I suppose. (Daria continues to stare at the tombstone, then looks up at Jane and Trent, who are both looking back, and turns around, starting to walk back to the car.) DARIA: Thanks guys. Now let's go home. **FIN** (The black screen from the beginning appears again and the same two girls walk back on, wiping tears from their eyes.) FIRST GIRL: That was so beautiful.. SECOND GIRL: I know... It's such a relief that Ted died, isn't it? FIRST GIRL: (sniffs happily and nods her head, smiling.) (Both stop their faux crying and smirk, giggling.) SECOND GIRL: Okay, okay. So you made it *ALL THE WAY THROUGH*. How do you feel? FIRST GIRL: Tired. And horny. And hungry. SECOND GIRL: Where the hell did that combination come from? FIRST GIRL: (shrugs) I dunno. SECOND GIRL: (looks at the first girl strangely and turns back to the camera) ANYWAYS... Go home! You read this excrutiatingly long fan fic that sprouted from our twisted minds and now you should stop, before something really really weird happens. FIRST GIRL: Yeah, do you really wanna talk and act like us? SECOND GIRL: Hey, I take offense to that. FIRST GIRL: And what the hell would your point be? SECOND GIRL: (shrugs) I dunno. BOTH GIRLS: (turn to the camera) *****GO AWAY!!!***** NOTES AND STUFF: Notes: Standard disclaimers apply This story was a "tag-team" effort: Melissa wrote scenes: 21, 22, 25, 26,29, 30, 33, 37, 38, 39, 42, 43, 46, 47, 50, 51, 54, 55, 58, 59, 62,63, 66, 67, 70, 71, 72, 73 NuitCoeur wrote scenes: 23, 24, 27, 28, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 44, 45, 48, 49, 52, 53, 56,57, 60, 61, 64, 65, 68, 69