The Invasion of the Gulls by T. Wilde All characters from the Daria Television Programme are intellectual property of MTV and their creators. Other characters not from the show are creations of Tony Seljuk and property of Squirrelnut Productions. (Sound and Daria monologue begin) FADE IN: Image of Morgendorffer house on a winter's day. Light green credits dissolve in and out of the screen while Morrissey's "National Front Disco" plods along. FADE IN: Abrupt medium shot of Daria sitting her room, in bed, reading a book. She wears a black shirt and faded jeans. Some moaning and sobbing permeates the walls. DARIA(VO) I'm not in denial of the situation. Sure, The old man is in the hospital, my mother is in hysterics, and my sister hasn't said a single word. What do you do when your father shows the first sign of age? Suddenly, every day is like a wake, you go pay him a visit, he's all happy and smiling, happy to be alive, right? When everyone else is gone, though, the truth is too much to bear, and the meds come full flow. It all happened tuesday. It was trash night, when all the scavenger trucks came about- EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD, GARBAGE TRUCKS MAKING A RUCKUS. DARIA(VO) -to pick up the week's worth of garbage, and maybe even recyclables if that truck was around. CUT to shot of small, decrepit house with TRUCK in front of it. There is a ear-shattering smash of glass. An obese, angry man comes bounding out of the house angrily. ANGRY MAN HEY YOU FUCK!!! I'M TRYINA SLEEP HERE!!!! INT. DARIA'S BEDROOM CUT to first shot of Daria reading her book. DARIA(VO) It was dad's turn to take care of the trash. Hey, I did it all month anyway, while he pounded shots of scotch into his belly- EXT. MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, NIGHT JAKE hauls out the can, gasping and sweating. After pulling the can to the curb, he turns the thing around. HE makes his way back inside where he coll- apses in the kitchen, screaming. DARIA(VO) The doctor said he had a coronary. PErfect timing. He was already in the midst of male menopause. EXT. LAWNDALE HS, DAY JANE and DARIA sit at a bench outside during lunch. JANE lights up a cigarette and takes a drag while DARIA eats a pickle. JANE(annoyed) Jeez, could you be any noisier with your food? DARIA Hey, at least I'm not smacking my food about the walls of my mouth like SOME people we know. JANE Or chew with your mouth open only to have the pleasure of watching how far your saliva-coated morsels will fly. DARIA(sounding sick) Now you see why I rarely have lunch. JANE My dear, don't you know you're supposed to have meals 3 times a day? DARIA Really? I thought all you do is munch on snacks all day and gorge yourself at night. KEVIN runs at the two with a sly smirk. DARIA Well you're certainly jovial today. JANE What did you do, leave a bag of your own stool in the coach's chair again? KEVIN(smirky, happy) NO! I got my scholarship today! JANE And it only took you 10 years to finish high school. KEVIN NO WAY! I'm not 36! DARIA Where will you be going? KEVIN UCLA, babe. I might get to be a Raider! JANE Well that's nice. Wanna smoke? KEVIN Nah, man, that shit's no good. And since when did you start smoking? DARIA Yeah, just when DID you start smoking? JANE Friend gave me a pack of Luckies. The old kind. BG music: Instrumental version of "MoonRiver" DARIA I see. Well, don't turn it into a habit. (VO) Sometimes I worry about Jane. Graduation's about a week away, and when I head off to UC Davis in Northern California, she won't have me around to preoccupy her brain. INT. DARIA'S ROOM CLOSEUP shot of DARIA staring out of a window at a flock of birds flying into town. Then cut to medium shot of her laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. INT. HALL HELEN starts calling for DARIA to come downstairs. DARIA creeps out of bed, still in the day's clothes and walks downstairs. INT. LIVING ROOM QUINN sips her soda at the couch while HELEN sips tea. DARIA notices that QUNN's eyes are reddened and that her mother has seemingly aged overnight. MEDIUM shot of HELEN as she speaks. HELEN(sounding tired) Now girls, I understand that you must be under a lot of stress with your father having a coronary and your moving up in the world of education- DARIA(VO) Jeez, could she sound any more like a CEO grieving over the loss of a janitor? HELEN(continuing) -so I think it would be best that we all go to a weekly therapy session. EXT. LAWNDALE HS COURTYARD, DAY WIDE SHOT of Lawndale's students making their way to their classes. Scott Joplin's "Lily Queen" plays on in the background. Abrupt MEDIUM SHOT of DARIA entering classroom. INT. DRAMA CLASS POV SHOT of teacher ranting to his students. TEACHER(angry monotone) As your FINAL project for this class, I'd like you type up an essay tonight on the book we studied all year. Failure to do this within the week will result in failure and the most sadistic humiliation I could think of, so there. MEDIUM SHOT of DARIA talking to a friend behind her. HE is a scraggy-haired gentleman wearing a flannel shirt and a light beard. DARIA That's all you have? I thought you'd have a little more, after all you've been ranting about it all week. MALE FRIEND I know I know, but I always get to thinkin' about ya and all. DARIA(sighing) Well, Gerald, you need to quit being so counterproductive. I'm not the only reason you're alive, you know. GERALD I understand, I know. DARIA No, you don't. Now I don't want you to mention your script AGAIN until you have it finished. And read, by me. GERALD(nervous) Okay dear, I-I-obey. Say, you want to go to the Rag tonight? DARIA(groaning) Maybe. I'm not in the mood for Jelly Roll Morton. GERALD Hey, it's up to you. DARIA Well, as long as you don't think any less of me. (gives GERALD a kiss on the cheek.) WIDE SHOT of classroom, everyone chatters inanely. DARIA(VO) Won't you be glad to be away from these miscreants? INT. HALLWAY GERALD(bitterly) Ah, crap, well I'll probably be working alongside 'em at some dank, smelly warehouse moving bags of flour. DARIA What? You're not going to college? GERALD Community. But I need to work. Then move out. DARIA Well that's mean. JANE approaches the two. DARIA Hey. JANE What's going on, lovebirds? GERALD Nothing here. DARIA Same.(nudges GERALD) He's still working on his screenplay. JANE(rather astute) WEll hey, I know how that is. The painting is almost NEVER finished with me. INT. PIZZA PARLOR WIDE SHOT of JANE and DARIA sitting across from eachother. GERALD approaches with the tray of pizza while The Cottonpicker's "Statestreet Blues" plods along. All three then start chatting. DARIA(VO) It's kind of strange how Gerald and I met. It was through this obscure internet bulliten board about cannibalism. I was studying it for history class, and I ran into a few absolutely hilarious posts he made. I contacted him once or twice, got a couple passive responses. Then he wrote me again, informing me that he too had attended Lawndale. MEDIUM CLOSEUP of GERALD eating and talking HE wasn't the most charming, but as soon as I realized how close his mindset was to mine. Gerald is generous, funny, and sometimes annoying but that's only when he gets drunk. JANE(making sobbing sounds) I can't believe it...my little girl is going to college! And worse yet, she's going to Northern California! DARIA Oh, I'll be back every few months. Oh, what're you doing after graduation? JANE(jovially) Going to work at the Art Shoppe. DARIA So you're not getting out of this shithole? JANE Hey, can't afford college. GERALD I hear ya. My parents are both security guards. That should tell you enough. They won't help me. JANE Oh, but they give you a nice computer and a stereo that you bragged about for a whole 5 minutes? GERALD It's a whole other story, dear. DARIA Don't say another word. I've heard enough, and so have you. GERALD Mmm-hmm. Sorry. DARIA(patting his shoulder) Don't worry about it kid. (turns to Jane) He's severely emotional. INT. THERAPIST'S WAITING ROOM WIDE shot of DARIA, HELEN, AND QUINN. HELEN is visibly depressed, pale, and frazzle haired. DARIA(VO) I don't know what my mother thinks will be accomplished in this. (gets up as last name is called on PA) INT. THERAPIST'S ROOM POV shot of HELEN, DARIA, and QUINN listening to therapist. THERAPIST I know, it is a hard time for young girls like yourselves to cope with such difficult circumstances. Daria, I- DARIA(VO) Oh, jeez, I ALWAYS have to go first. ALWAYS!! THERAPIST -must ask you; how have you dealt with this situation? DARIA I just accept it. Dad'll be out of the hospital soon. THERAPIST(seriously) Aren't you, well, don't you think you are deluding yourself? What if he dies? DARIA(leering at her sibling and mother) Then he dies. You can't go on crying for the rest of your life. ABRUPT MEDIUM CLOSEUP of HELEN HELEN She doesn't know what she's saying, Ms. Chelminski. She's been insular for most of her life and has no real concept of human emotions. DARIA Is that so, mother? Do I not feel hurt when I am insulted? Do I not feel murderous when I'm embarassed by you and the rest of the clan? QUINN Oh, Daria, you've been staying up too late lately...an' you know what insomnia does. DARIA What, exactly? QUINN You think too damn much.(loudly You always look down at people who aren't smart! It's like who cares how they feel! They don't have any fuckin' brains! Who cares?? DARIA Wow, for once we are in agreement. THERAPIST Is that how you truly feel, Daria? HELEN My daughter thinks she's GOD for chrissakes!! DARIA Well, hey, I have to model myself after someone. QUINN GOD judges, Daria! DARIA Yep. INT. RUSTIC CAFE WIDE SHOT of CAFE'S interior. GERALD stands at the jukebox listening to "L.A. WOMAN" by the Doors. DARIA emerges from the bar with a steaming mug of french roast coffee. She approaches GERALD and pokes him in the back, startling him. GERALD Jeez, w-w-why'd you do that? You know I'm a nervous wreck! DARIA Oh, Gerald, you need to quit being so-so wound up. Look at yourself! GERALD I know-I know You coulda caused me to piss all over myself! DARIA(groans) Come on, let's go near the window. ABRUPT MEDIUM CLOSEUP SHOT OF DARIA talking to GERALD DARIA So my mother joins in on Quinn's tirade. Isn't that sweet? Even at my ripe old age of 18 I can't defend myself against my younger and dumber relatives. Ugh. GERALD I can't believe-I just can't believe we've been together for over a year, y'know. And-and this'll probably-um-be the last two weeks we'll see eachother, y'know? I-I-I'm sorry I've just been thinking that way lately. DARIA Oh, Gerald, I'll be back! I'll write you every week. As long as you do the same, ok? GERALD BUT-but you know me and my wandering eye, I-I see people all the time in my line of work. DARIA Work? I thought you did screenwriting as a sort of a weekend thing. GERALD Yeah, I've been keeping it that way, and being that I've been working at the access station, people have been reading my scripts and getting interested in my ideas. It's=it's simply beyond my control. DARIA That's wonderful, actually. GERALD(after long pause) Yeah, it is! It really is! (kisses Daria) DARIA(kissing GERALD back) No wonder I have a hard time seeing you on the weekends. GERALD Don't worry, I'll make time for us for the next couple of weeks 'k? I-I promise. WIDE SHOT OF STAGE as BAND PREPARE THEIR GEAR, STRAP ON THEIR INSTRUMENTS AND START PLAYING SLOPPILY. DARIA and GERALD approach the closer area to the stage. DARIA I know the lead singer. GERALD I've seen him before. Guy has no grain of talent in him whatsoever. DARIA Eh, give him some time. Though knowing him he'll just piss it down the drain. GERALD Yeah, he plays and looks like the type that needs the carpet ripped from under his shoes to show him the right way to do things. EXT. STREET DARIA and GERALD walk the streets and find themselves gazing at an antique shop. "I've Got something in my Eye" by Amanda Rudolph plays as they enter the store. INT. ANTIQUE SHOP DARIA and GERALD marvel at old cameras and a vintage guitar. GERALD picks up the guitar and tries to play it while DARIA looks over a bookshelf. "These Foolish Things Remind me of You" by Benny Goodman plays as GERALD and DARIA inspect a book on the life of James Dean. EXT. MORGENDORFFER HOUSE It is late in the evening. DARIA walks to front door of her house, looks at her watch, groans, and keys the door. INT. DARIA'S BEDROOM Morrissey's "The More you Ignore Me, the Closer I Get" plays on the radio as DARIA reads her copy of "The Dead Zone". DARIA is startled by a knock at the door. She approaches the door and opens it, seeing that it is her mother. HELEN Daria, I've just received news that your father has improved. He'll probably be out of the hospital in a couple of days. DARIA That's nice. HELEN Daria, could you just show a little enthusiasm? DARIA Well, it's HIS fault, he spent all that time pounding down shots when he's supposed to be doing something productive with his spare time. HELEN(frustrated) Look, I'm really fucking tired of this. I'm certainly GLAD you know what NOT to do in life and that you're going to college. But that gives you NO EXCUSE to be such a cold, callous little bitch. DARIA Well, sorry. How do you want me to behave? HELEN Like a HUMAN BEING. Just do that until you head off to UC Davis, okay? This discussion has ended, goodnight. (leaves) DARIA pulls her boot off and throws it at the padded wall as hard as she can. DARIA(muttering) Annoying. EXT. JANE'S HOUSE, THE NEXT DAY. JANE and DARIA sit outside while JANE smokes her cigarette. DARIA It's going to be strange, I can tell. Not having any idiots to bother me, unless, heh, I get those type of roomies. JANE You know, you've been displaying a little too much emotion in your voice lately. I think you've been hanging around Gerald a little too much. DARIA I know, isn't he the flightiest? I can't get him to keep still. He might have Parkinson's. JANE That's likely. DARIA I'm bored shiftless. Shall we go torch a church? JANE(rather astute) Sorry dear, I have nary the time or the supplies for such an ambition. DARIA What's Trent up to today? JANE Probably same old crap, you know those (makes quotes with fingers) musician type. DARIA Y'know- JANE AAAHH!! You are sounding way too much like Gerald. DARIA Well I was just saying...well...I feel like, I've been thinking a lot about life lately. Ever since my dad had a coronary. I keep thinking, y'know- JANE(overlapping) SEE??! DARIA -I've really missed out on a lot in my young life. I've never gotten wasted, I've never been to a real rock concert, I've never even gotten laid. Let alone really made any real money. Have a job. Until I met Gerald, I felt totally alone..'cept for you of course. JANE(takes drag off cigarette) Of course. Well, just be glad you're on the high road of life. Accept what you have, and don't be so angry. It's counterproductive. DARIA I understand. JANE NO, you don't. Like Trent you need to have the rug pulled out from under ya. DARIA Maybe you're right. INT. GARAGE DARIA and JANE watch TRENT and JESSE pound out some chords, while Abe Lyman's "Rhumbola" plays. The music fades out as DARIA laughs herself out of the room. JANE follows her. JANE You are horrible! DARIA(still giggling) I just couldn't contain myself. JANE(irritated) Well you should. I have to watch those two get drunk piss-silly when their self esteem is sent to the sewers! DARIA Well, sorry. JANE Jeez... INT. RUSTIC CAFE DARIA, JANE, and GERALD all sit over espressos, chatting. DARIA(VO) Well, graduation's in another couple of days. I did all my work and officially ended my public school chapter of my education. Yep. Over 14 years of bullshit done and over with. Now we can all just reminisce about those awful times, go to college, and work ourselves into a rut. MEDIUM SHOT OF JANE DARIA(VO) Jane'll probably leave home to go to New York if she has any real passion for her work. Unless she gets into the Academy of Art College. MEDIUM SHOT OF GERALD DARIA(VO) I fear for Gerald. I'm afraid this recent string of success will harden him and turn him into an asshole. And as for myself, I plan to walk the earth. EXT. LAWNDALE HIGH SCHOOL, DAY (CG reading "Graduation Day" fades in and dissolves) WIDE shot of courtyard DARIA, JANE, and GERALD walk around the courtyard looking mournful. JODIE sees them and waves, her boyfriend's arm around her. JODIE and her beau approach the trio. ABRUPT SHOT of group walking JODIE I've been working alongside these idiots on the yearbook, speeches, etcetera, heh, I can't even believe some of these people are even qualified for graduation! MACK Well hey, you-know-who got a scholarshit- oh 'scuse me-scholarship. JANE Oh, we know about Kevin. Egh. JODIE Didn't you go to a dance with him once? JANE Well... DARIA YOU went to a dance. With Kevin. JANE Well whatever chemicals were mixing in my wasteland of a brain caused me to think he had potential. MACK Potential? As in, a potential convict sweating in a warehouse, living in a trailor park? JODIE(hitting MACK on the arm) Don't be mean. DARIA How come *I* never knew of this? GERALD Some things aren't meant to be known, my dear, all men have secrets... DARIA And what is yours? GERALD I had an underage girlfriend once. DARIA(after a pause) You what? WIDE SHOT OF EVERYONE SITTING IN THE GRASS GERALD It wasn't an opportunist thing! I loved her and she loved me. DARIA Well anyone who's 13 years old usually falls in love with higher figures anyway. She must've, well, found you charming somehow. JANE(abruptly) You buy her candy? Take her out for a walk in the fog? GERALD Yes! I took her out to a beautiful place for she is-was-a beautiful person. MACK "WAS"? What, did you kill her and incinerate her? GERALD NO! I haven't spoken to her in nearly 2 years. I was 16 and she was 12. JANE 4 YEARS!!! WHEN YOU WERE A JUNIOR SHE WAS BARELY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!! GERALD(agitated) WELL JEEZ!! I feel enough guilt about it already. You realize how many times I've considered suicide because of this? All last month I kept debating with myself whether or NOT to wedge a belt the door and say fuck it all hell!! INT. HALLWAY DARIA follows GERALD into the stairwell, where he sits down and starts scribbling into his arm. DARIA Gerald? I didn't know. and I'm sorry Jane hurt your feelings like that. GERALD Forget it, Daria. Y-y-you got my number now. I'm a hopeless goddamn pervert. A disgusting pervert! DARIA No. You're not. You just thought it was a good idea at the time.(grabs shoulder) I'm not judging you. I couldn't ever do that. GERALD Maybe we shouldn't speak to eachother again. DARIA(frozen) What are you talking about? I'm not mad at you. GERALD I'm really sorry I had to tell you that side of my life. I-I-I felt that you'd probably not be upset. But that look-that sort of fiery look you had. You-you looked like you thought I was a cock- roach. DARIA Gerald...ugh...I don't know...maybe you're right, maybe we should break up.. GERALD You sure? DARIA You have a whole life ahead of you. You're very charming-handsome, sweet.. I don't deserve you. GERALD(grabbing DARIA's shoulder) Listen. I'm very lucky to have you. I would never take advantage of you. I would never ever hurt you...you'll be in college...uh.. you'll be seeing other people...I'm already seeing other people...we could just keep in touch, okay? Is that alright? CLOSEUP shot of DARIA's face, looking fierce, and then sad. GERALD A-A-are you crying? Oh God, please, don't start crying...I-I can't live with myself...I didn't mean what I said...I'm not seeing anyone, it means little to me...we really should break up. You and I, uh, we should get our lives in order. The both of us. On our own. Look, here's what we'll do. You'll go to college, do your thing there. I'll finish my scripts up, move to San Francisco, and after all that's done we'll live together, if you want. You like that? I'll-I'll visit you once a month. Just pretend it's rehab. INT. AUDITORIUM The atmosphere is like that of a church, with an organ player going at it with a choir. HELEN and JAKE are in the audience. DARIA(VO) After that little fiasco, I got a cigarette from Jane and now I feel kinda-sorta dizzy. I have only smoked a cigarette once; and that was the only time. I took the whole thing, too. WIDE SHOT OF STAGE DARIA(VO) And there I am, walking across the stage like everyone else. I heard a few applaud. More applauded when Jane crossed the stage, grabbed hers and walked off. She looked kinda pissed. EXT. THE COURTYARD, NIGHT WIDE SHOT of COURTYARD, everyone drinking and chatting, Fats Waller's "Let's Break the Good News" playing over the scene. Everyone is dressed formally, dancing, and partying. JANE waltzes with her boyfriend TOM while DARIA and GERALD share a cigarette. DARIA "The Invasion of the Gulls"? What's it about? GERALD That's exactly what it's about, like "The Birds". Only more dramatic and theatrical. DARIA Sounds like a ripoff to me. GERALD Well, it still needs editing. DARIA You ever notice that everything you do always needs editing? I swear, if you ever get anywhere with these scripts it'll amaze me. GERALD Well...like Jane said earlier, the painting's never finished. DARIA Yeah, especially if you don't have enough paint, or better yet, INSPIRATION. GERALD(hugging DARIA) Ah, you know me too well. DARIA That I do. (Kisses GERALD) WIDE SHOT of KEVIN and BRITTANY in wedding clothes. DARIA Just pray that those two never breed. GERALD I dunno, Daria, she's got that 3 kid capacity in her guts. DARIA I feel nauseous.. MEDIUM shot of GERALD and DARIA GERALD Whu-what? There something in the punch? DARIA No. We're in agreement again. GERALD Is that bad? I'm not sure...um.. Still wanna go our seperate ways? DARIA You know...maybe not. I'm not sure. Give me a couple months at UC to think okay? GERALD Look at all those people. WIDE SHOT of courtyard full of people GERALD Don't you ever wish we could- DARIA To an extent. GERALD I always knew ya had a bit of optimism in ya. DARIA Thanks.(hugs GERALD) JANE pokes DARIA, causing her to start DARIA Jeez! Why'd you do that for? JANE This place digusts me. Can we spend our final non-college slash life moments at a warmer, more intimate place? DARIA Ah, alright. INT. PIZZA PARLOUR WIDE SHOT OF PIZZA PARLOUR, EVERYONE INSIDE EATING AND CHATTING DARIA(VO) So this is where it began. And This is where it all comes to an abrupt end. EXT. MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, NIGHT Gulls are picking through the garbage as Rudy Wiedoeft's "Velma" plays. JAKE comes storming out of the house angrily with a broom. JAKE Go on! Get outta here! Aw, man... (POV shot of garbage strewn all over lawn) Gulls fly away, their guts full. JAKE CHRIST ALLMIGHTY!! GODDAMN BIRDS!!! INT. LIVING ROOM HELEN yells at JAKE to get his ass inside. HELEN You gotta take your medication dear! Remember! I'm going to work now! JAKE Aaaw, alright...(muttering) christ Jakey what's your SPINE made of, WET NOODLES?? (throws shovel) FUCK THIS MESS!! INT. LANE HOUSE GERALD and DARIA lay next to eachother in front of the TV. ABRUPT medium shot of JANE and boyfriend TOM making out in the kitchen WIDE shot of DARIA and GERALD laying next to eachother. DARIA I'm having second thoughts about college... GERALD(stroking her face) Well, you shouldn't. I think you'll ream those other college students. Hell, you did that to everyone at Lawndale. Even me! I-I barely finished you know. DARIA Why? GERALD Well, you know me...I daydream too much. Mentally I have the capacity of a diseased slug. DARIA No surprise. Say, we haven't really made out lately...only once. GERALD You mean sexual intercourse? I've been trying to avoid it. Haven't had any in over a year. DARIA You mean you...? GERALD It was an impulse! DARIA Oh, Gerald...(kisses him) GERALD You look lovely tonight. DARIA Thanks...(kisses him) GERALD Oh...(muffles self in DARIA'S shoulder) you smell like a winter rose. INT. KITCHEN JANE You make the best pasta I've ever tasted! TOM Thank you dear. My dad was a chef at a deli once. Taught me how to cook on my own since mom has no talent in the kitchen. JANE I make yummy salads. You know olive oil is good for your hair too? TOM Yeah...hmm...got any wine around here? JANE motions towards the redwood liquor cabinet JANE White wine or red? TOM Red wine is good. INT. LIVING ROOM WIDE shot of couch and TV. DARIA and GERALD lay there, silent. DARIA That took longer than I thought it would. GERALD Sadly, it's true. You're not having second thoughts about college still, are you? I really want you to go. DARIA And I want you to make it in the movies. My college work'll probably not even amount to anything. Look at my parents. They went, and-and now they're just middle class worker drones. GERALD And what'll I be? Probably another wayward screenwriter. Making a couple grand per script. DARIA You should direct. You'd make a good director too. GERALD Argh, I have next to no discipline! DARIA And since when did anyone in the entertainment business need that? GERALD(flustered) All the time. All the time! DARIA I ever tell you that you have a wonderful technique? GERALD Huh? What? DARIA(leans her head on GERALD) Oh, forget it. EXT. MORGENDORFFER HOUSE (brief shot of HOUSE) INT. DARIA'S BEDROOM GERALD helps DARIA pack up her few things. "You've Got to Be Modernistic" by Clarence Williams and his Jazz Kings plays on as they get everything together. DARIA(VO) Today's the day I say goodbye to this wretched town. For awhile, anyway. Gerald's been sullen the whole time he's been here helping me pack. It's mostly books and valuables, including a skull that I've had for most of my life. My did gave it to me for some reason. EXT. AIRPORT DARIA and GERALD are in an embrace that seems to last forever. GERALD(muffled, crying) I'm going to miss you so much... I won't do anything to break up.. DARIA Ssssh. Come on, you're embarassing me. I'll come back. (VO) I wonder, what was worse, the scene my parents gave when they drove me out here or this? What a clingy individual. I just love this guy. GERALD If you can, give me a call, alright? You better, or-or who knows what'll happen! (laughs) DARIA Goodbye, Gerald. (give GERALD a warm kiss before walking to the plane. INT. AIRPLANE DARIA sits, reading her diary, smirking to herself. She pulls out a pen and adds more. DARIA(VO) So ends this chapter of my life. I'm just happy it didn't end on a sour note. Unless, well, there's turbulence on the plane. But I'm not worried about that as much as I worry about Gerald. I'll see him again soon, maybe. I just hope my roomates aren't gorillas. EXT. HORIZON, THE PLANE SOARING INTO THE SKY GERALD watches the plane outside. CLOSEUP shot of GERALD, a tear leaking down his face, and a cigarette hanging from his mouth. "THE END" is written into the screen in cursive form. WIDE SHOT OF PLANE DISSAPPEARING, "These Foolish Things Remind me of You" plays as the light green credits roll upward. WIDE SHOT DISSOLVES UNDER CREDITS, "National Front Disco" plays until the credits end. LAST CHARACTERS DISSOLVE IN AND READ Dedicated to 'Leah' DEDICATION STAYS FOR A MINUTE, THEN FADES OUT WITH MUSIC NOTE All songs here can be found on many vintage music CDs and at this site: dismuke.simplenet.com Other, "modern" songs here are available at your conventional music stores.