Substitute Teacher
by Mitch
wells17@gte.net

Thanks to C. E. Forman for letting me use Margot

(Woodland, early 21st Century, Daria's house.  Lucille, Daria's
daughter, is in a jacket and is carrying a backpack. A nearly 30
year-old Daria hands her a lunch bag)

Lucille: I can't wait for school to start!

Daria:(sighs, reminded again of the difference between her and
her daughter) Well, just remember, this is first grade and it's
-not- like kindergarten, not at -all-.

Lucille: I know, it's just that I want to learn something!

Daria: (thinking) Only if there's a substitute today. (speaking)
Okay, time to walk you to class.  I know it's not that far, but I
just want you to be safe getting there.

(Later, at Woodland Elementary...)
Daria: Okay, Lucille.  Just do your best.  (starts to leave.  She
doesn't want to embarrass Lucille)
Lucille: 'Bye Daria. [yes, she refers to her mom by her first
name]

(In class, the other students are rather nervous around Lucille,
particularly because of the rumors that her parents are
-married-.  Netherless, she sits in her seat waiting patiently
for the teacher.  Soon, a familiar looking fifty-some but
seemingly healthy African-American woman enters the room wearing
a trench coat)

Margot: (under breath) I can't believe this.  First, schools
werestrict and uneducational, now they're just barbaric. (out
loud) Okay class, welcome to first grade.  You're regularly
scheduled teacher couldn't make it, so it looks like you'll have
me for this week.  You know, I always wanted to deal with a class
at it's beginnings.

(Margot Haworth removes her coat.  She's wearing a t-shirt that
reads "Welcome to My World")

Margot: Okay, here we go.  (she writes on the board "Speak your
mind")  There that's my number one priority.  Always has, always
will be.  If you have something to say, say it.  -Admit- what
your thinking.

Lucille: You sound like my mom.

(everyone looks at her.  Lucille tries not to look embarrassed)

Margot: Your mother says that?  What's your name, kid?

Lucille: Lucille.

Margot: Sounds like you have a smart mother.  Lucille, what's
wrong in your world?

Lucille: Wrong?  Well, my mom says I'm too curious for my own
good sometimes.

Margot: She hates that, does she?

Lucille: Oh, -no-.  She -likes- it.  It's just that she says I
should be cautious about learning things or I might get hurt.

Margot: Hmmm.  Sound advice, I guess.  But she -does- encourage
you to speak your mind?

Lucille: That's what -she- always does.  That's why I want to be
like her...but she wants me to be my own person instead.

Margot:  She's right.  You -should- be your own person -and-
speak your mind.  If your mother is her own person, than you can
be like her by being -your- own person.  Okay, that sounds
confusing, but hey.  A lot of things are confusing these days.
Which brings us to the second principle: change the world.  If
something doesn't feel right, maybe it isn't.  If it feels right
to change it, change it.  For example, you know about those
people in front of city hall protesting, trying to bring back
marriage?

(some kids nod, some shake their heads)

Margot: Well, they probably should.  I was never a romantic, but
when marriage became optional, it was -treated- like a -useless-
option, since so many people figured not enough marriages lasted
to count.  The public saw it as a long relationship with
paperwork and a ring added.  Then, things went from bad to
-worse-!  Now, people are apathetic about -relationships- and are
starting to give apathy to everything -else-.  Well, I'm thinking
of doing something about that while I'm here.  I'll tell you when
I've got a plan in case you want to help.

Lucille: My parents are married.

Margot: What was that?

Lucille: My parents are still married.  People keep looking at
them funny when they mention it.

Margot: (laughs) I believe you, kid.  It's just that the more I
hear about your parents, the more I -want- to hear about them.
They sound like my kind of people.  They've already started to
change the world, at least for themselves.

(Commercial: The Best Buy logo enters a house and changes all the
dated electronics into what's considered modern.  Remember, your
life is meaningless unless your stuff is new and expensive.  It
doesn't matter if it still works:)

(Daria's Woodland home.  She has the week off, so she's reading
the paper)

Daria: Wow.  These protests make me feel old.  They shouldn't,
though.  Turns out that -my- parents weren't legally married.

(a happy Lucille comes the living room)

Daria: Hey, Lucille.  How was school?

Lucille: It was great!  You should have seen my English teacher.
Too bad she's a substitute.

Daria: Oh.  What about her?

Lucille: Well, first she told us to speak our minds. like you
always tell me.  Then she told us to change the world, but I
don't know where to start with that.

Daria: Strange.  She sounds familiar.  How were your other
teachers.

Lucille: Kind of boring, and I don't think I learned much.

Daria: Welcome to my world, kid.  Don't worry, you've got me.

(The next day at school.  Margot's wearing a shirt that reads
"The Future is Now")

Margot: Justify attention.  That's Margot rule #3.  Draw
attention to yourself, then people will -notice- you speaking.

Lucille: What about bad attention?

Margot: What?

Lucille: What if the attention is bad?

Margot: Well, we're talking about attention in general, Lucille,
but I guess you're right.  Take the protesters.  Now, their
drawing attention to themselves and some people are bugged by it
but it's -okay- because they're peacefully protesting and it's
perfectly -legal-.  The trick is to get people to listen to them.
So...Lucille, what would you do?

Lucille: Speak loudly?

Margot: That would only annoy them.  You have to make them -want-
to notice you.

Lucille: Um, come up with a catchy chant?

Margot: Good one.  And...

Lucille: Make it sound like you -mean- what you say?

Margot: Ah, you're getting it.

(Cafeteria, Lucille eats the lunch Daria made for her.  Margot
arrives)

Margot: Hey, Lucille.  Room for one more?

Lucille: Yes.  You know, you're my favorite teacher so far.

Margot: Is that so?  Too bad I won't be here forever.  Soon, I'll
be back on the road like I've always been.  I'd like to make a
difference before I leave though.

Lucille: How many more principles do you have?

Margot: Just one.  I'll share it with the class tomorrow.  You
know, Lucille, you look familiar, but I just can't place your
face.

Lucille: I don't think we've met before.

Margot: No.  I mean, I've seen your face somewhere else -on-
someone else, but I can't tell who.

Lucille: Weird.

(the next day)

Margot: Reward your followers.  When someone follows you, make it
worth their while.

Lucille: My mom says that too.

Margot: Huh?

Lucille: She rewards me for doing things she's proud of.  That's
why she got me so many biology books for doing so well
inkindergarten.

Margot: "Doing well in...?"  What did you do?

Lucille: Kept my cool.  It was...kind of rough.

Margot: I won't pry in it.  I had a rough school life.  Okay,
your homework, do something for a sibling or friend that's done
something for you.  I don't care what.  Just do it.  Oh, Lucille,
see me after class.  Don't worry, I'll tell your next period
teacher.

(They clear out)
(Commercial: "I'm too sexy for the CAR WASH!"  I guess it doesn't
matter how well a car -runs- or what it's -options- are as long
as it looks good.  I can imagine Tiffany buying a stylish car and
having it break down a month later:)

Lucille: Did I...do something wrong?

Margot: No, I was just wondering if I could meet these imposing
parents of your's.

Lucille: Well, my dad's out of town, but you can meet my mom.

Margot: Okay, then.  By the way, have you decided who you want to
be?

Lucille: What?

Margot: Remember our first day?  What kind of person do you want
to be?

Lucille: I...don't know, really.  It's just that...I -want- to be
my mom, but I guess I couldn't if I tried.  I...I'm interested in
plants and things, though.  She was more interested in bones.

Margot: So, you want to be a biologist?

Lucille: I guess...

Margot: That's a start.  Just remember, we should all be our own
person, but we can still admire others.  Now, get to your next
class and tell your mom I'd like to see her this week.

Lucille: Okay.

(Friday afternoon, after class, Margot's sitting on her desk,
waiting for Lucille's mother.  She then arrives)

Margot: Ah, you must be...(realizes)

Daria: (realizes) You...you're Lucille's...

Margot: Daria?

Daria: Margot?

Margot: (begins to chuckle, which turns to laughter)  I...I
can't...I mean...I knew I saw Lucille's face somewhere, but I
never...

Daria: You?  I can't believe I couldn't place you from Lucille's
descriptions of you.  I mean, I would have thought you retired or
something.

Margot: No.  What do I have to retire with anyway?  Man,
you...you look great.

Daria:  Me?  Time's been friendly to you.

Margot: No, not time.  Just keeping myself busy.  Speaking of
which, I've gotten some of the students to volunteer to speak at
the protest at city hall.  Want to come?

Daria: I don't know...remember that last time I saw you at a
protest?

Margot: That?  Ah, I've been hauled away by security plenty of
times.  That was nothing.  Besides, Lucille's gonna be there.

Daria: Wha...?

Margot: No, she's not protesting.  She just wants to watch.  You
know, you should be proud.  You have one curious little kid.

Daria: I know...thanks.  It's great to see you again.

Margot: You too, kid.

(Saturday, the protest in front of city hall.  The protesters are
marching, holding signs, and chanting, but passerbyes aren't
interested.  Soon, the kids from Lucille's class show up.  The
protesters stopped, confused.  Suddenly, the kids -sing-.
Basically, they sing a song about considering marriage back into
society.  People start to stop and listen.  Across the street,
Daria, Lucille, and Margot watch and smile)

(that evening, at Daria's house, the three are having dinner)

Daria: I'm sorry you have to go.

Margot: Well, I think Woodland's gotten enough from me anyway.
Time to move on.

Lucille: I'll miss you.

Margot: No you won't.  Not if you remember my principles.  Just
remember, if you're anything like your mother, you'll survive
just fine without me.  (gets up)  Well, I need to check out of my
hotel room, then I'm off.  Middlewood's got a job for me.

Daria: Middlewood?  Hmmm.

Margot: What?

Daria: Do you remember a certain Jodie Landon?

End