SHEEP GO TO HEAVEN,
GOATS GO TO HELL
by Robin Sena

(It takes place after Is It Collage Yet?)

Having died in an auto crash, en route to get married,
Brittany Taylor found herself in a white outfit, floating up till 
she was in what looked like a cloud covered landscape,
the surrounding skies in pink/blues pastel colours.
In the centre of it all, was an easy chair, with a TV tray 
stacked with goodies, drinks and a remote, all facing a
70 inch plasma telly. 

That was when a deep basso voice called out, "Brittany 
Taylor........"

Approaching the chair and setting down on it, the blonde said,
"Potatoe chips, dip, and soda pop.....a teenage girl's idea of heaven......"

Suddenly without warning, the tray and all its snacks vanished, and at
the same moment, the chair transformed in a torture rack, its straps and
clamps clamping Brittany down fast, whilst her white outfit changed into a red 
bodysuit.

"EEP!!" said the former Lawndale High cheerleader. "W-w-w-what's going on
here?!?"

"Brittany Taylor," said the deep bass voice, "you have been found written 
out of The Book Of Life, for jealousy, envy, fornication--sex, that is--having
sins you didn't confess, and worst of all, persecuting you boyfriend,
Kevin Thomson. Worse yet, you even cheated on your own boyfriend, and
lied on graduation day, saying you'd be back for him, when you had your 
fingers crossed at the time. Even worse still, you never even forgave Kevin
for his sins, when we must all forgive our enemies."

"But he was a jerk, he was dumb, and all he did was make mistakes," said the
blonde hotly, "and and have strong hormones to cheat on other gals, and
he never even concentrated on his schoolwork, preferring football!! An eye 
for an eye, and he got what he deserved, for getting left back till he gets 
expelled!! There is such a thing as holy anger."

"Ignornce is no excuse," said the voice. "Also, judge not, lest we be judged 
ourselves. Even worse, is the fact you failed to repent for all your sins before 
you died. As such, you're condemmned to be tormented, mocked, jeered and 
insulted by a squad of prissy cheerleaders whilst subject to endless broadcasts
of (here the plasma telly turned on, showing The Pigskin Channel) The Pigskin
Channel, FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!"

Realising just what fate she was earmarked for, Brittany shrieked, "EEP!! OH
NOOOOOOOO!! I AM IN CHEERLEADER HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Behind her, the landscape turned into volacnic rock, molten lava and fiery
bonfires, their flames crackling sharply.

Tis the end of ye tale.
--Robin Sena