DARIA FANFICTION "Possess Me" By Tamzin Buchan & Catherine Desmier SCENE 1 [Song: 'Ice' - Magic Dirt] (Daria and Jane are walking down the halls of Lawndale High) DARIA: ... and then Upchuck threw up the nutritious granules given to us by the generous American public school system JANE: That reminds me, wanna get some pizza after school? DARIA: Ugh I've experienced enough today. No thanks. JANE: (persistent) C'mon, I'll consult the magic ball (Jane whips an eight-ball (Orb) out of her bag and gives it a shake and reads out its message.) 'The stars say yes'. (Jane glances at Daria with a raised eyebrow) (Daria and Jane walk past Kevin and Brittany who are leaning against some lockers, making out, a couple of lockers away from Daria's locker. Daria and Jane stop at Daria's locker, talking) JANE: .. and so its been repossessed. My brother's really upset about it. (Brittanys ears perk up and she walks over to Daria and Jane) BRITTANY: Oh no, is that true? Your brother's possessed? (Jane and Daria exchange glances) JANE: Yeah, Brittany. All last night his head was doing 360s and his whole room is covered in bile. Shouldn't last to long, hopefully, otherwise we'll have to call in a priest to rip the savage beast from Trent's soul. BRITTANY(becoming increasingly alarmed): A priest? (Kevin walks up to Brittany) KEVIN: Hey, babe. Whatsup? We gotta go. I've booked us some "quality" time in the janitors room. (suggestively) mmhhmm BRITTANY: Oh Kevie. Jane just told me the most horrible thing. Her brother is possessed. (Kevin leads Brittany away as she continues talking) His rooms covered in bile. KEVIN: Bile? Eww I've heard about those bugs. BRITTANY: They're bugs? Eep. (Kevin and Brittany exit screen) (Shot returns to Daria and Jane at Daria's locker. Daria opens her locker door as Jane munches on a pack of chips. An envelope falls on the floor. Daria picks it up and opens it. Reads. Frowns) JANE: (with a mouthful of chips) Whashat? DARIA: Looks like the school's going through one of its conditioning policies. (Deadpan) I have to see the school counsellor. JANE: (with a lolly-pop in her mouth) are you going to go? Wait (Jane pulls out the magic eight-ball and gives it a shake.) DARIA: Not if I can avoid it. I'm going to go see Mr O'Neill. See you in the cafeteria. (Daria exits) JANE: (looking down at eight-ball) "You can count on it" ha ha (wicked laugh) ( Jane opens her locker. We see Trent's head appear behind locker door. He is wearing dark blue gardners overalls) [Song: 'Kool Thing' - Sonic Youth] TRENT: Psst, Janey. JANE: Trent what are *you* doing here? TRENT: I got a job as a gardener at your school. JANE: (surprised) You got a job? TRENT: I need some extra cash, for Mystik Spirals debut album and I need to pay off that amp that got repossessed. Where's Daria? JANE: She's seeing a teacher. TRENT: (lowers voice) Don't tell Daria ok? JANE: (raises one eyebrow suggestively) Why? TRENT: (shrugs) It's embarrassing, that's all. You're not the one wearing the overalls. (Offscreen we here Brittany's voice calling out to Jane.) TRENT: Later Janey. (As Trent exits Brittany appears on the other side of Jane.) BRITTANY: (curiously) Who was that guy you were talking to? JANE: That was my brother. You know, Demon Boy. He trims the hedges of this fine establishment. BRITTANY: Eep! SCENE 2 (Daria knocks on the open door to Mr O'Neill's classroom.) O'NEILL: Daria, how nice to see you! DARIA: Mr O'Neill, do you know anything about this letter? (Daria hands the letter to Mr O'Neill. We see him glance at the letter) MR O'NEILL: Oh yes I'm glad you came to see me about this. It's about the poem you handed up last week about 'Personal Emotion'. DARIA: (deadpan) What about it? O'NEILL: We're having a special counsellor visit us tomorrow. I've made appointments for several of our students who I thought could benefit from her years of experience in teen issues. I need you to get this signed by your parents .We have to keep our parents informed to keep the parent-school relationship healthy. DARIA: I'm a little curious Mr O'Neill, why did you select me? MR O'NEILL: Well I'm a little worried about your dark view of the world. I think it would be good for you to talk to someone. It's nothing to be ashamed of Daria. There are times in our lives when we all need to talk to somebody. (In the background we see Trent walk past the open door unnoticed) DARIA: (sighs) I guess if I can't get out of it I'll go. MR O'NEILL: Good for you Daria. SCENE 3 [Song: 'Vow' - Garbage] (In the school cafeteria, we see Jane sitting at a table by herself. Daria walks over and sits down opposite Jane and places her tray on the table.) DARIA: (mumbles) Hi JANE: (sipping on a fruit-box) What's wrong with you? DARIA: I couldn't get out of seeing that counsellor. JANE: Oh that. (pause) Don't worry, I found a letter in my locker too. Looks like I'm one of the many problem-teens who reside in the community known as Lawndale High. (Beat) Hmmm. (Jane pulls out her eight-ball and gives it a shake.) JANE: Will this counsellor be one of those intrusive, middle-aged wannabes who is going to try to wrench out our deepest emotions from our blackened souls? (Shot of eight-ball displaying 'No'. Daria looks at Jane. Jane shrugs and shakes eight-ball again.) JANE: Will this counsellor be a young, hip and happenin', down-with-it, upbeat dude who wants to help us overcome our Generation X pessimism? (Another shot of the eight-ball, this time displaying the message 'Very Likely'. Jane and Daria exchange gloomy looks and Daria sighs.) SCENE 4 [Song: "The Bizarre' - The Tea Party] (The Morgandorffers are sitting in their usual places around the dinner table, eating lasagna. Helen has a letter in her hand and appears to be reading it. Quinn is reading a magazine. Jake is reading a newspaper.) JAKE: Wow, goats cheese! Imagine that. (Daria glances at her father in a curious manner and then diverts her attention towards her mother.) HELEN: Daria, I think that it would be a good idea if you were to see this counsellor. It'd be good for you to talk to someone. DARIA: Why does everyone keep saying that? HELEN: I just think it would be an opportunity you shouldn't miss. Don't you agree, Jake? JAKE: Did you know there are over 20 lactating animals that ... (Helen interrupts) HELEN: (angry) Jake! Do you even know what we are talking about? (Jake sulks and returns to quietly reading the paper.) DARIA: (to Helen) I don't need to see a counsellor. My attitude serves me just fine. QUINN: (looks up from her magazine) Don't worry, Daria. Not just unpopular freaks are seeing this counsellor. Even Sandi has to see the counsellor. Of course she didn't want anyone to know but Stephanie's brother Jason found out from Sandi's brother Sam and told Stephanie who told Jenny who told Tiffany who told me that Sandi's mum wanted Sandi to talk to someone ever since her cat Fluffy died. HELEN: Linda would do something like that. She's awfully controlling. (Turns to Daria) So what do I have to do to get you to see this counsellor, Daria? DARIA: Well a scanner for my computer wouldn't go astray. HELEN: Deal. QUINN: (whines) but Mo-om DARIA: Now lets never speak of this again. SCENE 5 [Song: 'Undone' - Weezer] (Next morning - Daria and Jane are walking to school) DARIA: Yeah, I managed to scam a scanner out of my parents on the condition that I "open up" to the counsellor. JANE: (eating an apple) When's your appointment? DARIA: First period. JANE: At least you miss out on gym. DARIA: I think I'd rather practise my agility than have to explain my moral- flexibility. SCENE 6 (Daria is seated in the waiting room, flipping through a magazine. Andrea comes out of the counsellor's office and makes eye contact with Daria. Andrea begins to walk out into the halls. We see Trent walk past the open door and he spots Daria, who is engrossed in a magazine. Trent quickly ducks behind the doorway and so is out of view. We hear a voice coming from the counsellor's room.) COUNSELLOR: Daria Morgandorffer. (Cut to Trent in the hallway still trying to remain inconspicuous. Enter Ms Li.) MS LI: Aren't you supposed to be pruning those hedges near the oval? TRENT: I..umm...just needed to use the bathroom. MS LI: Okay, well back to work now, Mr Lane. Who ever thought you'd be here for the benefit of Lawndale High. (chuckles to self and exits) (Trent looks towards the counsellor's office and exits outside.) [Song: 'Army of Me' - Bjork] (Cut to the inside of the counsellor's office. Daria is seated in front to the desk, opposite the counsellor who is female and fresh out of college.) COUNSELLOR: Hi Daria! I'm LeeAnn Freedman but you can call me LeeAnn. DARIA: (smirks) Hi LeeAnn COUNSELLOR: Mr O'Neill wanted me to talk to you about your latest poem 'The Endless Journey into the Pits of Hell'. It's quite a powerful poem. DARIA: Thanks. COUNSELLOR: What's been happening in your life that has caused you to have such feelings of despair and hopelessness. DARIA: Well .. (pauses) being forced to talk to strangers about my personal emotions usually pushes me deeper into my safe shell of refuge instead of achieving the breakthroughs in individual deconstruction that these people hope to accomplish. COUNSELLOR: (taken aback) Daria, you are obviously a strong, intellectual young woman but I sense some feelings of rejection coming through in your poem. Is there an object of desire in your life? (Cut to shot of Trent pruning hedges outside the counsellor's office, under the window.) DARIA: (offscreen) Well .. ummm .. (hesitantly) COUNSELLOR: Come on Daria. You are here to talk. (Shot of Trent's face. He raises an eyebrow at the mention of Daria. He now appears to be interested and listening. Cut back to inside the counsellor's office.) COUNSELLOR: How about, to start off, you describe the circumstances that were surrounding you when you wrote this poem. DARIA: (hesistantly, feeling self - defeated) Well ... (Screen waivers) **FLASHBACK** [Song: 'High and Dry' - Radiohead] (Daria and Jane are in Jane's bedroom. Daria is lying on Jane's bed and Jane is standing at her easel, painting a picture of four demons sitting around a campfire toasting marshmallows.) DARIA: (frustrated) Dammit. (crumples up a piece of paper and throws it into a corner waste bin.) JANE: What's wrong with you? DARIA: I've got writer's block. It's that damn 'Personal Emotion' poem for Mr O'Neill. JANE: (sarcastic) Gee, Daria, it's not like you to not want to display emotion. DARIA: (makes a face at Jane) I have to use the bathroom. (Shot follows Daria getting up and leaving the room. Cut to Daria outside the bathroom door, which is open. We (and Daria) see Trent standing, in a towel, in front of the mirror and talking on a cordless phone.) TRENT: (into phone) She'll be here soon, it's nearly 4. I haven't seen her in awhile (sees Daria) Oh hey Daria (into phone) I'll call you later Jesse. (To Daria) It's all yours Daria. DARIA: (slightly awkward) Umm Thanks. (Shot of Daria in the bathroom with the door closed. Daria is looking at her reflection in the mirror with slightly red cheeks.) DARIA: (thinking) Calm down, Daria. Just because you saw Trent in a towel is no reason to hyperventilate. (Daria takes a deep breath and pats water on her cheeks.) DARIA: Control yourself (ponders) I wonder who *she* is. (Offscreen we hear a door bell ring. Daria, curious, exits the bathroom.) [Song: 'Red Head' - Magic Dirt] (Shot of bathroom door closed. We see Daria walk to the top of the stairs, looking down at the front door. We see Daria's view. Trent, still in a towel, opens the door to reveal a young (mid-20s), red-headed, fairly attractive woman.) TRENT: Erin, hey. ERIN: There's my boy! Are you ready to come with me and make history? (Shot of Daria's face, crestfallen. View returns to Trent and Erin.) TRENT: Let me get changed first. (Trent walks up the stairs as we see Daria duck out of view. Shot of Erin in the front entrance, looking around. We see Trent walking down the stairs, clothed. Daria returns to her looking-post and view returns to Trent and Erin.) ERIN: All set? TRENT: Let's roll. (Erin puts her arm around Trent's shoulders as they head towards the door.) ERIN: We're going to go far baby (Trent and Erin exit. Shot of Daria storming into Jane's room. Jane continues painting as Daria goes over to the bedroom window. We see Daria's view of Trent and Erin getting into a dark blue convertible. Daria returns to the bed and begins to write furiously. Jane remains oblivious.) (Waive screen back to shot of Daria's face.) **END OF FLASHBACK** SCENE 7 (Inside the counsellor's office) COUNSELLOR: And how did this make you feel? DARIA: It made me feel, that's the whole point. I never knew I had these feelings inside of me. (Shot of Trent still listening, the shrub he is pruning is totally bare of any foliage. Cut back to inside the counsellor's office.) COUNSELLOR: Yes it is hard to see somebody we have feelings for with someone else. DARIA: I don't know if I have feelings for him. He's just a nice guy, that's all. COUNSELLOR: Jealousy is a very powerful emotion. It occurs not just between lovers, but between friends, family and even strangers. DARIA: (realises she's said too much to this phoney and gives her the brush- off) Umm, yeah, can I go now? COUNSELLOR: Sure, and thanks for talking to me Daria. (Daria gets up to leave. Cut to a shot of Trent's face, smiling. Zoom out to show Trent under the window and rustling bushes nearby. Trent glances over as Kevin and Brittany tumble out from under the bushes and see Trent.) [Song: 'Scar Tissue' - Red Hot Chilli Peppers] BRITTANY: Eep, Kevie protect me. It's Jane's brother. KEVIN: Don't worry babe, I'm the Q.B. (Kevin stands up and faces Trent, who raises and eyebrow as Kevin forms a cross with his fingers.) KEVIN: Back you evil ... you evil ... (as Kevin looks for words and realises there are none) ... you evil guy. (Trent shakes his head and walks offscreen.) BRITTANY: Oh Kevie, you saved me. KEVIN: No problem babe. (Kevin and Brittany start making out and return to the bushes.) SCENE 8 ( Daria and Jane are at their desks in Study Hall. Ms Barch has Mack up the front writing "My one failure is my sex" over and over on the blackboard.) JANE: How'd it go? DARIA: I'm just glad it's over. I'll tell you about it at lunch. JANE: Can't. I'm helping Ms DeFoe. The air-brush nozzles are in dire need of being cleaned, so my afternoon's booked but my evening's free. Come over my house tonight. Sick Sad World has a special screening on Japanese aquariums that are waterbeds. I gotta get me one of those. (A bell rings. Cut to Daria walking to her locker by herself. See a purple flower slipped into the grill of her locker. Daria removes the flower and looks at it confused. The Fashion Club walks by.) SANDI: Hey Quinn, your cousin-or-whatever has a secret admirer. QUINN: Don't be silly Sandi. She probably put it there herself. Who would give *her* flowers? (All four girls in the Fashion Club giggle as they exit. We see Daria exit through the main doors of Lawndale High. Daria sees a bush with the same purple flowers, and at the same time she sees Upchuck approaching.) [Song: 'A.D.I.D.A.S' - Korn] UPCHUCK: Why hello Daria. You're looking lovely this afternoon. May I assume from the colour of that flower that you are feeling some 'sexual frustration'. Rowww. Don't worry, Mr Smooth is at your service. (Daria looks disgusted, looks at the flower, looks at Upchuck and then throws the flower behind her and exits.) UPCHUCK: Mmmm feisty! SCENE 9 [Song: 'Root Down' - Beastie Boys] (Daria is outside the Lanes' front door. Daria knocks on the door. Trent answers wearing his usual green t-shirt over his work overalls which are half-down.) TRENT: (surprised) Hey Daria. DARIA: (pauses, gulps) Hey. TRENT: (smiles) How was school today? DARIA: Okay (thinking) 'a lot better now that I'm here with you'. (Jane descends down the stairs) JANE: Yo. TRENT: (looking at Daria, who is looking at her feet) I'll be in the basement if you guys need me. (Looks at Jane) If someone called Erin rings (Daria looks up and frowns) tell her Mystik Spiral is not interested in recording with her company anymore (a look of relief and a half-smile overcomes Daria's face) JANE: Whatever. Coming Daria? (Trent exits and Daria's eyes follow after him.) JANE: Earth to Daria. DARIA: (shakes her head) Recording? (Daria and Jane begin to walk up the stairs) JANE: Mystik Spiral were planning on recording their debut album but it looks like Trent's had another one of his famous changes-of-mind. I guess he wont have to worry about working anymore. (Outside Jane's room) DARIA: Working? [Song: 'Love Buzz' - Nirvana] (Daria and Jane enter Jane's room. We see a vase of purple flowers and a painting of these flowers. Daria looks at Jane.) DARIA: (suspiciously) Jane, where did you get these flowers? JANE: Trent brought them home from work. Didn't I tell you? Trent got a job as a gardner at Lawndale High. (Close up of Daria's shocked face) La-La La La La THE END AUTHORS' NOTE: This is our first attempt at fan fiction writing. We are Daria fans from Adelaide, South Australia and so some of our terminology may seem unusual to some people. We have tried to make this as realisitc as possible to fit into the world of Daria, but we are only human. Please send us any comments and constructive criticism as we want to write our stories to a professional standard. Send comments to: Email: catherinedesmier@hotmail.com We recognise that all characters, excluding Erin and LeeAnn Freedman who were created by us for use in this specific episode, are the property of MTV productions and the title 'Daria' is a registered trademark. The ideas in "Possess Me" are copyright to Tamzin Buchan and Catherine Desmier, 1999, who are the creators of this fine fan fiction.