Mystik SPIRAL (The White Fic)

by jak981125

 

Preface: It was a time of stress and tension for the band.

Nothing they had put out lately was really that good and

critics predicted their days were numbered (of course they

had been doing that since the day Mystik Spiral first played).

Not only that but tensions were running high within the group.

 

Jesse (shouting): And I say chunky peanut butter is better!

Max (shouting): Chunky?! Are you crazy?

Jesse: No, I’m Jesse.

 

The group traveled to India to hang out with the lamas.

Jesse was most disappointed to find that these particular lamas

objected strongly when he tried to ride one of them (say, is your

mama a lama?). It was here in India that the group was trained

in the ancient art of burping the alphabet.

 

The band came back ready to rock and with a whole new

attitude (which they promptly forgot and went right back to their

old ways). The band went to work and by November came out

with an album that made the critics eat crow. The album was

simply titled “Mystik SPIRAL”

 

And away we go....

 

!!!!!!

DISK 1

!!!!!!

 

===

1. BACK IN SUBURBAN LAWNDALE

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Back In The USSR”

 

Driving down the highway on I-44

Trying just to bide my time

Yes we're coming back from our cross country tour

Didn't make a single dime

 

We're back in suburban Lawndale

This town feels just like a jail, boy

Back in suburban Lawndale

 

Coming home too soon just makes me really mad

Man this is a big disgrace

Threw us out of every single gig we had

'Cause we'd empty out the place

 

We're back in suburban Lawndale

This town feels just like a jail, boy

Back in suburban Lawndale

 

Well the jocks in town act like chimpanzees

They'd make a brick look smart

The girls in town always laugh at me

I guess they just don't know good art

 

We're back in suburban Lawndale

This town feels just like a jail, boy

Back in suburban Lawndale

 

Well the jocks in town act like chimpanzees

They'd make a brick look smart

The girls in town always laugh at me

I guess they just don't know good art

 

Spare me from the sewage-smelling streets downtown

Hide me from the Fashion Club

Show me not these sell-out bands that bring me down

Covering The Doors in pubs

 

We're back in suburban Lawndale

This town feels just like a jail, boy

Back in suburban Lawndale

 

 

===

2. DEAR SANDI

lead singer: Jesse

tune of: “Dear Prudence”

 

Dear Sandi

Girl that all the folks despise

Dear Sandi

See pure evil in your eyes

Your debts are up

Your grades are down

The meanest chick in all this town

Dear Sandi

We can’t wait for your demise

 

Dear Sandi

Spiteful puppy-kicking girl

Dear Sandi

Just to see you is to hurl

You undereat, you overdress

And still you look like such a mess

Dear Sandi

You look like drag-clad Milton Berle

 

Don’t hand around round

Don’t hang around round round

Don’t hang around

 

Dear Sandi

Hit the road and don’t come back

Dear Sandi

I’ll even come and help you pack

So adios, good-bye, so long

We’ll celebrate when you are gone

Dear Sandi

No more sunny days turned black

 

Dear Sandi

Girl that all the folks despise

Dear Sandi

See pure evil in your eyes

Your debts are up

Your grades are down

The meanest chick in all this town

Dear Sandi

We can’t wait for your demise

 

===

3. ONE HORSE BURB

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Glass Onion”

 

I told you about life at the Zon Club

A place just one step up from a brew pub

Well here's another place to avoid

Where I was annoyed

Traumatized way back in high school

Hiding in the men's room for hours

Living in a one horse burb

 

I told you about the meanies in pink, man

They bugged me even more than N'SYNC, man

Well here's another thing you can fear

If you had to live here

Sharing a cab with a stranger, yeah

One who hasn't bathed in a week, yeah

Living in a one horse burb

 

Oh yeah

Oh yeah

Oh yeah

Living in a one horse burb

 

I told you about Mrs. Johansen

Her waistline to this day is expandn'

Well here's another word for the wise

Take my advice

Leaving this town in a hurry

Finding a life somewhere else

Living in a one horse burb

 

===

4. SAY GOOD-BYE, SAY SO LONG

lead singer: Trent

tune of: “Obladi, Oblada”

 

Upchuck crashed his Yugo into Sandi’s Ford

Scared that she’d get mad and she’d explode

Sandi said to Upchuck “You’re gonna pay you dork!”

And she says this as she runs him off the road

 

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

 

Sandi gets pulled over by a traffic cop

Doesn’t have her license so she runs

Gets caught and arrested right there on my block

And we all go out so we can watch the fun

 

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

 

In a couple of hours she is booked and locked away

She’s still to dumb to yet comprehend the price that she’ll have to pay

 

Happy ever after in the city jail

Sandi’s panic-stricken and phones home

Sandi’s mother Linda will not pay her bail

And folks five states away could hear her moan

 

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

 

In a couple of hours she is booked and locked away

She’s still to dumb to yet comprehend the price that she’ll have to pay

 

Happy ever after in the city jail

Sandi pays society her debt

Sandi’s mother Linda will not pay her bail

And when she gets out she will sue her mom I bet

 

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

Say good-bye, say so long

Sandi dear, oh

Smell you later Sandi dear

And if you want some fun

Then just say good-bye, so long

 

===

5. WILD CRAZY GUY

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Wild Honey Pie”

 

Crazy guy, crazy guy

Crazy guy, crazy guy

Crazy guy, crazy guy

Crazy guy, crazy guy

I’ll sue you, crazy guy

 

===

6. THE CONTINUING STORY OF MR. O'NEIL

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill”

 

Hey Mr. O'Neil

How do you feel

Mr. O'Neil?

 

Once Tim ran a day camp and the campers nearly fried

In case of accidents he kept the kids inside

Real soon they'd had enough and they thought about homicide

All the students sing

 

Hey Mr. O'Neil

How do you feel

Mr. O'Neil?

 

Deep in the jungle where the paintball war was fought

Tim snagged his one true love, at least that what he thought

Well he's just lucky that they never did get caught

All the students sing

 

Hey Mr. O'Neil

How do you feel

Mr. O'Neil?

 

One time Doug Thompson tried to threaten poor old Tim

"I'll kick your butt you man!", his woman butted in

That mean fool Thompson should have known he couldn't win

All the students sing

 

Hey Mr. O'Neil

How do you feel

Mr. O'Neil?

 

===

7. WHILE MY GUITAR'S REPOSSESSED

lead singer: Nick

tune of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”

 

I look at my dog and I notice she’s sleeping

While my guitar’s repossessed

If you take my guitar I will surely be weeping

Still my guitar’s repossessed

 

I can’t believe I didn’t pay, man

Won’t you please take a check?

If you refuse then I’m DOA, man

My pals will break my neck

 

I look at your face, I see no understanding

While my guitar’s repossessed

You don’t buy my lie ‘bout that gig we’ll be landing

Still my guitar’s repossessed

 

I don’t know how I was bankrupted

After we jammed so hard

I watched QVC and I was corrupted

Maxed out my Master Card

 

My friends will be mad if they don’t have no bass now

While my guitar’s repossessed

But you could care less as you laugh in my face now

Still my guitar’s repossessed

 

 

===

8. MISERY IS A COLD VAN

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Happiness Is A Warm Gun”

 

We’re not a band that works that much

Do do do do do do
Oh, yeah

 

We’re well acquainted with the boredom and the cold

And things Max says when he’s talking in his sleep

The van as it stalls near correctional facilities when they’re all outside

Trying to devise a way to cook some weiners with a butane torch

Some bad impressions of Babe Ruth done by Nick which are

Getting on our nerves real quick

 

I need a life or I’ll go insane

And you would too with an act this lame

I need a life or I’ll go insane

 

Grab me the cables and jump the van

Grab me the cables and jump the van

Grab me the cables and jump the van

Grab me the cables and jump the van

Grab me the cables and jump the van

Grab me the cables and jump the van

 

Misery is a cold van

Misery is a cold van mamma

When I’m working on your engine

And your hood falls on my head

I know nothing can get much worse

Because Misery is a cold van

Misery is a cold van, yes it is

Misery is a cold, yes it is, van

Ah don’t you know that

Misery is a cold van mamma

 

===

9. JANEY MY SIS

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Martha My Dear”

 

Janey my sis

Though you’re heading off to Boston please

Write back to me

Janey my sis, don’t forget me

Janey my sis

 

Please come home soon you silly girl

I’m all alone

When you find yourself with some time to kill

Call me so you can vent about the jerks in art school

You silly girl

Don’t take no guff in Beantown

Don’t take no guff

Be yourself and see

What you were meant to be

In your future, you silly girl

 

I’ll come and visit you silly girl

And see how you’ve done

When I find myself with some time to kill

I’ll call you up so I can vent about the jerks in Lawndale

You silly girl

 

Janey my sis

You have always been my favorite sibling, please

Write back to me

Janey my sis, don’t forget me

Janey my sis

 

===

10. I'M SO FIRED

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “I’m So Tired”

 

We’re so fired, the audience walked out

“You’re so fired” we hear club owners shout

We’d best be leaving quickly before Maxwell starts to pout

Oh gosh no

 

We’re so fired, we’re feeling really down

The one place we don’t get fired is the Zon Club in our own home town

We’ll play that place forever; no one else wants us around

You’d think we’re getting annoyed

Our cash flow is getting destroyed

But we don’t quit, we never give up

Oh yeah we’ll rock on until we erupt

You know we’d give up everything we got for a little piece of fame

 

We’re so fired, we’re unemployed once more

Oh yeah, we’re so fired and once again tossed out the door

And we’ve been getting pink-slipped since 1994

You’d think we’re getting annoyed

Our cash flow is getting destroyed

But we don’t quit, we never give up

Oh yeah we’ll rock on until we erupt

You know we’d give up everything we got for a little piece of fame

Give up everything we got for a little piece of fame

Give up everything we got for a little piece of fame

 

===

11. BLACK VAN

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Blackbird”

 

Black van driving in the dead of night

Waking every dog for miles around

Got too loud

Just as soon as we had passed the Lawndale City Pound

 

Black van driving in the dead of night

Shaking ever time I hit the gas

Just stay right

We’d be getting whiplash if we ever tried to pass

 

Black van drive

Black van drive

‘Till we stall and we’re done for the night

 

Black van drive

Black van drive

‘Till we stall and we’re done for the night

 

Someone call a towtruck or we’ll be here all night long

Someone call a towtruck or we’ll be here all night long

 

===

12. WAR

lead singer: Nick

tune of “Piggies”

 

Look at our demented culture waging war on girls

Making them feel fat and ugly till they go and hurl

They don't care one bit, cause they make money

 

Look at them then try their witchcraft on some little boys

Turn them all so antisocial so they'll buy more toys

Parents buy more toys to keep them quiet

 

With their profits escalating, I doubt they care who's being harmed

Make boys greedy and girls erotic

Until their own kids go psychotic

 

Everywhere there's messed up values thanks to industry

And we know they get some help from our friend MTV

They don't mind a bit the war they're waging

 

===

13. TOMMY THE FOOL

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Rocky Raccoon”

 

Now in the town of Lawndale at a school of the same name

There was a jock: Tommy Sherman the fool

And Tommy was so sure that he’d be a big success

But Barch gave Tommy an F

Tommy didn’t like that

He said “I’m gonna get her back”

So he decided on a killer practical joke

 

Now Tommy the fool snuck into the school

Trying to get some revenge now

As Sherman snuck in he was sporting a grin

Sure that he would be avenged now

 

His teacher it seems had broken his dreams

By flunking him right before game day

There’d be scouts at the game from Notre Dame

But because of his grade he could not play

 

He put glue in the locks then looked at the clock

And realized that he should depart soon

He tried to make haste ‘till he saw his mistake

That fool locked himself in the girls room

 

Tried to break down the door but fell on the floor

That fool gave himself a concussion

 

The next day at nine he woke up to find

That Janet had broken the door down

One look at her eyes told him he would die

She forced him to wear a pink prom gown

 

In school all that day folks thought he was gay

Seeing him dressed like a drag queen

He was laughed at by some, got asked to the prom

And nearly got kicked off the ball team

 

===

14. WHY MUST YOU LIE?

lead singer: Max

tune of “Don’t Pass Me By”

 

You said you had some old friends

Drop in from out of town

Your hair just needed washing

And your grandma drowned

So we just can’t go out tonight

You hope I understand

But you’re lying

Does it mean you don’t want me for your man

 

Your car got repossessed last night

Ironic, so did mine

You fell down the stairs, broke both your legs

And nearly broke your spine

You said there was a hurricane

A flood, a fire, a plague

It’s all nonsense

Does it mean you don’t want me for your man

 

Why must you lie?

Don’t even try

To fool me more

Cause you know darling, I’ve heard it all before

Many times I’ve been lied to

And this is nothing new

So don’t you lie

Don’t even try

 

You called back and apologized

For all the lies you told

You say sometimes I can annoy

But I’m mostly good as gold

You said let’s go out tonight

I’d best watch my Ps Qs

‘Cause if I don’t, this time next week

You’ll say you have the flu

 

Why must you lie?

Don’t even try

To fool me more

Cause you know darling, I’ve heard it all before

Many times I’ve been lied to

And this is nothing new

So don’t you lie

Don’t even try

 

One two three four
five six seven eight

Why must you lie?

Don’t even try

To fool me more

Cause you know darling, I’ve heard it all before

Many times I’ve been lied to

And this is nothing new

So don’t you lie

Don’t even try

 

 

===

15. WHY DON'T WE MAKE SOME THINGS EXPLODE?

lead singer: Trent

tune of: if you don’t know, don’t ask (Paul was being naughty)

 

Why don't we make some things explode?

Why don't we make some things explode?

Why don't we make some things explode?

Why don't we make some things explode?

Having fun with fireworks

Why don't we make some things explode?

 

===

16. MY BILLS

lead singer: Trent

tune of “I Will”

 

Who knows just when I'll pay you

Or if I even will

For you know that I'm a deadbeat

And I rarely pay my bills

 

For I ever pay you

I'd have to sell my sis

And I really doubt she'd like that

And she'd get revenge for this

 

So sue me forever and forever

Sue me to heart's content

Blood from a turnip? Never ever

I don't know where your check went

 

But when at last I pay you

And you do get off my back

Could I borrow more cash from you

If I can't then you're a bum, you

Hope I never do become you, till then

I'll pay my bills

My bills

 

===

17. DARIA

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Julia”

 

Most of what you say is sarcasm

But you say it just for humor Daria

 

Daria, Daria, gifted teen, outcast

So I sing to thee my friend, Daria

Daria, lovely smile, rarely seen, outcast

So I sing to thee my friend, Daria

 

Her wit is razor sharp and cunningly, stunningly

Frees her mind

 

Daria, Daria, kindred soul, outcast

So I sing to thee my friend, Daria

 

When the world just ticks you off

I know you will speak your mind, Daria

 

Daria, loyal friend, sardonic, outcast

So I sing to thee my friend, Daria

Hum hum hum hum...outcast

So I sing to thee my friend, dear Daria, Daria, Daria

 

!!!!!!

DISK 2

!!!!!!

 

===

1. EARTH DAY

lead singers: Trent and Jesse

tune of “Birthday”

 

You say that it’s earth day

Got no problem with that, no

You say that it’s earth day

Let’s not get carried away though

It’s cool that’s it’s earth day

Happy earth day to you

 

Well I failed my emissions testing

Yes I failed my emissions testing

Yeah I failed my emissions testing

 

Earth day

Now I can’t drive the Tank

Earth day

And I’ve got Nader to thank

Earth day

Now I can’t drive the Tank

Hey, THANKS, yeah

 

Earth day

Now I can’t drive the Tank

Earth day

And I’ve got Nader to thank

Earth day

Now I can’t drive the Tank

Hey, THANKS!

 

You say that it’s earth day

Got no problem with that, no

You say that it’s earth day

Let’s not get carried away though

It’s cool that’s it’s earth day

Happy earth day to you

Happy earth day to you

 

===

2. YER SNOOZE

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Yer Blues”

 

Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie

Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie

If I ain’t asleep already

I’ll hibernate until July

 

In the morning, wanna lie

In the evening, wanna lie

If I ain’t asleep already

I’ll hibernate until July

 

My mother says get a life

My father says get a job

I don’t think I’ll do either

‘Cause let’s face it, I’m a slob

I’m lazy, wanna lie

If I ain’t asleep already

I’ll hibernate until July

 

As long as I can rock

Then I don’t need a thing

I’ll wait for all the cash and chicks

My lazy life will bring

I’m lazy, wanna lie

If I ain’t asleep already

I’ll hibernate until July

 

It’s not that I’m overworked

It’s just that I’m underpaid

If they’d pay me to do nothing

Then man, I’d have it made, wanna lie

Yeah, wanna lie

If I ain’t asleep already

I’ll hibernate until July

 

Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie

Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie

If I ain’t asleep already

I’ll hibernate until July

Yes I’m lazy, wanna lie

 

===

3. MA MORENO'S SON

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Mother Nature’s Son”

 

Born behind a record store

Ma Moreno’s son

All week long I’m stealing people’s hubcaps just for fun

 

See me play a gig in town

See the ladies flirt

Or are they really hoping someday soon I’ll wear a shirt?

 

Find me playing rock and roll

Ma Moreno’s son

Get free quarters when the folks mistake me for a bum

 

===

4. EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMEPLACE TO LIVE

EXCEPT ME AND MY BANDMATES

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Everybody’s got Something To Hide

Except Me And My Monkey”

 

Come on, come on
come on, come on
Come on man, it’s getting cold

Come on man, it’s getting cold

Come on man, it’s freezing

Come on man, it’s freezing

Hey it’s freezing

Hey it’s freezing

Everybody’s got someplace to live

Except for me and my bandmates

 

You’re deeper in debt as

You’re out on the street

You’re out on the street as

You’re deeper in debt

 

So come on, come on
Come on man, it’s getting cold

Come on man, it’s getting cold

Come on man, it’s freezing

Come on man, it’s freezing

Hey it’s freezing

Hey it’s freezing

Everybody’s got someplace to live

Except for me and my bandmates

Hey

 

The longer I beg

The more that it snows

The more that it snows

The longer I beg

 

So come on, come on
Come on man, it’s getting cold

Come on man, it’s getting cold

Come on man, it’s freezing

Come on man, it’s freezing

Hey it’s freezing

Hey it’s freezing

Everybody’s got someplace to live

Except for me and my bandmates

Hey

 

Come on, come on, come on, come on...

 

===

5. SILLY RABBIT

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Sexy Sadie”

 

Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids

Must you humiliate yourself?

Must you humiliate yourself?

Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids

 

Silly Rabbit, go buy your own

Why must you try to steal from kids?

Why must you try to steal from kids?

Silly Rabbit, go buy your own

 

One sunny day some kids were trying to eat their breakfast

You came along to rob those poor kids blind

Silly Rabbit, the lamest of them all

 

Silly Rabbit, why don’t you quit?

I hear that carrots aren’t half bad

I hear that carrots aren’t half bad

Silly Rabbit, why don’t you quit?

 

Silly Rabbit, won’t get none yet

However cool you think you are

However cool you think you are

Silly Rabbit, won’t get none yet

 

He’d give us everything that he has just to sit at our table

Just one bite would brighten up his day

Silly Rabbit, the most famous but the lamest of them all

 

He made a fool of himself

Silly Rabbit

However cool you think you are

Silly Rabbit

 

===

6. PSYCHO TEACHER

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Helter Skelter”

 

When she gets really angry everybody better run for their lives

Cause she’s ticked, and she’s mad, and she’s sharpening knives

And things could get really ugly if she sees any men

Run, run, run!

 

Now do you or don’t want her to find you?

If you say yes then let me remind you

Run boy, run boy, better run for your dear life

Well you ain’t seen no anger like a jilted ex-wife

 

Psycho teacher!

Psycho teacher!

Psycho teacher!

Yeah!

 

Do you or don’t think you’re a punk, you?

In her very best mood at best she will flunk you

Run boy, run boy, run boy, run for your dear life

You ain’t seen no anger like a jilted ex-wife

 

Look out!

Psycho teacher!

Psycho teacher!

Psycho teacher!

Yeah!

Look out, ‘cause here she comes!

 

When she gets really angry everybody better run for their lives

Cause she’s ticked, and she’s mad, and she’s sharpening knives

And things could get really ugly if she sees any men

Run, run, run!

 

Now do you or don’t want her to find you?

If you say yes then let me remind you

Run boy, run boy, better run for your dear life

Well you ain’t seen no anger like a jilted ex-wife

 

Look out!

Psycho teacher!

Psycho teacher!

Psycho teacher!

Yeah!

 

Psycho teacher!

She’s catching up fast!

Yes she is!

Yes she is!

Catching up fast!

 

I got blisters on my poor feet!

 

===

7. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG

lead singer: Nick

tune of “Long Long Long”

 

I did a wrong, wrong, wrong thing

But you forced me to tell you

That I loved you

 

It was a wrong, wrong, wrong thing

But I was frightened of you

I resent you

 

Now for more money I’m searching

Now it’s my money I’m wasting

Oh, oh

 

She said she’d smack me, whack me

If I rejected her love for me

Someone save me

She won’t leave me

And soon she’ll bankrupt me

Someone save me!

 

===

8. INTERVENTION 1

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Revolution 1”

 

I think you need a long vacation

Well we know that you’re a real hardworking dad

You’re questioning my motivation

Well you know I’d be more than thrilled to watch your pad

But when you fear that your head will explode

I say it’s time for you to hit the road

Why you gotta be uptight?

Why you gotta be uptight?

Why you gotta be uptight?

 

I think you’ve got too much frustration

Well you know I’ve never stood inside your shoes

You’re resorting to intoxication

Well you know you’ve got a job that you could lose

But when you’re cussing like a sailor man

You need to take a break while you still can

Why you gotta be uptight?

Why you gotta be uptight?

Why you gotta be uptight?

 

I think you need some relaxation

Well you know I think your family needs it too

Let’s get you to the Greyhound station

Well you know that California’s calling you

But when you blame your whole life on your dad

You need to get a grip or else go mad

Why you gotta be uptight?

Why you gotta be uptight?

Why you gotta be uptight?

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Uptight, uptight, uptight

Uptight, uptight, uptight

Uptight, uptight, uptight

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah a

Uptight, uptight!

 

===

9. ANDREA

lead singer: Trent

tune of “Honey Pie”

 

She was a gothic girl

North of Lawndale way

Now she’s shocked the whole town

In a major way

And if I could talk to that girl

This is what I’d say

 

Andrea, oh please tell me you’re joking

That Upchuck’s simply revolting

Please won’t you dump that slime

 

Oh Andrea

What on earth has possessed you?

How could he have impressed you

Enough to make him yours

 

You became a legend of the Zon club scene

Why would you go out with him

That ugly, sleazy teen

 

Oh, Andrea

This is truly confusing

Not the least bit amusing

Please won’t you dump that slime

Andrea, snap out of it

 

I can’t see that slimeball get romantic

I think it’s really kind of tragic

Makes me sick

Now Andrea, oh please tell me you’re joking

That Upchuck’s simply revolting

Please won’t you dump that slime

Andrea, snap out of it

Hey, snap out of it Andrea

ha, ha, ha

Andrea, Andrea

 

 

 

 

 

====

10. WHITE BOY SHUFFLE

lead singer: Nick

tune of “Savoy Truffle”

 

Macarena, and YMCA

When you see me dance just stay out of my way

Doing the twist yes it's all tons of fun

But you're gonna look like such a dork doing the white boy shuffle

 

Let's conga left and Bunny Hop right

A disco move makes me feel real all right

A nice ballroom step and I'm on top of the world

But you're gonna look like such a dork doing the white boy shuffle

 

They say white boys can't jump or rap

Well I do hope someone will tell Eminem that

I came up with this dance myself

And I've got no skill, can you tell?

White boy shuffle!

 

So throw your hands up in the air

If we all do no one's gonna care

Take pride in dancing like a nerd

Because today's moves are so absurd

 

Macarena, and YMCA

When you see me dance just stay out of my way

Doing the twist yes it's all tons of fun

But you're gonna look like such a dork doing the white boy shuffle

 

 

===

11. SUE BABY SUE

lead singer: Jesse

tune of “Cry Baby Cry”

 

Sue baby, sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

 

Your steak had too much pepper

and you didn't know your coffee would be hot

The burns and mental trauma, well you

know they're gonna cost you quite a lot

 

Sue baby, sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

 

Your mom forgot your birthday

and the subway didn't have an empty seat

The shoes you bought were just too snug

and now they have to amputate your feet

 

Sue baby, sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

 

You bumped your knee at Red Roof Inn

and now you cannot work for half a year

You got a little plastered 'cause you didn't

know there's alcohol in beer

 

Sue baby, sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

 

The store ran out of Twinkies and they don't

have sidewalks in your neighborhood

You ate too much Mc Donalds now you weigh

more than your doctor says you should

 

Sue baby, sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

Sue sue sue baby, sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

Sue sue sue

Make some sucker rue

The day he ever met you

So sue baby, sue

 

===

12. REVOLUTION 981125

lead singer: Jesse

tune of....what tune? “Revolution 9” didn’t really have one.

 

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

 

(Sound clip: Bill Cosby “That is the dumbest thing I have

ever heard in my life”)

(Sound clip: Rosanne laughing)

(Sound clip: Adam Sandler “OJ Simpson, not a Jew”)

(Sound clip: The Tank backfiring)

(Sound clip: bit from Daria theme song)

(Sound clip: AOL starting up)

(Sound clip: Paul McCartney “No, actually we’re just

good friends”)

(Sound clip: the Roadrunner’s beep, beep)

 

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

 

(Sound clip: bit from “Why Don’t We Make Some Things Explode”)

(Sound clip: the sound of fireworks)

(Sound clip: Max running around with his pants on fire)

(Sound clip: 30 seconds of the real “Revolution 9”)

(Sound clip: Curley)

(Sound clip: someone’s pants ripping)

(Sound clip: Homer Simpson riding a bomb)

(Sound clip: guy falling off roof at the tail end of Growing Pains)

(Sound clip: Woody Woodpecker’s laugh)

(Sound clip: music from Charlie Brown)

 

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

Number 981125 (Sound clip: Barney Gumble belches)

 

(Sound clip: announcement of George Harrison’s death)

(Sound clip: Mike Tyson reciting Hamlet)

(Sound clip: Nelson Muntz’s laugh)

(Sound clip: a clothes dryer)

(Sound clip: Tiny Tim doing “Tip Toe Through The Tulips”)

(Sound clip: John Lennon “Turn left at Greenland”)

(Sound clip: Life is like a box of chocolates....)

(Sound clip: opening notes from “Pinball Wizard”)

(Sound clip: Ernie sing “Rubber Duckie”)

(Sound clip: Desi Arnez “Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do!”)

(Sound clip: ending nonsense from Sgt. Pepper)

(Sound clip: wild applause)

 

===

13. GOOD-BYE

lead singer: Max

tune of “Good Night”

 

Now it’s time to say good-bye

Rest in peace George

Think of us as you fly high

Rest in peace George

See you soon again

See you soon my friend

 

We were sad to see you die

Rest in peace George

Weird yet cool creative guy

Rest in peace George

See you soon again

See you soon my friend

 

We were sad to see you die

Rest in peace George

Think of us as you fly high

Rest in peace George

See you soon again

See you soon my friend

 

 

 

(c) 2002 Joseph Kerner

 

Disclaimer: Most of the songs parodied here were by John Lennon and Paul

McCartney. George Harrison wrote "While My Guitar Gently Weeps",

"Long Long Long", "Piggies", and "Savoy Truffle" Ringo Starr wrote

"Don't Pass Me By"

 

Other than that I know I used a ton of registered trademarks. I take no

credit for these or for the Daria series and characters.