“Morte La Montreal, Part The Sixth: “Horse Brutality” or, “So It’s Come To This: A Daria Clip Show” By wierdgrrl wierdgrrl@hotmail.com Synopsis: Trent and Daria have been taken to the hospital. Trent is okay, but Daria’s state of health hangs in the balance. When she does come to, what becomes of their relationship? Intro: Instead of the usual, we are treated to a new one, to “Sweet ‘69” by Babes In Toyland; and the intro is in the tradition of MMST series, with teaser scenes.  Upchuck walking with 3J into the red light district, as CLOSED signs appear in the windows rather quickly.  The Fashion Club shivering in the cold, wearing miniskirts.  Trent opening his guitar case to find a folded piece of paper, which he opens and looks stunned.  The Fashion Club sliding by Jane and Daria across the ice, and Jane and Daria wince as if the FC got seriously hurt.  Daria walking down a snowy road in the night, with her thumb out.  The Fashion Club standing around looking cold. All of a sudden they get smacked in the back of the head with snowballs. Cut to Daria and Jane smirking.  Daria logo on ice blue background, close-up and then pan out to read, “Daria in ‘Horse Brutality(1)” or, “So It’s Come To This: A Daria Clip Show(2)” SCENE: HOTEL ROOM (A phone is ringing. A hand reaches out from under the covers and picks it up sleepily.) JANE: Hello? Oh good… You’re where? SCENE: HOSPITAL HALLWAY MUSIC: “ (Jane is sitting in a plastic chair, looking anxious. Quinn and Jesse accompany her.) QUINN: So what the hell happened? Are they okay? JANE: I don’t know, we haven’t seen a doctor yet. Daria was asleep in the snow for hours, and Trent flipped over the Tank. (At that moment we see Jesse is talking on a cell phone.) JESSE: Yeah, Trent flipped over a hill in the van- what? I don’t know if she’ll be okay- (Quinn and Jane exchange worried looks.) JESSE: Hey, she’ll probably be okay- IT’S JUST A VAN! (Quinn’s mouth begins to twitch. Jane looks over at her, and they both start laughing.) QUINN: Forget Jesse, try hooking up with max! JANE: We gotta let him get used to him being a widower first! (They’re still in uproarious laughter when a familiar figure comes in.) JANE: Trent! (Trent has a bandage on his forehead as if to cover stitches, and his arm is in a sling.) Trent: Hey, Janie. (She runs up and hugs him.) JANE: I’m so glad you’re okay! (pause) How’s Daria? TRENT: I don’t know, she jumped out of a speeding Buick and fell asleep in the snow for hours. I haven’t seen anyone yet. (As he speaks, Dr. Phillips [3] comes up and taps Trent on the shoulder.) DR: Trent? I thought you should know, Daria’s been examined. TRENT: And? DR: Well, this is hard to say. (Shocked looks from Quinn, Trent and Jane.) DR: She was out in the cold almost the whole night. She also suffered a broken arm from that car stunt, and got a severe concussion. TRENT: So what does that mean? DR: (sigh) She fell into a coma a couple hours ago. It’s possible she’ll be okay. But she may suffer brain damage if she lives at all. TRENT: Oh, no! We’ve got to go see her. DR: Certainly, I understand. COMMERCIAL LEAD-IN: JANE PICKING UP THE PHONE Once again. I’ve played a dirty trick by cutting to a commercial at a crucial moment. Back to the show. END COMMERCIAL BREAK (Jane, Trent and Quinn are gathered around Daria’s hospital bed.) QUINN: Oh, God, if she even wakes up she’ll never talk to us again. At least as long as we’re still together. TRENT: Well, we’re not going to be together, Quinn. QUINN: What are you saying? TRENT: I did a lot of thinking out there, Quinn, and I gotta tell you, none of it was real. QUINN: What? TRENT: (timid) Fact is, you were a substitute. I love Daria. (Quinn storms out of the room angrily. As she storms out, Ms. Li storms in.) LI: All right, what is the meaning of this? (She storms over to Daria and yanks out the plug to her life support.) (Trent gasps and plugs it back in.) JKANE: Ms. Li, do you have a heart at all? LI: Daria’s medical form stating that I had power of in loco parentis in case of emergency was not notarized. And I’m not messing with her mother again! DR: Ms. Li, you can’t do this. LI: (sigh) I was prepared for this… Come on in! (A yellow-skinned man with an over bite, mussed black hair and a goatee, wearing a lab coat. comes in.) MAN: Hi, everybody! (Silence.) MAN: I said, “Hi, everybody!” (Silence.) LI: (sigh) May I introduce Dr. Nick Riviera. NICK: Hi, everybody! ALL: Hi, Dr. Nick! NICK: Let’s check for vital signs. (He puts his stethoscope to the heart monitor.) NICK: I hear a frontline- TRENT: That’s flat-line. NICK: Anyway, just to be safe, we better pull the plug. LI: (yanks it out) Yoink! PHILIPS: Just a minute, Ms. Li! How can you be so cold? LI: (dark look) You have no idea the trouble that girl has put me through… (Begin music montage to Tchaichovsky’s “1812 Overture.”) (Li viewing the altered “student life” poster [4].) (Split screen of Helen and Li on the phone, with Li looking alarmed.) (Li and Helen on the Princess Fairy [5], with a competitive look in their eyes and cards in their hands.) (Li and Helen in army tent, arguing venomously [6].) (Return to the present, with Li turning red.) JANE: Um, Ms. Li, are you okay? LI: Glork… (She passes out.) SHOT: OUTSIDE HOSPITAL (A voice comes over a PA system.) VOICE: Code blue… code blue… COMMERCIAL LEAD-IN: LI PASSING OUT 1.) I adore that commercial for, I think it was a car. It’s got these guys driving all hyped up, and then it goes, “3 hours and 22 minutes later…” and they’re all solemn. I just love that version of “Viva Las Vegas.” It’s like Swingers. “Vegas, baby, Vegas!” 2.) How about that Aiwa commercial with the guy turning up the stereo so the girl by the pool can hear it? I like the song for that one, too. END COMMERCIALS SCENE: HOSP. HALLWAY MUSIC: (Trent and Jane are talking.) JANE: Wow! I can't believe Ms. Li had three simultaneous heart attacks! TRENT: (uneasy chuckle) Yeah, that was great. (Uncomfortable silence) JANE: You're worried what to say to Daria. TRENT: Yeah. I don't know if she'll even speak to me. VOICE: I know how you can talk to her. (Trent looks down. It's the kid from The 6th Sense!) KID: Talk to her while she's asleep. Then she'll listen to you and she won't even know it. TRENT: (chuckles) Thanks, kid. (He walks away.) JANE: Who was that? TRENT: (walking away) I'm as puzzled as you. SCENE: DARIA’S HOSP. ROOM (Trent is standing by Daria’s bed.) TRENT: Daria… I know you probably can’t hear me, but I’m okay with being deluded into thinking you can. I know how you feel-well, felt. (Flashback to Trent, Jesse, Jane and Daria in the basement of Casa Lane [7]. Daria is blushing and looking downward as Trent says something.) TRENT: I’m not as oblivious as people think. (Flashback to the flea market [8], where Jane tells Daria, "In ten years he'll emerge as a butterfly… I guess you're gonna wait.") TRENT: I just didn't realize I felt the same way. And I can't even believe my Quinn affair right now. I guess she was the closest I could get to you, being your own flesh and blood. (Flashback to Quinn saying to Daria, "My own flesh and blood, Daria, my own flesh and blood."[9].) TRENT: But I don't expect you to reciprocate at all anymore. I don't expect you to even speak to me again. (He leaves) (After about a minute, Daria opens her eyes. We see from her view, cloudy, as she is not wearing her glasses.) DARIA: …but he was just here! (We now see Daria sitting upright, her arm in a cast. She flops back down on the bed.) DARIA: It was just a dream. Who was that guy anyway? COMMERCIAL LEAD-IN: TRENT WALKING OUT 1.) I really liked that recent Levi's ad with the little yellow guy bopping to some weird techno beat. 2.) And what about that Aiwa ad with the dancing chicken carcass? (Vegans please accept my apologies.) END COMMERCIALS SCENE: HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM MUSIC: "Zombie" by the Cranberries (Jane, Quinn, Trent and Jesse are all sitting in the requisite uncomfortable plastic chairs, looking extremely tired.) (Enter Dr. Philips.) PHILIPS: I have good news and bad news. JANE: (uneasy) Uh-huh? PHILIPS: First, Daria's out of the coma. (Everyone is shocked in a happy way.) PHILIPS: But I'm afraid she has amnesia. (Their faces fall.) TRENT: Will she ever snap out of it? PHILIPS: I don’t know. It's unclear right now, but you guys should spend a lot of time with her and show her things having to do with her life, things that could trigger memories. It will be weird at first, but she'll be better soon JANE: I'll bet that's the last time you take advice from children. (Trent just looks bummed.) SCENE: DARIA'S ROOM (Everyone's gathered around Daria, who is sitting up in bed. She stares at them curiously.) DARIA: And you are who? JANE: Jane. That redhead is your sister Quinn, the guy is Trent, my brother. DARIA: Okay, Jane, Quinn, Trent. You do look familiar. JANE: I'm sure you'll remember DARIA: All this is confusing. If it's not too rude I'd like to take a nap and think things over. JANE: (worried) Dr. Philips, are you sure she should be going back to sleep? PHILIPS: It's fine. (They all leave.) (Daria sits back in bed.) DARIA: I know I should remember them and what happened. I remember little bits… (Flashback to Quinn and Trent dancing.) DARIA: So the redhead and the guy are a couple… (Flashback to her running away.) DARIA: Where was I going? (She rolls over and fluffs a pillow.) DARIA: So… tired. I'll just (yawns) sleep awhile… (She lies down and goes to sleep.) (Fade to black inter-cut with Daria tossing and turning in bed. The scenes of Daria grow darker and darker, to suggest that night is falling. The black scenes have voices.) DARIA: Go to hell Morgandorffer. QUINN: I didn't mean to do it! TODD: Well, fancy meeting you here…. DARIA: (scream) (Daria wakes up with a little shriek. We see from her view a translucent image of a normally dressed Daria. The hospitalized Daria leaps up, scared.) DARIA: Who are you? DARIA2: I'm Emily Sullivan. Did I leave an enema bag here? (Blank stare from Daria. Daria2 slaps her forehead.) DARIA2: Remember the other time you were hospitalized? (Blank stare.) DARIA2: I didn't think it would come to this… (She walks over and puts her fingers to Daria's temples, a la Eric Draven in The Crow. Daria gets a flash of herself in the hospital with the famous rash, Jane, Brittany, Kevin, Mack, Jodie, and Mrs. Sullivan.) (Daria1 looks surprised, but clearly recognizes the scene.) DARIA: For real, who are you? DARIA2: I'm your memory. We got detached when you pulled the van stunt- DARIA: Van stunt? DARIA2: (to self) What a character God assigns me. She thinks it's easy being a trauma-sponge to a pediatric-rape victim-slash-child of a practically broken home-slash- DARIA: (stands) SHUT UP! I don't remember any of this, and from what I hear you shouldn't blame me for it either! Just tell me how to remember! DARIA2: Stand still. (Daria2 steps back into Daria1. Very eerie-looking. Daria1 immediately collapses. Fade to black.) (Hazy images of Jane, Trent and Quinn looking at the screen within eye-shaped holes appear [Daria's POV].) TRENT: She's coming out of it… (Daria looks up at the TV. That old episode of Full House where the little girl falls of the horse and gets amnesia is on. She shakes her head as if she can't believe what she's seeing.) DARIA: I dreamed with semblance to family programming? I suddenly feel so dirty. QUINN: She's got her memory back! (goes to hug Daria, but is shoved away roughly by Daria.) DARIA: That's right, which means I remember all betrayals and transgressions, however feeble-minded, by you, Quinn. And you- (turns to Trent) I'd die perfectly happy never seeing you again. Now get out, everyone. TRENT: But, Daria, I l- DARIA: OUT! (Everyone leaves, save Trent. Daria looks vehemently at him.) DARIA: Well, what are you waiting for? TRENT: Well, there's nothing to say that can excuse what I did. I did an undefendable thing, and I don't expect you to forgive me. But if you could, listen to my side. DARIA: (expectant) Speak. TRENT: My thing with Quinn was because of a bunch of stuff, I guess. It all started when we went to that club in Montreal. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I agreed to dance with her when you got us pizza. We got to talking, and she was actually intelligent under all that varnish. I was a bit enamored with her because of that, and well- because she was related to you. DARIA: I don't follow. TRENT: What I'm saying is that I love you. And Quinn was biologically the closest I could come, or so I thought. DARIA: You knew I had feelings for you, why didn't you come forward? TRENT: Fear of rejection. (disbelieving look from Daria) Look, I honestly didn't know- it only occurred to me in retrospect when I was out looking for you the other night. DARIA: Mm hmm. TRENT: You don't believe me? DARIA: How do I know you're for real and not doing some pity service? TRENT: Would I have gone looking for you all night and saved you from a rapist? DARIA: (smirks) True, but there's one hole in your story. (Expectant look from Trent) DARIA: I jumped out of that Buick myself, dear. (They laugh. Well, Trent kind of hacks, but you get it…) SHOT: OUTSIDE DARIA'S HOSP. ROOM DARIA: (VO) Ms. Li tried to do what? THE END ROLL CREDITS AND ALTER EGOS FOOTNOTES (1) Yes, that’s a reference to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (2) And that’s a reference to The Simpsons. (3) From “Ill.” (4) From “Arts N Crass.” (5) From “Just Add Water.” (6) From "The Daria Hunter." (7) From “Road Worrier.” (8) From "That Was Then…" (9) From "Quinn The Brain."