Daria in: Flash in the Pan Scene 1: Lawndale High School. Daria and Jane are walking down the hallway. Daria: No way. Dracula would simply hypnotizes Freddy and Jason and Frankenstien beats the crap out of both of them. Jane: But Freddy's a ghost! I doubt Drac can simply give Krueger the evil eye and turn him him into a slave. Ms. Li (over the intercom): Exciting news! I've just been informed that N'Sync will performing at the Lawndale High Football field this Friday! Tickets are $250 and any student not buying a ticket or refuses to attend the concert will be suspended. Jane: Damnit! I knew I shouldn't of walked under that ladder! Daria: Tell me about it! Jodie walks towards Daria. Jodie: This sucks doesn't it? Daria: Tell me about it. Jodie: Even after I sent all those letters to get some more diverse musicians to come and perform at Lawndale, Ms. Li turns around and hires these these's crap for brains. Ms. Li: Attention all students: we need female volunteers to come to the office and audition for the roll of "Girls being Serenaded" at Friday's N'Sync Concert. Suddenly a mob a girls come running down the hallway. Daria, Jane, and Jodie hug the wall as the mob fills the hallways. Scene 2: Lawndale High Cafeteria Kevin and Brittany are eating lunch. Ms. Li (on the intercom): ...and audition for the roll of "Girl being Serenaded" at Friday's N'Sync Concert. Brittany- Eep! I've gotta go! Kevin grabs her arm and keeps her from running off. Kevin (in a VERY jealous voice): You dumping me to go run off to be with N'Sync? Brittany (pauses for a second): Uh.....Yes!!! Brittany squirms free and runs off, passing the three J's. Kevin (slamming his fist on the table)- Damn it! The three J's walk next to Kevin. Joey- What's wrong? Kevin (dejected tone)- Brittany blew me off to go sign up for that N'Sync thingy. Jeffy (in a holier than now tone)- Well at least Quinn doesn't go for that sissy "singers" like them. She likes real men like us! Jamie- Actually.... I saw her and the rest of the Fashion Club join that mob going down to sign up. Jeffy hits Jamie in the shoulder. Jamie- That hurt! Scene 3: Morgendorffer kitchen. The whole family is sitting at the table eating. Quinn has a very happy look on her face as she talks. Quinn- So the entire Fashion Club and Brittany are going to be on stage so that N'Sync can sing to us! Helen- That's great!! Does this mean we'll still have to pay $250 for your ticket? Quinn- The Fashion Club's going to be using the money from our treasury to pay for the tickets. I WILL be needing money however for a new wardrobe and make-over. Jake (pulling out his wallet)- How much? Daria (getting up)- I'm heading out to Jane's house. Helen- Will you be needing anything for the concert Daria? A new outfit? Daria- How about a class action law suit against Ms. Li for making me attend. Helen- Daria, I'd thought you'd support this concert. The funds are going towards fixing the school library. Daria (flashing her Mona Lisa smile)- How do you know the money isn't going towards installing motion detectors all other school? Scene 4: Jane's room Jane and the rest of Mystic Spiral (who are topless) are already there. Jane's painting something on Trent's back. Sick Sad World announcer: Are there Invisible people living in your house rent free? Invisible freeloaders on the next Sick Sad World! Daria walks into the room. Daria- Let me guess, you're starting you "body painting" artistic period. Trent- No, Daria. We're getting ready for tomorrow's concert. Nick- We're gonna crash it and teach those boybands a lesson. Daria (in a monotone voice)- OK, I'll just leave now before I become an acomplice. Daria, walking backwards, heads for the door. Trent- We're not going to kill anyone. We're just gonna streak across the stage naked with the words "Backstreet Boys Suck". Jane- It's N'Sync, not Backstreet Boys. Trent- Whatever. Jane- Wanna join us Daria? Daria- Streak across the football field in the nude? In front of the entire school? Why don't I just take some nude photos of myself and stick them on the internet. That way I can at least make some money doing it. Trent (in a downbeat tone)- Well we won't force you... Daria (to herself)- For the love of God. (out loud) I'm in. Jane (holding up two rubber masks, one of Bill Clinton and the other Richard Nixon)- You want Nixon or Slick Willy? Daria (while grabbing the Nixon Mask)- I'll take Nixon. Scene 6: The Football field. Backstage. The Fashion Club and Brittany are all dressed up and waiting to be brought onstage. Staci is hyperventilating and Brittany looks like she's going to cry. Sandi (grabbing Brittany by the shoulder)- Don't you dare cry! Brittany- But my Kev.. Sandi (in a mean tone)- Forget about Kevin! In five minutes we are going to be serenaded by N'Sync! Forget about him! Suddenly, from Quinn's POV, we see Daria, wearing a trench coat behind the refreshment stand. Quinn- I have to go use the bathroom! Tell the stage crew I'll be back in a minute. Quinn leaves as the stage manager comes over to the girls. Stage Manager-Where'd Quinn Morgendoffer go? Sandi- I think the excitement got to her and she left. Staci- No she.. Sandi gives her the evil eye. Staci- She left. Sandi smiles. Scene 7: Daria, Jane, Trent, Jesse, and Max are all in yellowish brown trenchcoats behind the refreshment stand. Daria (eyes looking at the sky)- Don't let anyone see us in these hideous trenchcoats. Jane- So you'd rather be hanging around naked? Daria's face turns red. Trent lets out a chuckle that turns into a coughs. Max- Don't worry! By the time we get through laying the smack down on those jabronis onstage, everyone in the world will see rooty poos for the no talented hacks they are! Suddenly Mr. DeMartino appears behind them. DeMartino- DARIA!!! JANE!!! Daria (shocked)- Eep! DeMartino- I thought you'd be the last PERSON who'd try to copycat the VIOLENT actions of FELLOW PSYCHOPATHS that seem to be POPPING UP every time I turn on MY TELIVISION!!!! Daria- We're not going too... DeMartino- Just promise me one thing Daria and I'll let you DO this STUPID thing your about to DO: kill Britany and Kevin! Those two morans are the portrait of THE TYPE of people your FELLOW MADMEN SEEM to hate but never seem to ever KILL!!! DeMartino leaves. Daria and Jane look at each other, not sure what to say. Daria- I'm not sure if I should be shocked that DeMartino thinks we're going to shoot everyone, or that he wants me to kill Brittany and Kevin for him. Max (in a scared tone)- Do you think he'll tell anyone? Trent- Quiet! They're about to come out! Everyone get ready to streak! Quinn (offcamera)- Streak!!! Daria (looking at the sky)- Please God, an aneurysm! Announcer (Off camera)- And now....N'Sync!!!! Quinn- OhmyGod! They've started without me!!!! Trent (offcamera)- Let's go! Daria pulls her Nixon mask over her face. Daria- God help me! Scene 8: The stage. N'Sync are onstage performing "Tearin' up my heart" while Sandi, Staci, Tiffani, and Brittany are onstage all glassy eyed at the site of the boyband. Suddenly there is screaming as three naked males and two female bodies ran across the stage. On the back of the three males were "Down with Pop Music!", "Lawndale's a Mystic Spiral town!" and "N'Sync sucks!". Sandi- OhmyGod! Tiffani- Eww! Tattoos! Sandi- I'm blind! I'm blind! Brittany (yawning)- It's just a (bends over and whispers something into Staci's ear). Staci- Disgusting!!! Sandi gets up and grabs Daria's arm. Sandi- Ruin my moment will you? Sandi prepares to hit Daria when Justin (a member of N'Sync) grabs Sandi's arm and keeps her from hitting Daria, who breaks Sandi's grip. Justin- You shouldn't be hitting people! Sandi (in a very angry tone)- Shut the fuck up! Sandi knees Justin in the groin, causing him to keel over. Andrea (off camera)- Those flashers are right! A chair is flung at the stage, barely missing Sandi. Lance (another N'Syncer)grabs Sandi. Lance - What's up with that attitude of yours? Suddenly, out of nowhere Joey, Jamie, and Jeffy storm the stage and pounce Lance. Suddenly the rest of N'Sync pounces on them. Kevin then runs on stage, and grabs Brittany and they begin to kiss. Brittany- I love you! Kevin- I know you do! They kiss as more chairs are thrown onto the stage. Scene 9 Still on stage Daria, still nude and wearing her Nixon mask, runs offstage. From her point of view, we see Ms. Li blocking her path. Li's holding the leashes of three bloodhounds. Daria- Damn it! Li- Stop right there! I won't hesitate to let these dogs maul you to death!!! Daria goes around runs right at Li, knocking her on her side. The dogs, now free, run off into the rioting audiance. Daria heads towards the Tank, and jumps in. Daria (taking off her mask)- Thank God that's over! Cut to Daria's POV. Jane, Trent, Max, and Jesse (who's driving) all have their clothes on. Daria looks down at herself. She's the only one that's naked. Daria- You still have that glue gun on you Jane? Jane (looking around then picks something off of the floor. It's a glue gun)- Yep. Daria- Then pass me the glue stick so I can eat it and end this nightmare. Trent- Nice body Daria...for a kid your age. Trent tosses Daria her clothes. Daria's face turn red. Scene 10: Morgendorffer living room. The next day. Daria, Quinn, and Helen are watching the News. Newscaster- ...but luckily no one was hurt. Meanwhile parents of students at Lawndale High, through their attorney Helen Morgendorffer, have filed a restraining order on the school preventing Lawndale High School's Principal Angela Li from ordering the student body to participate in a nude line up so that Li could find and expelled any student she feels may have been involved in last night's riot. Ms. Li also is being questioned by the Mrs. Morgendorffer over a deal struck by Li and Ticketmaster, who helped put up $1500 used to convert the school's football field into the a stage for the concert as well as rumors that the proceeds from the concert were to be used to pay for motion detectors installed into the school instead of repairs to the library, which was what was advertised. Helen turns the tv off. Daria- Did I ever tell you how much I love you? Phone rings. Helen- I'll get it. Helen leaves the room. Quinn gets up and heads to the door. Quinn- My date should be here any minute Daria. Shouldn't you be working on my term paper on Walden? It's do tomorrow. Daria (getting up)- Yesa massa, I be workin' on yah papah. Quinn- Talk like a normal person. Daria- Quality sarcasm's lost on you. I don't know why even try. Quinn- Just remember who's in control. I'm sure mom and dad and the police would love to know it was you and you're friend and her brother's band that streak everyone at the N'Sync concert. Daria- And when does my enslavement end? Quinn- When I graduate! Car horn beeps. Quinn- My date's here! Quinn leaves the house. Seconds later Jane walks in. Jane- Well? Daria- Quinn won't squeal on us, but I have to do all of her homework untill she graduates. Jane- Bummer. Tried counter-blackmailing her? Daria- Well there is her diary. But that's my big gun. I've been saving that for an emergency. Jane- And this isn't? Daria- Good point. When she get's back I'll tell her to shorten the time period to the end of the week or I'll send photocopies of some rather incriminating pages of her diary to the members of the Fashion Club. Jane- And that'll get her to cave in? Daria- You haven't read her diary. There's enough dirt in it to get Quinn expelled from the Fashion Club and make her a social pariah for the rest of her teen life. Jane- By the way, I was wondering if you'd be willing to let me paint you in the nude, considering how everyone in town has seen you naked. Daria- You must be joking.... Cut to credits. End music is "The Streak" by Ray Stevens Alter Egos include- Barberella Daria Jason Vorhees Kevin Pinhead Trent Betty Boop Brittany Xena Barch Helen as a knight (same as from "Write where it hurts") James Bond Mack Incredible Hulk O'Neill and Daria standing over Quinn's grave The End Daria created and is property of MTV N'Sync and the song "Tearin' Up My Heart" are property of N'Synch (I believe)