I guess this is where I should write stuff like "This is my first fanfic so bear with me" and all. Anyway, after a week of reading Daria fan fiction and stuff, I've finally broken down and have decided to work on my own fanfic. If you like it, read the end comments, okay? Thanks a million! BTW, I used C.E. Forman's format style, since I guess most of you would feel comfortable with it. --IN A NUTSHELL: Trent and Mystik Spiral get an offer from a mysterious man to open for a well-known rock band whose tour stops at Lawndale. Trent is overjoyed, but Daria and Jane are suspicious. Meanwhile, Quinn wins four tickets, supposedly for a *boy band* concert in Lawndale. Coincidence? --SPECIAL NOTES: Boy band lovers, please don't be offended by what you're going to read here! Remember: it's just a fanfic... ;) (opening scenes and music) Daria in "Conned Men" by jRev (email: jrevc@pacific.net.ph) ACT 1. INT.: MCGRUNDY'S PUB. (Mystik Spiral is finishing their act on the stage. Jesse mindlessly strums chords while headbanging, and Max goes wild on the drums. Trent does a bluesy riff, ending with a heavy power chord and a bow.) TRENT: (into mike.) Thank you, and good night. (Scattered applause.) TRENT: (to the band.) I'll be outside, guys. CUT TO: EXT.: MCGRUNDY'S PUB, EVENING. (Trent exits the pub, guitar in hand. He's rubbing his chin thoughfully when a silhouette of a man appears behind him.) DEEP VOICE: Excuse me. TRENT: Eh? Yeah? DEEP VOICE: You're from that band, right? Mystik Spiral? TRENT: Yeah. DEEP VOICE: Are you Trent Lane? TRENT: Yeah. DEEP VOICE: Why don't we go somewhere so we could talk? (Trent narrows his eyes.) TRENT: Who're you? (A silhouette of a hand gives Trent a business card. He looks at it for a while, then looks up to the man.) CUT TO: EXT.: LANE RESIDENCE, EVENING. CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM. (Trent enters with his guitar case, grinning like an idiot. He drops his guitar on the floor and plops down on the couch, his hands under his head. He starts laughing to himself.) JANE: (enters from kitchen.) What, Nick accepted your bet and played naked like Flea? TRENT: Oh, hi, Janey. (sits up.) Nah, nothing like that. Here. (He hands Jane the man's business card. Jane looks at it and raises her eyebrows.) JANE: "R.R. Shaw Entertainment Services?" What is this? TRENT: He manages bands and stuff. He was at McGrundy's tonight and he liked out act. Said we might make it big. JANE: This isn't some rip-off con artist thing, is it? TRENT: (feigns hurt.) Don't you think we're that good, Janey? JANE: (pretends to consider what he said.) Umm, let you know tomorrow. (she leaves.) TRENT: Yeah, yeah. (he looks at the business card again and laughs.) CUT TO: EXT.: LAWNDALE HIGH, NEXT MORNING. CUT TO: INT.: LAWNDALE HIGH, MR. DEMARTINO'S CLASSROOM. (The class is livelier than usual, to Mr. DeMartino's chagrin. Paper airplanes are flying everywhere, and Kevin is busy making out with Brittany. Jane is drawing something on a sheet of paper, while Daria looks on, observing.) DEMARTINO: (eye twitching.) As I was SAYing...AS I was saying...as I WAS saying...DAMMIT will EVERYONE SHUT UP? (No reaction. The class continues to be rowdy.) DEMARTINO: (to himself.) You don't want to go back to the loony bin, Anthony. Keep your cool. (to class.) CLASS? (Still no reaction. Cut to shot of Daria and Jane.) JANE: It's coming. It's gonna happen. DARIA: Uh-huh. So what else is new? DEMARTINO: (offscreen.) AUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH! (Cut to shot of class, staring at the camera, frozen. DeMartino's scream echoes throughout.) DISSOLVE TO: INT.: LAWNDALE HIGH SCHOOL, MR. DEMARTINO'S CLASSROOM, MINUTES LATER. (Ms. Li has replaced Mr. DeMartino in front of the class. The class is silent, save for Brittany's constant sobbing.) LI: I'm afraid Mr. DeMartino will not be able to make it on time to finish your class. This being the week's last period-- BRITTANY: (offscreen.) But--but he SCARED me, Kevvy! KEVIN: (offscreen.) It's okay, babe...I'll protect you! LI: THIS BEING THE WEEK'S LAST PERIOD, I've decided to dismiss you early. You may visit Mr. DeMartino in the hospital. Monetary donations are welcome. Address checks to the Lawndale High School Board. Dismissed! CUT TO: EXT.: SIDEWALK. (Daria and Jane are walking home from school.) JANE: That was the worst one yet! DARIA: People like DeMartino make school worth going to everyday. JANE: Not to mention a helluva lot more fun! You do consider being surrounded by psychotic teachers and dumb jocks fun, don't you? DARIA: Why not? I've lived through seventeen years of it. CUT TO: EXT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE. (Daria and Jane walk up to Daria's house. Sandi's car is parked outside.) DARIA: Fashion Club alert. Let's go to your house. (They continue walking.) CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM. (Quinn and her Fashion Club cohorts are gathered around the TV set.) STACY: Thanks again for inviting us over to watch the five-hour special of "2001: A Fashion Odyssey," Quinn! TIFFANY: Yeeeaaaah, thaaaat was niiiiice of youuuuuu. QUINN: Aww, cut it out, you guys! Anyway, what else can we do? When I found out that Sandi's TV was on the blink, I had to do something. I'm glad you guys are here. SANDI: So, Quinn, are you saying that you're glad that our TV set is broken? QUINN: Of course not, Sandi! What I meant was-- SANDI: Gee, if Quinn's TV is so much more reliable, maybe QUINN should be the pres-- QUINN: Sandi, we're not going to go through this again, are we? I thought this discussion was, you know, over. SANDI: Are you saying that I'm not keeping up with the times? TIFFANY: Loooook, it's staaaartiiiiing. (2001 music starts playing. Cut to frontal shot of FC staring at the screen.) CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, KITCHEN. (Trent is on the phone when Daria and Jane enter. He looks excited.) TRENT: He'll call me back in a few minutes? Okay. Okay. Thanks. Bye. (he hangs up and sees the girls.) Hi Janey, Daria. DARIA: Mm. JANE: Hey, was that--? TRENT: Mr. Shaw's secretary. She said he'll call me back. DARIA: "Mr. Shaw?" TRENT: He's Mystik Spiral's new manager. DARIA: Sounds like a con artist. (Trent surprises Daria with a glare.) JANE: Trent met him last night at McGrundy's. From what I've been hearing, this guy is the real McCoy. DARIA: Mm. (The phone in the kitchen rings. Trent dives for it with surprising enthusiasm.) TRENT: Yeah? (Cut to shot of Daria and Jane.) DARIA: I've never seen Trent get excited and all about anything before. JANE: Well, there WAS the time when Jimi Hendrix rose up from the grave and gave Trent a call during Halloween. Except that it was acutally their drummer, Max. Trent waited beside the phone for a week before he found out. DARIA: That Jimi Hendrix is dead? (Jane smirks and looks at Trent.) TRENT: Sure, Mr. Shaw! Hey, thanks a lot! (Cut to shot of Daria and Jane looking at each other and shrugging.) DARIA: He IS acting weird, but at least he hasn't reached the stage of going goo-goo ga-ga over something that's really superficial. CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM. (Same shot of FC watching TV as before.) FEMALE INTERVIEWER: (offscreen.) So, Cindy, do you have anything else to say before we go? BUBBLY, AIRHEADED VOICE: (OS.) Like, no, not really! INTERVIEWER: (OS.) How about you, Tyra? AIRHEADED, SHALLOW VOICE: (OS.) Platform shoes! Neat! INTERVIEWER: (OS.) Right. And you, Claudia? SHALLOW, BUBBLY VOICE: (OS.) Do you like my nail polish? TIFFANY: Thiiiis show is soooooo coooooool. CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, KITCHEN. (Trent, Jane and Daria are seated around the kitchen table.) JANE: So, anything new with Mr. Shaw? TRENT: You're not going to belive this, Janey. He got us an audition to open for Ciggie Butt when they start their tour next week! JANE: No. TRENT: Yep. JANE: Mystik Spiral is going to tour with Ciggie Butt? TRENT: Ciggie Butt! DARIA: What the hell is Ciggie Butt? TRENT: We would've seen them perform live if we ever got to Alternapalooza last year. DARIA: Just when I thought names couldn't get any sillier. Maybe you guys should change your name to Junkie's Pot. TRENT: Ciggie Butt...Junkie's Pot...hmm... JANE: Well, we'll leave you to your thinking, Trent-o. C'mon, Daria, let's watch TV. CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM. (Still the same shot as before.) FEMALE ANNOUNCER: (OS.) And now, for our special "Guess the name of the band and the song" contest! We will play a snippet of a song, and--you guessed it!--you will have to guess the name of the band and the song! The first to call and answer correctly will win a special prize from the 2001 team! (A song by [insert name of cheesiest boy band you know here] starts playing. All four FC members suddenly dive for the phone.) ALL: I know it! Me! Me! (Finally Quinn gets up from the tangle with the cordless in her hand.) QUINN: Hello, 2001 Fashion Odyssey? I know the answer! I know it! It's [stupid title of a song that has "girl" and "baby" written all over it] sung by [aforementioned boy band name here]! PHONE OPERATOR: (OS.) You're absolutely correct! May I have your full name, age and phone number? QUINN: (whispers to FC.) I got it! I got it! SANDI: Gee, if Quinn can win in a TV show contest, maybe she should be-- (Sandi's voice is drowned out by Stacy's squeal of joy. Sandi glares.) CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, JANE'S BEDROOM. SICK SAD WORLD ANNOUNCER: (OS.)They sold their souls to the devil, and all they got was this stupid interview! Underappreciated Satanist rock stars, next on Sick Sad World! DARIA: Don't you smell some kind of a scam here? Does Trent really trust this Mr. Shaw guy? JANE: All I can say is that Mystik Spiral has got NOTHING to lose. DARIA: But you have your suspicions, right? JANE: Heck, I've never even seen the guy, Daria. Anyway, you don't have to get concerned or anything about Trent. He doesn't even have the brains to be concerned about himself. DARIA: Okay. I'd just, you know, hate to see anyone I know get caught up in a scam by some two-bit con artist. Change the channel, will you? (Jane presses a button on the remote.) FEMALE ANNOUNCER: (OS.) Let's welcome our winning caller for our "Guess the name of the band and the song" contest, Quinn Morgendorffer! Hello, Quinn? QUINN'S VOICE: (OS.) Hi! DARIA: Okay, almost anyone. **************** COMMERCIAL BREAK **************** ACT 2. EXT.: LAWNDALE GENERAL HOSPITAL, THE NEXT MORNING. CUT TO: INT.: LAWNDALE GENERAL HOSPITAL, MR. DEMARTINO'S ROOM. (Mr. O'Neill is here, sitting in the chair beside Mr. DeMartino's bed.) O'NEILL: You see, Anthony, what I'm saying is that maybe you need to develop a new approach to deal with these kids. Maybe the hard- assed method is a bet, heh heh, out of date? DEMARTINO: And I SUPPOSE I should try MELLOWING out like YOU do and start AVERAGING three or four walk-outs while crying every WEEK! O'NEILL: (Lower lip trembles but he regains his composure.) Not at all, Anthony! I'm just saying that perhaps, instead of relying on intimidation, it might help you to start to get to know your students better! DEMARTINO: I know ALL that there is to know about my STUDENTS! That boy, Thompson, for instance... O'NEILL: Curtis might be a little slow, but-- DEMARTINO: KEVIN. O'NEILL: Oh, my. (Titters.) Yes, Kevin. He might be a little slow, but just try and give him one more chance! He needs your support, not your anger. DEMARTINO: At this point, I'm WILLING to try ANYTHING. O'NEILL: Great! I have a plan... CUT TO: EXT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, MORNING. CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, KITCHEN. (Daria, Quinn and Helen are in their usual places. Jake walks in, holding a stack of mail.) JAKE: Mail's here! (He places the stack on the table and starts shuffling through them.) Bills, bills, bills. What do they think I am? I'm only a man, damn it! But nooooo, these pigs see me as some big fat wallet that they can dig into anytime they--Quinn, this is for you, honey. Now where was I? HELEN: Sit down, Jake. (Jake takes his seat.) Quinn, you have mail? DARIA: Maybe they finally accepted your application to "Thumbsuckers Anonymous." HELEN: Daria! JAKE: Don't worry, Quinn! I know how it feels like to be alone and unappreciated! Oh, boy, DO I! I don't care if you still suck your thumb when you're alone and afraid! Why, I-- HELEN: Jake! Quinn, why don't you open it, dearie? QUINN: (Looks inside envelope.) Oh my GOD! I almost forgot! I won the contest on "2001: A Fashion Odyssey" last night! DARIA: Oh, I remember now. I heard you over the TV last night. I thought I was having a nightmare. QUINN: Look! Tickets for four to the [THAT boy band] concert in Lawndale next week! HELEN: That's great, dear. Now we can all go! QUINN and DARIA: NO!!! CUT TO: EXT.: LANE RESIDENCE, MORNING. CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, JANE'S ROOM. (Phone rings twice.) JANE: (In bed, ruffled hair and all.) Hello? Who's this? I'm sorry, but he won't be awake for a couple of-- TRENT'S VOICE: (OS on the other line, and very much awake.) Hello? Mr. Shaw? JANE: Oh, brother. (She hangs up and looks at the clock. It's 7 in the morning.) It's the end of the world. CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, TRENT'S ROOM. (Trent is sitting up with his guitar on his lap. He's on the phone.) MR. SHAW (DEEP VOICE): (OS.) I'm glad I could reach you this morning, Trent. TRENT: (Chuckles nervously.) No problem, Mr. Shaw. Any news about the auditions? MR. SHAW: (OS.) Do you think you can make it if we set it this afternoon? I'll have someone ready to pick you up. TRENT: Hell, sure, Mr. Shaw! Anything you say! MR. SHAW: Great! Ciggie Butt will be observing you. TRENT: That's great. Man, this is so exciting! MR. SHAW: (Laughs.) I'm sure it is. Don't worry, soon bands will be dying to open for you, Trent. I'm sure of it. TRENT: Thanks. We'll be ready. MR. SHAW: See you this afternoon. (Hangs up.) TRENT: (Strums his guitar.) Ciggie Butt. (Laughs.) CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, DARIA'S ROOM. (Daria is in a split-screen phone conversation with Jane.) DARIA: Ciggie Butt. JANE: Okay, it sounds dumb, but come on. If a group with a name like [THE boy band] can make it big... DARIA: That reminds me. Quinn won four tickets to their concert here in Lawndale next week. JANE: For Ciggie Butt? DARIA: Can you stop saying that? It makes me want to jump out the window or something. No, I'm talking about [boy band! :)]. JANE: That's a coincidence. Ciggie Butt is performing next Saturday, too. DARIA: Hopefully not in the same place. JANE: There'll be hell to pay if that happens. DARIA: Where WILL Ciggie Butt perform? Lawndale doesn't have a big enough spot to set up a concert? JANE: Can you say "Laaaaawndale High?" (There is a pause. Daria looks incredulous.) DARIA: This is ridiculous. Ms. Li is actually allowing an indie-rock band whose name promotes smoking to play on campus? JANE: There's a woman who needs to set her morals straight. DARIA: She needs to find them first. JANE: Point taken. DARIA: And I take it that Trent told you all about this? JANE: Yep. Mr. Shaw says it's all being kept hush-hush. DARIA: That's stupid. Why would a band go on a tour without advertising it first? Why is Ciggie Butt going to Lawndale anyway, if they're so big? JANE: Beats me. DARIA: I think this is a fraud. JANE: I think I'm starting to believe you, partner. CUT TO: EXT.: LANE RESIDENCE, AFTERNOON. (An expensive-looking van pulls up the driveway.) CUT TO: INT.: LANE RESIDENCE, LIVING ROOM. (Mystik Spiral is waiting in here with their gear. Daria and Jane are also here.) JANE: So, can we come with you guys? TRENT: I guess. If there's space left in the van. MAX: I still can't understand why we can't take the Tank! It's, like, it's US! (Doorbell rings.) JESSE: They're here. Cool. (Trent opens the door to a youngish man dressed as a chauffeur.) MAN: (In annoying nasal voice.) Hello, uh, Mr. Shaw sent me to pick up Mystik Spiral? TRENT: Right. Hold on. (to band.) Let's get everything loaded up, guys. MAN: Right. I'll wait for you in the van. TRENT: By the way, do you mind if my sister and her friend tag along? They sorta want to see us audition. MAN: Uh, I'm sorry, but Mr. Shaw doesn't want any guests. It's the rules. You know, hush-hush? (He leaves.) TRENT: (Walks up to Daria and Jane.) I guess you'll both have to sit this one out. Sorry. JANE: S'fine. DARIA: Mm. TRENT: (Picking up his guitar case.) Don't worry. You can catch us when we play next week. (He smiles and leaves with the band.) MAX: (OS.) We're going to ride in THIS? What a hunk of JUNK! (Daria and Jane listen to the van drive off, then they look at each other and run outside.) CUT TO: EXT.: LANE RESIDENCE, AFTERNOON. (Soon, a battered blue car drives up.) JANE: Right on schedule. TOM: Hi Jane, Daria. (Jane gets in beside Tom, while Daria settles down in the back seat.) JANE: Follow that van, driver! TOM: You got it. (He accelerates.) Hey, Daria. Having fun yet? DARIA: Not until this hunk of junk stalls in traffic. (Tom and Jane chuckle.) CUT TO: EXT.: SLUMMY-LOOKING BUILDING, AFTERNOON. (Tom stops the car outside a slummy-looking building. Mr. Shaw's van is parked right outside.) TOM: Here we are, girls. Do you know what you're supposed to do? DARIA: I'm starting to feel like we're in Charlie's Angels. JANE: Yeah, and there are three of us! (She looks at Tom.) You can be Farrah Fawcett. TOM: Hah-hah. Come on. (He exits the car.) JANE: What'd I say? DARIA: I think he wanted to be Drew Barrymore. CUT TO: INT.: SLUMMY-LOOKING BUILDING, LOBBY. (Tom leads Daria and Jane inside. The nasal-voiced man stops them.) MAN: Hey! You're not supposed to be here! DARIA: We're fans of Mystik Spiral, the band that's auditioning here? Can we see them? MAN: What band? This is a warehouse, miss. (Daria, Jane and Tom look confused.) JANE: You sure? I could've sworn I saw you driving them here a while ago. (A phone rings offscreen.) MAN: There's no band here, okay? Go away. (He leaves to answer the phone.) (The three are about to leave when they hear a particularly loud guitar chord seemingly coming from downstairs.) TOM: I don't believe it. The guy was lying to us. JANE: Come on. Let's check it out. (Cut to shot of closed doorway. Tom and Jane tiptoe past it, but Daria stops.) DARIA: Listen! MAN'S VOICE: (OS.) Yes, Mr. Shaw, they're right here, auditioning. Yes, I've collected their entrance fee. (Pause.) Five hundred dollars. (Pause.) Yes. (Pause.) And they won't be able to enter the [boy band] concert next week? (Pause.) You're sure? Okay. Then we skip town. Right. (Pause.) All right, Mr. Shaw. DARIA: I was right! This was a scam! JANE: Does this mean that Lawndale High is actually host to the [boy band] concert and not Ciggie Butt? DARIA: Right. JANE: Well, that makes so much more sense. It almost makes me wish Ms. Li DID lose her morals. TOM: We should tell the band. (The door suddenly opens and the nasal man walks out.) MAN: What're YOU kids still doing here? I told you to scram! TOM: Fine, fine, whatever. (They leave.) CUT TO: INT.: TOM'S CAR. (Tom is driving. Jane and Daria are in their usual positions.) TOM: So what exactly is going on? DARIA: I think this "Mr. Shaw" charged the band five hundred bucks to play in the concert. JANE: Trent must've been excited to meet Ciggie Butt. I thought that went the other way around. DARIA: Right. JANE: And I guess that Mr. Shaw plans to skip town after the [boy band] concert. TOM: Which the band won't be able to enter because they're really not in the list! DARIA: Right! (The three are silent for a while.) JANE: What a stupid plan. I can't believe Trent fell for this scam. **************** COMMERCIAL BREAK **************** ACT 3. EXT.: LAWNDALE GENERAL HOSPITAL, MORNING THE NEXT WEEK. CUT TO: INT.: LAWNDALE GENERAL HOSPITAL, MR. DEMARTINO'S ROOM. (Mr O'Neill is once again seated beside Mr. DeMartino's bed.) O'NEILL: You're getting out of here this afternoon, Anthony! Is everything all set? DEMARTINO: For YOUR sake, I hope this WORKS. I've been stuck in here for a WEEK and I'm NOT happy about it. O'NEILL: (Chuckles nervously.) CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, DARIA'S ROOM. (Daria is on the phone talking split-screen to Jane.) DARIA: Trent still doesn't believe you? It's been a week! JANE: He said I was whacked in the head! Man, Trent must really be itching for publicity for Mystik Spiral. DARIA: I can't blame him. JANE: So what should we do now? DARIA: Just make sure they show up at school tonight. I'll take care of the rest. CUT TO: INT.: MORGENDORFFER RESIDENCE, QUINN'S ROOM. (Quinn is at her usual spot in front of the mirror when Daria knocks.) QUINN: Come in! (Her expression changes when Daria enters.) What do YOU want? DARIA: Quinn? There's a guy right outside walking a really cute puppy and I thought you might want to know. QUINN: Really? A cute puppy? (She rushes out.) Gee, I hope the guy's cute too! (Daria waits until Quinn leaves, then dips her hand in Quinn's handbag. She pulls out four tickets.) CUT TO: INT.: THE TANK, AFTERNOON. (Max is driving the tank. Beside him is Jesse, and Nick, Trent and Jane crowd in the back.) JANE: Didn't you think it was weird that neither Mr. Shaw nor Ciggie Butt showed up last week? TRENT: Nah, Mr. Shaw explained that already. Come on, Janey, quit getting on his case! He's doing us a favor and my sister is making up stories about him. JANE: What*ever*. Max, stop at that house. (Cut to shot outside the Morgendorffer house. The Tank stops in front of Daria, who gets in the back. The Tank drives off again.) JANE: Glad you can make it. DARIA: Anytime. Isn't Tom coming? JANE: He's going bowling with his friends tonight. TRENT: That's a shame. DARIA: So...excited about the big night? TRENT: Yeah, but it's weird. I don't think anyone around here knows about it. Mr. Shaw said it was hush-hush. DARIA: Who's going to be there? TRENT: I don't know. But if Ciggie Butt is going to be there, so are we. NICK: Right on! MAX and JESSE: Yeah! JANE: Oooookay. CUT TO: EXT.: LAWNDALE HIGH, SUNSET. (The Tank finds a suitable parking spot. Mystik Spiral is surprised to see the crowded parking lot.) TRENT: What did I tell you, Janey? It looks like the whole town is here to see Ciggie Butt! (Cut to shot of Daria and Jane.) JANE: (Elbowing Daria.) I wouldn't be too sure about that. (Points.) (Cut to shot of Fasion Club near the entrance. The guy collecting the tickets taps his fingers on his table impatiently.) COLLECTOR: Time's a-wastin', girls. QUINN: (Rummaging through her bag.) I'm sure the tickets were here... STACY: What's wrong? TIFFANY: I thiiiiink Quiiiin looooost the ticketssssssss. STACY: Oh, no! SANDI: That's too bad, Quinn. And you had all our hopes up, too. COLLECTOR: Well? QUINN: I-ah-kinda lost my tickets. COLLECTOR: Sorry, then. Can't go in. QUINN: But I won the contest! You can ask the people inside! COLLECTOR: No ticket, no entry. QUINN: (Exasperated.) All RIGHT, then! How much is a new ticket? SANDI: Gee, if Quinn is going to make us pay for OUR entrance, maybe we should just leave. (She walks away, and the FC follows, leaving Quinn.) QUINN: But...but... (Suddenly, the three J's run up from offscreen.) JOEY: Quinn! Would you like to watch the concert with us? JEFFY: We got you a ticket! JAMIE: It was my idea! QUINN: Awwwww...you DIDN'T! (She enters the concert grounds, the 3 J's in tow.) (Daria and Jane approach with Mystik Spiral.) TRENT: Uhh, we're opening for the show tonight. COLLECTOR: Opening? (He produces a notebook from under his table.) You fellas have a name? TRENT: Mystik Spiral. COLLECTOR: Mystik Spiral? (Chuckles.) What do you think this is, a rock concert? (He flips through his notebook.) Hey! You guys aren't even in here at all! TRENT: What? We're opening for Ciggie Butt. COLLECTOR: Ciggie Butt? What's a Ciggie Butt? TRENT: (Lunges at collector, but pulled back by Jessie and Nick.) You think you're being funny, man? JESSIE: Cool, man, cool it. NICK: I think he's telling the truth. (Silence.) MAX: Oh, man! I think we've been HAD! (Daria and Jane look at each other and roll their eyes.) (Cut to shot of the band standing beside the Tank with Daria and Jane.) JANE: See? I told you Mr. Shaw was making fools out of you guys. TRENT: I can't believe it. DARIA: He was planning to leave town with your five hundred bucks after tonight. TRENT: I'm going to kill that guy. DARIA: You have your chance. We think he's in there tonight. TRENT: But we can't even get in! DARIA: (Holds up Quinn's four tickets.) Happy New Year. TRENT: What's this? DARIA: They're called tickets. You give them to the guy over there... TRENT: (Taking the tickets.) Never mind. Come on, guys. I've got some things to say to Mr. Shaw. (Mystik Spiral saunters off.) JANE: All right, sister. Where did those tickets come from? DARIA: Remind me that I owe Quinn an apology. JANE: Not anymore. Look. (Cut to Quinn standing just inside the concert grounds, the three J's fawning over her. Outside, Sandi is fuming. Cut back to Daria and Jane.) DARIA: Good. Now come on, put this on. (She produces two IDs.) JANE: (Taking one.) Concert Committee? And where, pray tell, did THIS come from? DARIA: Easy. I had Jodie write us both up in the committee. (They approach the ticket guy.) COLLECTOR: (Sees their IDs.) Go right in, missies. DARIA: Uh, there are some instruments out back that need to be carried inside. Would you send some people to help us? COLLECTOR: (Looks over to the Tank.) Okay, no problem. (Into walkie-talkie.) Breaker, breaker, code 4, code 4. (Daria and Jane look at each other and shrug.) CUT TO: EXT.: CONCERT GROUNDS, EARLY EVENING. (Frontal shot of Mystik Spiral walking, all of them wearing dark frowns. A guy gets in the way and Max shoves him aside. The guy turns around and collars Max.) GUY: You lookin' for trouble, punk? MAX: (Grins, wide-eyed.) Ah, no! Thought you were someone else! TRENT: There he is! (Cut to shot of the back of Mr. Shaw's head. He only appears as a silhouette and appears to be wearing a hat.) MR. SHAW: Eh? TRENT: I think you owe us an explanation. MAX: Yeah! You know what happens when-- NICK: Shut up, Max. MAX: (Whimpers.) MR. SHAW: How amusing. You've finally seen through my little plot. JESSIE: Yeah! We also figured out that you were conning us! (Silence.) TRENT: Uh, okay. Now, you owe us money, Mr. Shaw. MR. SHAW: I don't have your money. I never collected your money. I was never there. TRENT: You dirty scumbag. Give it up. You'll never get away with it now. MAX: (Growls.) We dipped into his sister's college fund for that, you-- (Before anyone could react, Max lunges forward and punches Mr. Shaw, knocking him down. Fists can be seen going up and down the bottom of the shot while the rest of the band looks on.) TRENT: Whoa. JESSIE: Cool. NICK: Come on! (The rest of Mystik Spiral join in beating up Mr. Shaw. Suddenly, a voice stops all activity. Cut to shot of stage.) BLONDE BABY FACE PRETTY BOY (BBFPB): Hi Lawndale! We love you! (Resounding cheers from the 13-year-old female crowd.) GOATEED HUNK OF A MAN (GHOAM): We're [boy band]. Can you feel the love in the air? (More cheers.) CUTE SKINHEAD SLEEVELESS SHIRT DUDE (CSSSD): Yeah, baby! (More cheers.) THREE-EARRINGED LEATHER JACKET GUY (TELJG): Are you ready...to rock and bop? (Even more cheers. [Boy band] music starts. Cut to shot of Mystik Spiral. Lying on the ground is a little guy with glasses--Mr. Shaw. Mr. Shaw gets up and starts jumping up and down.) MR. SHAW: (Jumps up and down.) Yeah! [Boy band]! JESSIE: I can't believe this. He stayed in town just for THIS? TRENT: Look! (Points.) (Cut to shot of Daria and Jane waving at them from beside the stage. Their instruments are piled up beside them.) MAX: I beat him up! (Laughs maniacally.) I beat him up! NICK: Hey! I know what we can do! (Cut to shot of stage, where BBFPB, GHOAM, CSSSD and TELJG are dancing around. Jessie comes and drags BBFPB away. Trent pushes GHOAM off the stage. CSSSD runs off when Nick approaches. Max punches TELJG and starts beating him up. The rest of the band pull him off. TELJG slinks away.) GIRL BOPPER: (OS.) Hey! GUY BOPPER: (OS.) What's going on? (Suddenly, Mystik Spiral's instruments are on the stage with them.) TRENT: Hi. We're Mystik Spiral...but we might change our name. (Cut to shot of Daria and Jane beside the stage.) JANE: Amen. (Rock music starts playing, and the initially surprised people start jumping around to the beat.) GIRL ROCKER: (OS.) Right on! GUY ROCKER: (OS.) All right! (Cut to shot of people moshing, with Mr. O'Neill and Mr. DeMartino stuck in the middle.) DEMARTINO: THIS is your IDEA of RELAXING? You NITWIT! O'NEILL: (Cowers.) (Cut to shot of Mystik Spiral. Trent pauses in singing to flash Daria and Jane a wink and a smile.) (Cut to shot of Daria and Jane.) DARIA: I wonder what happened to "Mr. Shaw?" (Cut to shot of Mr. Shaw, crying on the ground.) MR. SHAW: (In between sobs.) I didn't get to see them! (Sees Mystik Spiral's $500 in his pocket.) Lousy money! (He throws the crumpled bill aside. NASAL-VOICED SIDEKICK: There, there. (Cut to shot of Mr. O'Neill and Mr. DeMartino walking away.) O'NEILL: I'm sorry this didn't work out the way I hoped, Anthony-- DEMARTINO: Hey! (He runs over and scoops up the $500.) Easy money! This wasn't such a bad idea after all. Come on, Timothy, I'm treating! (He runs off.) O'NEILL: Really? (Perks up.) Hey, wait for me! (Runs off.) (Focus back on Mr. Shaw crying, then cut to Mystik Spiral on the stage. The end credits roll.) *** THE END *** --FEEDBACK: What was your reaction to my fanfic? Comments? Suggestions? Send them over to ! Boy band lovers, flame me at the same address. --COMMENTS AND STUFF: (Warning! I can get pretty long-winded at times!) My first fanfic! I never knew how hard it was to write something like this until...well, until I tried. It took me a week to put all this together. As I write this, I haven't even given my fanfic a title yet. I'm sure I'll think one up before I'm done with this... Initially, I planned this story to be the first for a series of stories about Mystik Spiral's tour with Ciggie Butt. About halfway through the first act, though, I decided that it wouldn't be very realistic, and opted for Mr. Shaw to turn in a "con-man" instead. I knew my description of Mr. Shaw wasn't really clear, but I'll leave the actual imagery up to you. ;) I went with the Mystik Spiral plotline because I felt that the show wasn't giving the band enough attention. I wanted Mystik Spiral to have some more dimension, even if all I managed to show here was that the band was really desperate to believe anything they encounter that involves getting them publicity. There were some weak parts in here, too. I suppose Trent could have grown more apart from Jane after her accusation of Mr. Shaw, and I could have given Tom a more prominent role, but I just couldn't seem to create good enough dialogue that stuff like that. The DeMartino subplot was just something I added to resolve his breakdown at the start of the story. I thought it worked pretty okay, but it's a little out of place. I really had fun writing this, especially the names of [boy band]. BBFPB, GHOAM, CSSSD and TELJG, take a bow! I planned to have N'SYNC appear instead of a generic boy band, but I realized that I didn't know their names. Whoops. Oh yeah, my apologies to people who listen to boy bands...just having a little fun here! No offense! :) Woosh...I think this has gone long enough. I really had fun writing this. I hope you had fun reading it, too! Watch out for episode 2, which I've decided is going to be about Brittany and Kevin, but haven't really made a plot about yet. It'll be done in about a couple of weeks. 'Til then! jRev Copyright 2000 by jRev. Yada yada, all the other stuff that goes here. I know you have a conscience, please respect my rights. Thank you.