Community Service by Mick Scene One: Dinner as usual everyone sitting chewing on frozen lasanga. Helen: Girls I've been meaning to speak with you. My friend Barbra from the lbrary has a daughter in an after school science program, and she tells me they are looking for supervisors. You'll need those community service hours on your college applications. Daria: You mean if you plan on going to college. Quinn: You mean SCIENCE, like SCHOOL science. Daria: Quinn, you could teach all of them the chemistry of mixing shampoo and conditioner. Helen: What do you say. Why don't you ask your friends to help. Daria and Quinn in unison: NO! Scene Two: Quinn and the fashion club are in the back. Jane and Daria are in front. Sandi: It was such a smart idea for you to help with your Aunts friends science program. (Helens eyebrows rise) Do you have the shampoo and conditionar? Quinn: Got it (She holds up two bottles one marked shampoo and the other conditioner) Jane: Oh this is going to be educational. The car stops in front of a brick building with LAWNDALE ELEMENTARY written on the front. The whole troupe piles out of the car and walks into a gymnassium where about 20 children as young as 6 to 10 are running around screaming. Daria: They should have called it hells elemtary. Jane: Perk up Daria this is Americas future. Daria: Is that a reason to perk up? Jane: No its a reason to be afraid very afraid. A woman who looks like your typical elemtary school teacher signals the children to quiet down. Which they strangely do, obediently. Teacher: Children today is a very exciting day. We will be having several students from the highschool lead you on a bug hunt!(The children cheer, the fashion club looks horrified, Jane and Daria look on amused) And professer of nuerology at Middleton College here with us. Get into your groups. (The children scamper off as the teacher turns to Daria, Jane and the Fashion Club) We will also need a few people to help Prof. Newton. Sandi: We will (the fashion club nods eagerly) Teacher: Okay, well the bug hunt is over there and the brain proect over there. Have fun. Daria: You have the stun gun? Jane: Got it. Scene 3: Daria, Jane, and about ten of the children are walking around outside occasionly stooping down to pluck and torment a bug. Jane: Listen to this she. (She turns to the kids and yells at the top of her lungs) WASP!!!!!!!! The children scream and run around hysterically. Daria: That was cruel. Oh well. Scene 4: The gymnassium. A woman (obviously the professor) is talking to the kids and pointing to a chart of the human brain. Prof. Newton: And now for the fun part. (She opens a box and takes out a jar containing a squishy gray thing) Can you kids tell me what this is? All Children: THE BRAIN!!!!!!!! The Fashion Club: Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! Back to scene 3 Child with speech impediment: Dawia whats this? Daria: That is the deadly Applewhite millipeed. If it touches you your skins peels and falls off in clumps and your urine turns black. All children scream. Back to scene 4 Child with lisp: Thandi look. (pointing to a large microscope) Sandi: Like whats that? Child: My boogerth!! (Thank you Dr. Belch) Sandi: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!! Scene 5: Back in the car. The Fashion club is in the back looking tired, and sick. Daria and Jane look satisfied. Helen: So, girls how did it go. Jane: Great. Daria: We didn't have to use the stunn gun once. Or at least not on the children. THE END