CHOCOLATE GIRL - THE _OTHER_ LEGEND OF THE MALL by M Man This is not a full episode. It is written as a fourth segment to episode #410 - Legends of the Mall. With legends taking place in the 1950s, 1960s and 1980s, it's obvious what's missing - a legend from the 1970s. Here it is! Sandi is the narrator. A 1970s version of Quinn is Chocolate Girl, the victim of an very evil (and very familiar- looking) villain. It is intended to be placed between "Metal-Mouth" and "The House of Bad Grades" First, to set the context, here is a transript of the end of segment 2 of the actual episode "Legends of the Mall", after Trent has finished telling the legend of Metal-Mouth: (The Fashion Club is walking through a neighborhood of tract homes. They have stopped in front of one small house) Stacy: But, Sandi, I'm afraid to knock on that door. What if some fat old man in an undershirt answers? Tiffany: Brrrr!! Sandi: Fine. Let's go to the next house. I don't like that statue-thingy anyway. (walking past the next house) Quinn: What about here? Tiffany: Striped curtainnns. (the next house) Sandi: Cutesy mailbox? Please! (next house) Quinn: By the time we find a house, we'll be home. Hey! How about this one? Tiffany: Carrrporrt. Quinn: COMMERCIAL BREAK Voice-over by Daria: Pleated skirt: 40 dollars Heavy boots: 70 dollars Making out with your best friend's boyfriend: priceless There are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's MasterCard. Accepted in Lawndale, and a lot of other shallow places. END COMMERCIAL BREAK (The Fashion Club continues to walk through the same neighborhood. Quinn stops in front of a small tract house with a dark brown statue of a girl in front. There are lights on, showing through curtains) Quinn: Sandi, I'm starting to get blisters! I'm going to see if these people will let me use their phone. Sandi: (staring intently at the stauette) Oh, my God! Quinn, don't! Quinn: Sandi, you sound scared! What is it? Sandi: That little statue-thingy! It looks like - Chocolate Girl! Stacy: (Frightened) Oh, no. I've heard of her! Tiffany: Yahhh. Me toooo. Quinn: (tiredly) Who is Chocolate Girl? Sandi: You've never heard of her? It happened many years ago or whatever ... (Scene of Lawndale's pizza shop. It's the 1970s. Everyone is wearing bell-bottoms, earthtones, platform shoes, etc. Boys have sideburns and girls mostly have long, straight hair. A jukebox is playing "I Write the Songs" by Barry Manilow. Kevin, dressed like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, is sitting in a booth with Brittany, Mack and Jodie near the jukebox. He gets up and slaps the jukebox. It immediately starts playing "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees.) Kevin: That's better! (he sits back down.) (Jane and Daria are in a booth, playing backgammon. Daria's glasses are wire-rimmed. Daria rolls the dice and removes the last of her checkers. All of Jane's checkers are still on the board) Daria: That's a gammon. You owe me TWO pies. Jane: Double or nothing? Daria: You're on. (Quinn is in another booth, sitting across from Jamie, Joey and Jeffy) Jeffy: Can I give you a ride home? Joey: No, me! Jamie: Hey, it's my turn! Quinn: Sorry, guys. I'm supposed to ride home with my, uh, cousin and her friend. (The three J's all look disappointed) Joey: Oh. Well, OK. Jeffy: See ya later. Jamie: Yeah. Bye. Voice of present-day Sandi: She should have accepted the ride from those boys. But she didn't! She was to be sorry! (The boys leave. Quinn finishes her pizza. The jukebox finishes "Stayin' Alive" and goes silent. People are heard leaving. A manager appears, mopping the floor) Manager: Closing time, miss. Quinn: OK. (Quinn leaves some money on the table, then walks over to Daria and Jane's table. They're gone. Only the backgammon board remains along with some empty plates.) Quinn: (sees them gone) Oh, no! (to the manager) Can I use your phone to call somebody? Manager: Use the pay phone outside, miss. (Quinn goes outside the pizza shop to a pay phone. No-one's around. In the background, the pizza shop goes dark as it's closed up) Quinn: (trying the phone) This phone's broken. (Sighs) I guess I'll just have to walk home. (She starts walking) (Quinn is now passing through a neighborhood very much like the one in the present-day segment. She stops at a house with several dark brown statuettes - boys, girls, animals. She looks at them in distaste.) Quinn: Ewww! Tacky! (Sighs) (Quinn walks up to the door and knocks. It is answered by Mrs. Johansen, wearing a mumu with the words "Disco Til You Drop" on the front. The song "Disco Duck" is heard coming from a hi-fi. Mrs Johansen is slightly swaying to the music.) Quinn: Can I use your phone? I need to call for a ride home. Johansen: Sure! Come right in! (smirks and wheezes). Phone's right over here! (She points at a wall telephone. There's a large tin of brown liquid on the floor by the phone. Quinn steps into it before she notices it.) Quinn: Ewww! What's this? Johansen: Chocolate! (wheezes) Quinn: What's it doing here? I've messed up my best Earth Shoes! Hey, I can't get out! It's hardening! (Quinn struggles to remove her feet, unsuccessfully) Johansen: You just stay right there, missy. (She goes away, wheezing, and then comes back with something that looks a spray-gun for painting.) Quinn: What are you going to do? (Mrs Johansen starts squirting Quinn with chocolate from the spray-gun, wheezing, laughing evilly, and dancing to the disco music as she squirts.) Quinn: Ewwww! You're getting it in my hair! Stop that! (Mrs Johansen continues squirting. Closeup of Mrs Johansen, spraying, dancing, and laughing evilly, with Quinn out of the picture.) Voice of present-day Sandi: She was completely covered with chocolate! (Shot of 1970s Johansen house from the outside. Mrs Johansen's evil laugh, punctuated by wheezes, echoes all around, along with the sound of "Disco Duck") (Return to present day - Fashion Club girls standing in front of house) Sandi: That's what happens if you go into the wrong house. Quinn: (dubiously) So what happened next? Sandi: The evil woman ate the Chocolate Girl. Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany: EWWWWWW!!!! Sandi: She had become a chocolate confection. Quinn: (uneasily) I don't believe that. (The door of the house opens. It's the present-day Mrs. Johansen) Johansen: Any of you girls got any chocolate? (The Fashion Club girls all run away, screaming) COMMERCIAL BREAK Voice-over by Quinn Dinner at Chez Pierre: 80 dollars. New wardrobe: 1000 dollars Watching Sandi get dumped: priceless There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard. Accepted at Cashman's, and other popular stores. END COMMERCIAL BREAK (Last segment of "Legends of the Mall" - The House of Bad Grades - follows.) END OF FANFIC Note from M Man: I'm no good at drawing, or I'd do some pictures of what Quinn, Daria, Jane, the 3 J's, Kevin, Brittany, Mack, Jodie and Mrs Johansen look like in seventies get-up. Fan-artists are invited to have a field day with this fanfic.