ANY TIME AT ALL By C. Murphy enola_r@hotmail.com SCENE ONE: Lane house, Jane's room, night. She's ransacking it, trying to find something. On her bed is an open, half-packed suitcase. JANE: Dammit, dammit, dammit! Where the hell is IT?! TRENT: (Poking his head round the door) Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness you know Janey. JANE: (Hands on hips, surveying the room) No it's not, it's the third. The second's finding hairs on the palm of your hand. TRENT: (Examining palm) What's the first? JANE: (Looks over at Trent) Looking for them. TRENT: (Drops hand to side quickly) Speaking of looking for things, what're you searching for? JANE: My glue gun. You haven't seen it have you? TRENT: Nope. D'you think it could be in my room? JANE: As big as that mess is Trent, I doubt it's got its own gravitational pull . . . yet. (Thinks for a minute) I'll call Daria. Maybe I left it at her house. TRENT: I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. (He leaves) JANE: (Picks up phone and dials) . . . Hi, could I speak to Daria please? . . . Jane . . . That weird art friend of Daria's? . . . Thank you. (Cut to split screen between Jane and Daria) DARIA: Hey Jane, what's up? JANE: I can't find my glue gun. You seen it lately? DARIA: Only in my dreams of mass destruction. Why? JANE: It's missing and I had planned to take it to art camp. DARIA: Oh yeah, you're leaving tomorrow, aren't you? I wish I got to miss out on the Great Thursday Thackeray Think-A-Thon with Mr O'Neill. JANE: But I also miss out on some prize sketches of Brittany trying to figure out why her copy of "Vanity Fair" doesn't have this month's latest fashions in it. DARIA: I could take some Polaroids for you. JANE: No, I find they tend to take away the spontaneity of the picture. I'll get some next week. DARIA: Ok then, good luck. JANE: Thanks, I have a feeling I'll need it. Bye DARIA: Bye. (Hangs up. Split screen dissolves) SCENE TWO: Lawndale High, outside, the next morning. Daria's walking towards the building when Kevin's car pulls up, and Brittany jumps out, upset. BRITTANY: You almost hit *three* people Kevvie! KEVIN: Aw, babe! BRITTANY: You know, this makes me wonder how you graduated from Driver's Ed! DARIA: What I want to know is how the hell Kevin graduated from Middle School. (Daria turns her head instinctively to catch Jane's reaction. She looks downcast when she remembers Jane's not there) (Cut to Daria's locker. Daria's taking a few things out of her bag, putting a few things in, when Tiffany approaches her) TIFFANY: Like Quinn's cousin or whatever? DARIA: (Looks at her suspiciously) Yes? TIFFANY: As a member of the Fashion Club it is, like, my duty or whatever to inform you that that backpack is so, like, two years out of date. DARIA: (Sarcastically) Oh my gosh. That is *so* true. But, you know, that lipstick is 12 hours out of date. (Tiffany clasps her hands over her mouth, looks horrified and runs away. Daria turns her head again to catch Jane's reaction. She looks downcast when she remembers Jane's not there) SCENE THREE: Lawndale High, cafeteria, lunch time. Daria is at a table, picking dejectedly at her food. She notices someone walk over and looks up as Andrea sits down. DARIA: (Desperate to talk to someone) Hey, it's Andrea, right? ANDREA: Last time I checked. (Andrea sets down a brown paper bag, and begins to pull her food out of it, all animal-product free. Daria turns back to her food) ANDREA: Daria? Do you want to come to a party with me tomorrow night? DARIA: (Surprised) Uh, why? ANDREA: (Sighs) Because for some weird ass reason I thought you might appreciate a gesture of friendship. Work with me Daria! DARIA: Uh, sure, I guess. ANDREA: Cool, we'll pick you up at 9, tomorrow night. (Puts on some headphones and Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People" can be heard faintly) DARIA: (Low voice) By God! It spoke! (Looks again to catch Jane's reaction, then looks downcast) SCENE FOUR: Morgendorffer house, the living room, that evening. Jake is on the couch, reading the paper. The door opens and Helen enters, briefcase in hand, as Daria is coming down the stairs. HELEN: Oh! What a *day*! (Puts briefcase down and flops onto the couch next to Jake) DARIA: (Approached them) Mom? Could I ask you something? HELEN: Sure honey, (Cell phone rings) in just a minute. (Picks up) Hellooo? Yes Eric? We do?! Well, of course, I'd love to! Okay, so it's narcotics, right? (Gets a pen and paper, jotting this down) And their name is? Right, well I'll work on it this evening - you can email me - and we'll go over it tomorrow. Bye! (Turns back to Daria) Now, honey, you were saying? DARIA: I wanted to ask you if I could go to a party this Friday night? HELEN: Of course sweetie! It's so *good* that you're getting out more! Who invited you? That nice Brittany Taylor, or was it that boy you had round, Kevin? DARIA: Uh, it was Andrea Williams. (Cut to shot of Helen's notepad, where "Williams" has been scrawled under "drugs" and "trafficking") HELEN: Did you say Williams? DARIA: Yeah . . . HELEN: No! No, absolutely not! Not on your life my girl! DARIA: (Surprised and confused) Why not?! HELEN: Honey, I've just had a case come in: a Mr Williams charged with drug trafficking. I don't want you - DARIA: Mom, Williams is a really common surname. Andrea's probably not even related to this guy. You shouldn't jump to conclusions - HELEN: Exactly what *kind* of a person is this Andrea, anyway? Is she a cheerleader? On the Student Council? Involved in any sports or clubs? DARIA: No Mom, Andrea's more into . . . poetry and writing. HELEN: (Getting suspicious) Oh? What kind of music does she like? DARIA: (Looking really uncomfortable) Uh, kinda . . . introspective, contemplative . . . like Ma - (Stops herself) HELEN: (Eyes narrowing) Like *who*? DARIA: (Mumbles) Marilyn Manson. HELEN: MARILYN MANSON?! Oh no! There is no way in *hell* young lady that you are going to *that* party! QUINN: (Walking out of the kitchen) Ugh, that Marilyn Manson is a *freak* Daria! She's even worse than you. Why would you want to hang out with *her*?! DARIA: (Frowning) Mom, you shouldn't be so prejudiced against Andrea just because of her musical tastes and a very *common* last name. HELEN: Daria, just go to your room. You are not going to that party and that is *final*. (Daria, clearly pissed off, walks away and leaves the room. Cut to close up of her face as she walks up the stairs) DARIA: (Under her breath) Like hell it is. COMMERCIAL BREAK SCENE: Tiffany running away, horrified. CUT TO COMMERCIALS SCENE FIVE: Lawndale High, Daria's locker, the next day. Daria's standing beside her locker when Andrea walks up to her's. DARIA: Hey Andrea? Can I talk to you? ANDREA: Yeah? (Andrea opens her locker) DARIA: It's my mom. Please remember, I don't hold these views, but - ANDREA: We'll pick you up a block away. DARIA: (Surprised) Th-thanks. But how . . . ? ANDREA: After 6 or so years you get to know the signs. Don't worry about your mom Daria, she's just a parent, they're not the smartest people in the world. (Andrea closes her locker and walks away, leaving Daria still looking slightly confused) SCENE SIX: Morgendorffer house, the living room, that evening after dinner. Daria comes downstairs, Helen and Jake are sitting on the couches, going over work and reading the newspaper respectively. DARIA: Mom? I'm going to stay over at Jane's tonight, ok? HELEN: (Not looking up from work) Ok honey, have a good time! DARIA: (Opening the door and walking out) Bye. (Cut to outside) DARIA: That was too easy. (Daria walks down the street to the end of it, where she sees a car waiting. There are two Goth guys in front and Andrea in the back) ANDREA: (Opening the door) Hey Daria. DARIA: (Getting in) Hey Andrea, how are you? ANDREA: Ready to go get smashed! You? DARIA: (Laughs a little uneasily) Uh, ok. Um, who's party is this anyway? ANDREA: Dunno. Some guy in my brother's class. (Motions to the driver) DARIA: What grade's your brother in? ANDREA: Senior. For the 2nd time. SCENE SEVEN: The party house, a little later. Daria and Andrea walk into a smoke-filled room and over to the drinks table. Daria gets herself a can of Coke and Andrea looks around. ANDREA: Damn, where's the keg? (She sees something over the side of the room) ANDREA: There it is. (Narrows eyes) And there's that puss heap I call my ex-boyfriend. That piece of scum, how dare he call me a *teenybopper*?! Scuse me Daria, I have some business to attend to. Be back soon. (Andrea storms off, leaving Daria alone. Cut to a little while later: Daria opening another can. Later: Daria sipping on a can with 3 empty cans on the table beside her. Even later: Daria takes a final swig at her can then goes off the find Andrea) (Daria walks into what appears to be a study. She finds Andrea passed out on the floor. Daria kneels down to check on her, and is hit by the smell of alcohol) DARIA: Instant bonfire: just add match. (Gets up and walks away) I wouldn't want to be in her head when she wakes up. (Daria goes back to her position by the drinks table. She's standing there when Evan swaggers up to her, smiling and obviously under the influence) EVAN: (Voice slurring a little) Bond. James Bond. DARIA: Lost. Get lost. EVAN: (Realising who it is) Hey, you're that Misery Chick, Dara, that made Jane want to quit the track team. DARIA: And you're that elitist jock, Evan, that made Jane want to throw up. EVAN: (Getting angry) Oh, you think you're so great, don't you Dara, standing over here, making all your snide comments? Well, I'll tell you what Dara - DARIA: Look, if you're going to waste your time trying to insult me Evan, you could at least direct your remarks to the right person. My name is *Daria*. (Daria walks away) EVAN: Hey! You come back here! I'm not done with you! (Daria ignores him and walks outside into the garden. Cut to outside) DARIA: Well, at least I can breathe out here. (Cut to shot of two people making out) DARIA: Unlike those two. (Evan walks up behind Daria) EVAN: So you've come to spread your misery out here, have you? Just go away Da*ria*, nobody wants you here! Why'd you even come anyway? You weren't invited. DARIA: (Getting a bit angry) For your information I came with a friend, Andrea. EVAN: And she passed out just to avoid you? DARIA: (Looks like she's been slapped, but regains composure) Whatever you want to believe, Evan. EVAN: (Sneers) You have no friends Daria. (Daria opens her mouth to protest) EVAN: Oh yeah, you have *one*, that loser Jane. DARIA: Quality over quantity. EVAN: Oh yeah, well if she's so great, where is she now? Not here, with you, her supposed *best friend*. DARIA: Shut up Evan. (Looks composed until she turns around, then looks upset. Walks around to the front of the house) EVAN: (Calling after her) Good, get lost Daria! We all wish you were dead! Go home and never come back! (Cut to close up of Daria, a tear appears in her eye. She walks quickly down the street, until she comes to a phone booth. She goes inside, drops a few coins in and dials) SCENE EIGHT: Lane house, kitchen. Trent is making a sandwich when the phone rings. He picks up, cut to split screen between him and Daria. TRENT: Hello? DARIA: (Sounding a bit panicked) Hey Trent. Could I speak to Jane please? TRENT: Uh, Daria, Jane's not here, she's at art camp. DARIA: (Defeated) Oh hell. TRENT: Do you want me to take a message Daria? (Silence) TRENT: Daria? DARIA: What? Oh, no. No, that's ok. (Long pause) TRENT: (Concerned) Daria, are you okay? DARIA: (Quietly) No. TRENT: (Patiently) You're not at home, are you? DARIA: (Quietly) No. TRENT: Where are you Daria? DARIA: I don't know . . . (Cut to shot of some street signs) DARIA: Wait . . . uh, I'm on the corner of Columbus Drive and MacArthur St. TRENT: I'll be there in a minute. Don't move - stay where you are. DARIA: Okay (Trent hangs up and she does too. Daria walks out of the phone booth and goes to sit down on the curb. A short while later Trent pulls up. Trent gets out and walks over to Daria. He puts out his hand and pulls her up) DARIA: (Mutters) Thanks. (They walk round and get into the car. Cut to inside the car. Trent looks over and notices that there are tears slipping down Daria's cheeks) TRENT: Uh, Daria? (Daria looks up) You're crying. DARIA: (Irritably) Well gee, I *never* would have guessed! (Both looked suprised at this outburst. Daria then looks guilty. Trent pulls a tissue out of somewhere) TRENT: (Hands it to her) Here you go Daria. DARIA: (Takes it) Thanks Trent. (Wipes her eyes) Sorry. TRENT: What for? DARIA: Snapping at you, making you come pick me up. TRENT: That's ok Daria. You're a friend, I understand. (Daria smiles to herself) TRENT: Now, do you want me to drop you off at your house? DARIA: (Remembering she can't go home) No! You can't! (Trent looks at her) DARIA: (A bit embarrassed) My parents don't know I went to this party, they thought I was sleeping over at your house. TRENT: (Chuckles) I thought so. (Daria looks at him) TRENT: You wouldn't have called Jane if your parents could have picked you up. (The car pulls up at the Lane's. Trent opens the door) TRENT: (Turning back to Daria) Come on, you can stay here tonight. SCENE NINE: Lane house, Jane's room, an hour or so later. Daria is in Jane's bed, tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. Finally she switches on the bed side lamp and reads Jane's clock - 12:13. Daria groans, puts on her glasses and gets out of bed. She's wearing some old clothes of Jane's. DARIA: Four cans of Coke do not a restful sleeper make. (She shuffles out of the room and downstairs into the kitchen. Daria opens the fridge and gets out some milk, then begins going through some cabinets, looking for a glass. Trent wanders in) TRENT: Daria? DARIA: (Jumps then turns around) Oh, hey Trent. I was looking for a glass . . . TRENT: (Goes to a cabinet and pulls out a glass for her) Can't sleep huh? DARIA: (Shakes her head) No, I had too much Coke at the party. (Trent raises an eyebrow) DARIA: Wrong drug Trent. TRENT: (Smiles) Oh, ok. (Pause) You know, when something's bothering me I can't sleep either. DARIA: You? Not sleep? (Trent smiles) DARIA: Anyway, nothing's bothering me. TRENT: Daria, people who aren't bothered don't cry. Or get their best friend's brother to pick them up from curb-side locations at 11 o'clock. What happened at the party Daria? DARIA: (Clams up) Nothing. TRENT: (Sighs, knows he won't get anything out of her) Ok then. Since you're going to be up all night on caffeine you should come downstairs and keep me company. I know *I* won't be going to sleep for awhile. (Trent moves off, and Daria follows him. They go downstairs to the basement.) COMMERCIAL BREAK SCENE: Trent helping Daria up off the curb. CUT TO COMMERCIALS SCENE TEN: Lane house, basement. Daria is sitting on a battered old couch and Trent is sitting cross-legged on a mattress on the floor, strumming his acoustic. TRENT: Do you play an instrument Daria? DARIA: Well, my parent's made me learn the flute, but Euterpe was not with me then. TRENT: Who? DARIA: Euterpe was the muse of wind instruments. Calliope favours me. (Quick smile) TRENT: Let me guess, muse of the written word? (Daria nods) Who should I pray to then? DARIA: Well, Terpsichore for your playing and Polyhymnia for the song writing, I guess. Or you could pray to Orpheus, he takes special interest in those who play stringed instruments. TRENT: Wait, I thought all the muses were female. Who was Orpheus? DARIA: Orpheus was the son of Calliope, by Apollo. (Pause) TRENT: Tell me the story, Daria. DARIA: He was the greatest lyrist in Ancient Greece. When he played it is said that the deer would lay down by the lion, the trees would uproot themselves to come closer and the winds would still. Orpheus could walk through the wildest forest without fear, because his music would protect him. Then one day he fell in love with a Dryad called Eurydice. TRENT: (Entranced) She didn't love him back? DARIA: Oh no, it was love at first sight for them. But their wedding was not well omened. A short while later, Eurydice died of a snake bite. Orpheus was distraught, but determined to get her back. So he made his way down to the Underworld and charmed everyone with his music. Hades relented, and let him take Eurydice, but on one condition. He was to lead her out, and not look back on her until they had reached the surface. But near the end, he was struck with a sudden panic and looked back. He barely caught a glimpse of Eurydice before she dematerialised. TRENT: Then what happened? DARIA: Orpheus went back home. He was still grieving, but the other Dryads couldn't understand it. They tried to convince him to marry one of them, but he was still in love with Eurydice. Finally, in a fit of rage they tried to kill him. He played his lyre to deflect the spears, but they screamed and drowned out his music. Then they killed him. They threw his head and lyre in the River Hebrus, and as the two floated downstream he sang and his lyre played one last lament. His spirit went down into the Underworld and Orpheus was finally reunited with Eurydice. TRENT: Whoa. You learn something new everyday. DARIA: Not if school has anything to do with it. TRENT: (Laughs) I just learnt more in 5 minutes than I would've in an entire period with Mr O'Neill. DARIA: Well, consciousness *is* required for information absorption Trent. TRENT: Unless your teacher is a skilled hypnotist. DARIA: Mr O'Neill doesn't appear to have progressed past the first stage of putting students to sleep. TRENT: Daria? DARIA: Yeah? TRENT: Mind if I put on some music? DARIA: As long as it's not pop or techno. Or country. (Trent puts his guitar down, gets up and plugs in a portable CD player) TRENT: What do you take me for? Do you mind KoRn? DARIA: No, I can respect that. (Trent puts in a CD and "Got The Life" begins to play. Trent sits back down) TRENT: Respect? Yeah. At least if you don't like grunge you can respect it. Not like pop. They don't even write their own lyrics. There's no skill involved, if you can't even sing: hey, welcome to the wonders of technology! All they care about is having a pretty face. DARIA: "I regret to say we are living in an age of surfaces,". TRENT: Oscar Wilde. DARIA: (Impressed) You did learn something in English then? TRENT: No, we had a substitute that day. (Daria laughs) TRENT: Quotes are cool, you know, cause other people can always say things much better than I can. DARIA: Sometimes when I'm bored, I just sit down with my dictionary of quotes and flip through it for an afternoon. TRENT: What's your favourite quote? DARIA: "I'm not gonna change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that. I'm one of those people." John Lennon. TRENT: He had some damn good things to say. But he wasn't a freak. DARIA: Freak's a very subjective term. To us-freaks, he wasn't, but to Quinn-freaks, he was. Anyway, what's your favourite quote? TRENT: "Music is the universal language of mankind." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. DARIA: That's what makes foreign operas so popular. (Trent laughs a little, and they sit in silence for awhile) DARIA: Trent? TRENT: Yes Daria? DARIA: Do you want to know what happened at the party? TRENT: Only if you want to tell me. (Pause) DARIA: It's stupid really. (Pause) Do you remember that guy Evan that was on the track team? TRENT: That guy Janey liked for awhile? (Daria nods) Yeah. DARIA: Yeah, well he was at the party. And inebriated. Anyway, he obviously doesn't like me very much, because as soon as he realised who I was he began insulting me. Kept telling me that I had no friends and nobody liked me. (Pause) That seems so stupid now. I shouldn't have let it get to me - he's just a imbecilic jock. But . . . I really don't like people hating me. It doesn't bug me that Jane's my only real friend, I'd rather her than a million of Quinn's cohorts, but I'd like to think nobody *hates* me. TRENT: I don't think anybody hates you Daria. Like you said, that guy Evan was drunk. You're not thinking straight when you're drunk. And even if he does hold some sort of grudge against you, he's probably the only one. Anyway, his opinions don't count, he's a jock. DARIA: (Smiles) Thanks Trent. TRENT: No problem, it's what friends are for. SCENE ELEVEN: Lane house, basement, later that night/morning. Trent's still sitting on the mattress, quietly strumming his acoustic, and Daria's asleep on the couch. Trent looks up, realises Daria's asleep, smiles and gets up. He gently takes off her glasses and then pulls a blanket over her. He then gets another blanket and lies down on his mattress. SCENE TWELVE: Trent's car, the next day. Trent is driving Daria home. They pull up outside the Morgendorffer house. TRENT: You gonna be ok Daria? DARIA: (Getting out of the car) Yeah. Thanks again Trent. TRENT: S'ok, happy to be of service. (Daria smiles, and walks to her door. Trent drives off) SCENE THIRTEEN: Lane house, Jane's room, a few days later. Jane is painting something on an easel and Daria is sitting on the bed. JANE: So, I go away for four days and already you spend the night with my brother. (Daria glares at Jane) JANE: I *really* should leave town more often. I seem to play matchmaker better when I'm away. DARIA: And I'm sure you'll play a corpse better when you're dead too. Want to check? JANE: Temper, temper! (Pause) I can't believe you spent the *entire* night together and *still* nothing happened. DARIA: I can't believe you've spent your entire life like this and still no one's knocked you off. JANE: Oh believe me, many have tried. DARIA: I can understand why. (Jane flicks a bit of paint at Daria but she ducks and it misses and lands on the wall) DARIA: What're you painting anyway? (Gets up and makes a move to see) JANE: Uh-uh-uh! Not till it's finished! It's a present for you, and I want it to be a surprise. (Daria sits down again and Jane paints a few more strokes) JANE: Finished! (Daria gets up and walks around. On the canvas there is a painting with lots of little images. They depict: Evan drowning in a beer glass; Evan sizzling under the magnified light beneath Daria's glasses; Evan stabbed to death by paintbrushes and Evan with a twisted, smashed up electric guitar on his head) DARIA: (Putting her arm around Jane) It's good to have you back Jane. JANE: You know that last one was based on a dream of Trent's. Isn't it sweet, him playing hero to Daria, damsel in distress? (Daria glares at Jane. Cut to black, we hear the sound of a slap, then Jane cry out "OW!!") CUT TO ALTER EGOS AND CREDITS "Any Time At All" Lennon/McCartney Chorus: Anytime at all Anytime at all Anytime at all All you gotta do is call And I'll be there If you need somebody to love Just look into my eyes I'll be there to make you feel right If you're feeling sorry and sad I really sympathise Don't you be sad, just call me tonight CHORUS If the sun has faded away I'll try to make it shine There is nothing I won't do When you need a shoulder to cry on I hope it will be mine Call me tonight and I'll come to you.