A. Martino, Please by Beck Enter Mr.DiMartino's History class. Daria and Jane are sitting in the back, hoping not to be seen. DiMartino is yelling, as usual, and Kevin and Brittany are being stupid, also as usual. Mr.D: Today class, we will be LEARNING about the American RevolUTION. Can anyone TELL me who lead the colONIAL FORces? How about YOU Brittany? Brittany: Uh...Martin Luther King? Mr. D: No, Brittany, unFORunately that answer is NOT correct. HowEVER, if you can remember it LONG enough we MAY need it again...when we learn about CIVIL RIGHTS 200 years later! Brittany: (confused) But I won't be going to this school in 200 hundred years! Mr.D: THAT, Brittany, is some peoples opinion. Would anyone ELSE care to try? DARia? Daria: (resigned) The leader of the colonial forces in the Revolutionary War was George Washington, who also became our first president. Mr.D: Very GOOD, Daria. (glaring at Brittany) At least SOME people around here can keep their CENtury's right! Brittany: Um...no? Mr.D: *disgusted sigh* NeverMIND, Brittany, nevermind. Class DISMISSED. (muttering to himself) I really need to get a new job. Daria and Jane are in the hall. Kevin and Brittany are making out on Daria's locker, as usual. She finally pries them off and gets into her stuff. Jane: Good job in there. I'm so proud of you, you almost looked like you were enjoying that. Daria: Yeah. Right. You can tell from the ecstatic expression on my face. What's his problem, anyway? Jane: Beats me, but it sure must be something. (they start walking again) Hey, you know, we could throw him a party! Daria: What? Jane: (getting into the idea) Yeah, we could get Trent and Jesse to come and do a gig, and we could provide food. If I let Upchuck touch my hand I might even be able to get him to bring drinks. Daria: Trent and Jesse would never come. They hate Mr. DiMartino, remember? And he hates them. Jane: It'd be a good chance for them to practice, and besides, they need to play for someone besides the grungy crowd once in a while. Liven them up. Are you in? Daria: Yeah, what the hell. What else is there to do? Jane and Daria enter Jane's house. From somewhere far away comes the sound of ear blasting drums and guitars. Following their ears Daria and Jane trace the sound to Trents room. Trent: (turning down the stereo) Oh, hey, Janey. Hi Daria. Daria: Hey Trent. Jane: Trent, we need to ask you something. Trent: Fire away, little sister, I'm cool. Daria: We want you to play a party we're throwing for Mr.DiMartino. Jane: Daria! I was going to bring it up subtly! Trent: No way. He's psycho. Jane: Come on, Trent, it would be a great way to torture him. Trent: Yeah...I guess it would. Maybe I could do it, you know, just sort of show up and play a few numbers. Jane: Thanks Trent. Can you get Jesse to come too? Daria: No problem, just tell him that you're going to be there. Trent: Yeah, i can swing it. Jane: Good. Meet us in the History class at 1 tomorrow, and bring all your stuff. Trent: Sure. (he turns the stereo back up to it's original position.) Break to Mr.DiMartino's room the next day. Streamers are everywhere, and Kevin is getting tangled up in them. Jane is trying to get Trent's and Jesse's soundstage up, and Daria, Jodie, and mack are trying to organize food. The place is in chaos.) Kevin: Babe, help me! Brittany: Just a minute Kevie! (she runs over to help and manages to get caught up herself. Daria comes by and frees them) Daria: There. That nasty old tissue paper won't bother you anymore. Why aren't these things up yet? he's going be here anytime. We never should have gone through with this. Jane: Daria, come help Trent find the amp cord! Daria leaves Kevin and Brittany to the streamers and goes to help Trent. Suddenly a huge screech fills the air. Daria: What was that? Trent: We just blew the amp. And the guitars. I don't think we're gonna be able to play today. Jane: Oh, that's just great. now what do we do? (At that moment mr.DiMartino walks in) Mr.D: WHAT is going on? Trent? What are YOU doing here? Didn't you just BARELY graduate three YEARS ago? Trent: Uh..Happy Birthday? Daria: It's not his birthday. Kevin: (confused) It's not? Trent: Oh..then, uh, Happy Hanukah. Daria: (to Jane) I told you we never should have gone through with this. Mr.D: Daria? Jane? Was this YOUR idea? Jane: If I say no, do I still get in trouble? Daria: We wanted to know why you were spaced all the time, so we threw a party to make you happier. Obviously we failed, since all we've done is ruin sensitive electronic equipment and confuse jocks. Mr.D: Oh...uh..well, that was, uh, very THOUGHTful, of you girls... Kevin: Is it time for the party games yet? Jane: Shut up, Kevin. THE END