A GIRL LIKE ME A Poem in Celebration of International Women's Month A "Daria" Fan Fiction Poem (Part of the "Daria: the OAV's" Series) by Peter W. Guerin ================================================================ With apologies to Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis. ================================================================ AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER AND INTRODUCTION None of this ever happened. This poem is entirely a work of fiction. As for continuity, this could roughly take place before the events of the "Karen Carpenter Blues/Outbitched" story arc. I had planned to start "Outbitched" first, but this poem just kept going through my mind, and I finally decided to get it typed out. Further, finding out in the "Stone Soup" comic strip that this was International Women's Month also gave me an impetus in getting this typed. Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane are proof that, as Aretha Franklin sings, that "Sisters are doing it for themselves". Frankly, Daria admits in the "Pinch Sitter" episode that she doesn't like kids; however, the idea came to me, what if she saw a girl who was being picked on because she was different just like she was when she was her age? Thus the idea of the poem. I hope you like it. By the way, I'm hoping to contact that Delanore girl who wrote that excellent "Last Concert" poem that's up at Martin J. Pollard's Outpost Daria site (http://systech.simplenet.com/daria) so she can do a drawing based on this. I hope she can do this. All "Daria" characters are © 1993, 1997, 1999 MTV Networks, a division of Viacom International, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Enjoy! Peter W. Guerin President and CEO, Mark Zero Fan Fiction, Unlimited March 9, 1999 6:50 PM ================================================================ AUTHOR'S DEDICATION ================================================================ This poem is respectfully dedicated to Anna Mary Robertson Moses (1860-1961), alias Grandma Moses, who spent her whole life here in Washington County, New York, where I live. Happily, her descendants have picked up where she left off. "I am woman, hear me roar/In numbers too big to ignore." --Helen Reddy, "I Am Woman" ================================================================ There we were, Jane and me, Walking down Howard Drive; Just minding our own business, Just lucky to be alive. "Man, what a day!," Jane said to me; "DeMartino was all in a rage." "That's him for you," I snidely reply; "He belongs locked up in a cage." I'm happy to have Jane as a friend, I'm as happy as I can be; I'm just glad that I have found A girl who's just like me. I never did fit in back at Highland, Never did find anyone to get along; So it didn't bother me a bit, When it was time to pack up and say "So long." I thought it would be the same here in Lawndale, Just be the same old drudgery, But then I found Jane Lane, Someone who shares in my misery. We were getting near Casa Lane, When what did we see, A whole gang of sixth graders, Beating up on a girl brutally. Jane and I stood there, And saw the whole thing go down; Everyone was pummeling her, And it caused me to frown. I noticed her, when I got close, She looked a lot like me, When I was her age, A doppleganger, probably. She couldn't have been more than eight, And wore glasses as well; Wore a T-shirt, skirt and sneakers, She was in her own private Hell. She screamed an unearthly yell, As her tormentors did their evil works; I just wanted to pry my eyes away, And ignore those stupid jerks. "C'mon, Jane," I said, "let's go," "Before this depresses me;" But then, it seemed, unwanted, A memory came back to me. It was back in Highland, Back at that sixth circle of Hell; I was minding my own business, When I suddenly tripped and fell. Now I found myself surrounded, By creeps, jerks and goons; Misfits, scalawags and hoodlums, And other assorted buffoons. "Hey, you sissy!," one of them yelled, "We don't like smart alecks like you!" I stood up to my feet, And then calmly told them "Fuck you!" Suddenly, the fist crashed into me, And my glasses snapped in two; I fell to the sidewalk, And found myself in a hullabaloo. They beat me up real good, I thought it would never quit; But then someone yelled at them, And said to them "That's it!" I now saw in my haze of pain that it was Amy, My favorite aunt in the world; Suddenly she got one of those jerks, And just like that he was hurled. He fell flat on the sidewalk, sprawled in agony, Clutching at his guts; It would seem that to go against Amy, You would have to be nuts. Now Amy took them on, and they all were getting theirs; The way her Doc Martens were flailing, They'd be lucky to have any heirs. They now scrambled and ran off, Leaving just Amy and me. I got up and ran to her, and said, "I'm happy to have you, Amy." "I've been watching you, Daria," she said, "I know they were picking on you;" I gave her a big hug And said to her "Thank you." Now I'm back in the present, And I change course; Jane has to run up to catch me, Like she was a race horse. I went up to those pricks, And yelled at them "Leave her be!" They now turn to face me, Ready to face their destiny. I send one of my boots crashing Into the balls of one boy; While Jane delivers a blow of another, Collapsing him like a cheap toy. I hit another one in the guts, Jane does so with another, It finally gets to the point Where they all yell "Mother!" They now run from us, Running for the light; And we go up to the little girl they were tormenting To see if she was all right. She was sobbing now, Feeling so hurt inside; I give her a sisterly hug, To prove that with me she can confide. "Who are you?," I asked her, As I noticed her messed-up auburn hair; "What they did to you, I confess, Was totally unfair." "My name is Molly," she said, "No one really likes me;" "They say they don't like people" "Who are as smart and sassy as me." "I'm Daria," I say, "and that's Jane;" "We know how you feel;" "We'll watch out for you from now on;" "And, besides, you could use a good meal." "My family doesn't have too much," Molly said, "My father got laid off from work;" "Mother barely makes ends meet," "Sometimes I feel like a jerk." "Feel like some pizza?," I ask; Molly responds with a smile; I make that Mona Lisa smirk myself, And gain my first new friend in a while. "We can be your big sisters if you want," I ask; "Hang out with us, and you'll be all right." Molly agrees with us, And we walk into the fading light. So, now we head for some pizza, As two have become three, And I am so happy to have for a friend Another girl just like me. Funny how I wanted to just walk away >From her like I tried; If I really did that, A part of me could have died. But now I have a new friend, Someone who is in need; And I promise to her, That a true friend to her I will be indeed. Now we dig in to our pizza, And we're as happy as can be, For I now have found Another girl just like me. ================================================================ THE END ================================================================ THIS HAS BEEN AN EXCLUSIVE CREATION OF MARK ZERO FAN FICTION, UNLIMITED! ================================================================ "Home of the World's Weirdest Fan Fiction" ================================================================ Home page: http://direct.at/markzero.com or http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/network/4938 ================================================================ E-mail: markzero@zdnetmail.com ================================================================ Subscription list: http://MarkZeroUpdate.ListBot.com ================================================================ CLANG! CLANG! OUCH! I HIT MYSELF WITH THE !@#$%^& HAMMER! ================================================================