Another Damn

Mary Sue Fanfic

   

 

 

Text ©2008 The Angst Guy (theangstguy@yahoo.com)

Daria and associated characters are ©2008 MTV Networks

 

 

Feedback (good, bad, indifferent, just want to bother me, whatever) is appreciated. Please write to: theangstguy@yahoo.com

 

Synopsis: The author writes a Mary Sue story for Daria. The cause of literature is hurled back into the Dark Ages.

 

Author’s Notes: The events in this story took place only in the author’s imagination. He once worked as a magazine editor, hence the origin of this tale. The reader is assumed to have a working knowledge of the major characters from the Daria series, so prolonged personal introductions are not given in the story, which would make the introductions longer than the story itself. The whole story revolves around a comment Daria made in an interview published by Women’s Wear Daily in June 1998, in which Daria, commenting on her wardrobe, says, “My boots send a clear message: ‘I can kick you.’” (See the article at Outpost Daria.)

            There are no other notes, except that in the original version of this tale, I accidentally called it a “Mary Jane” fanfic. Duh.

       Many of my sillier stories make use of a free font called Cuckoo for the titles and subtitles. This cheery, useful font can be easily acquired from Urbanfonts.com or Abstractfonts.com.

 

 

Acknowledgements: For obvious reasons, no one was allowed to beta-read this story. I acknowledge this and am grateful for it.

 

 

 

*

 

 

INT = Interior scene

EXT = Exterior scene

VO = Voice over (off screen)

 

 

 

1. INT: AFTERNOON, FRONT HALL, MORGENDORFFER HOME

 

Daria walks into the house from the mailbox, opening an envelope addressed to her. Standing in place, she pulls out the letter and reads it. As she does, her face takes on a shocked expression. Moments later, she lowers the letter.

 

DARIA: [stunned] He rejected my story. [looks at letter again] And he sent me a badly photocopied form letter he didn’t even sign. [dark look] For that . . . he must pay.

 

 

 

2. EXT: LATER, ON A HIGHWAY IN A CAR DRIVEN BY JANE LANE

 

JANE: Help me out here, Morgendorffer. You want to see the editor who rejected your story with a form letter, so you can . . . do what?

 

DARIA: [scowls] Just drive.

 

 

3. EXT: THAT AFTERNOON, OUTSIDE AN OFFICE BUILDING

 

DARIA: Park by the door there. Keep the engine running.

 

JANE: Listen, while you're inside, can you get me a soda? And some chips, any kind. And a hot dog, if the vending machines have one. Microwave it before you come out, and put on some ketchup and mustard, and if they have relish—

 

DARIA: Stop the damn car, already.

 

Daria gets out of the car once Jane stops. Daria goes into the building.

 

JANE: [yells out of car window] If they have chips, get the barbecue flavor!

 

There is a short pause.

 

THE ANGST GUY: [VO, inside building] AAAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!

 

Daria runs back out of the building and jumps in the car.

 

DARIA: Love these boots. Home, please.

 

JANE: [groans, stamps on the gas, races out of parking lot] Where’s my food? And am I gonna do this every time you get a damn form rejection letter?

 

DARIA: I'll pay for pizza tonight.

 

JANE: [defeated] Damn it, Morgendorffer, you know all my weak spots.

 

They drive away.

 

 

 

 

Original: 8/14/02; modified 1/20/03, 06/16/06, 09/22/06, 10/31/08

 

 

FINIS